the thing is...

This is real life. (Alternate title: Oh, my God! My God!)

2012-01-17T03:45:00.001-06:00

The day before Thanksgiving, a mother and daughter came through my line. I would guess they are around fifty and seventy in age, and it is clear that they are very close and enjoy each other. We got to chatting while I rang up their order and learned a little about each other: we knew some mutual people through our churches and we are all Christians. We had some giggles and sincerely wished each other well.
They came through my line again on Christmas Eve. Same thing--exchanging more pleasantries and learning a little more about each other.
One more time, a few days later, they came through my line again, getting ready for a New Year's Eve party.
And I didn't see them again until tonight.

I was ringing up her groceries, trying to remember how I knew her, when a thought came to my mind: "She comes through with her mother." The thought was barely half-formed when the words came out of my mouth, quiet, but like a trumpet to my own ears, "HOW'S YOUR MOTHER?"
She paused, looked me square in the eye and said, "She died. I knew you were going to ask me about her and I've been dreading it, but I wanted you to know."
I literally did not know what to say. In the interest of the privacy of her pain, I won't go into the details of our conversation, but suffice it to say that there is NOTHING to say when someone is crushed by heartbreak. I hugged her, and sincerely offered anything I could give. We both cried and I didn't want to embarrass her, so I didn't prolong the conversation.
It's been almost twelve hours now, and I still keep trying to think of what I should have said to her. Trying to find the right thing to say...and the only things I can come up with are this:
1. You have been a wonderful daughter. You were a blessing to your mother until the end, and I know she loved you very much.
2. It doesn't help with the pain, but what a sweet promise we have in Jesus. Without his blood, there would be no hope. And even though the hope doesn't take away what you're feeling right now, it offers us comfort that many people don't have. Salvation is the only deliverance.

I don't even know her name.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

2011-12-27T23:13:00.000-06:00

Merry Christmas from The House of Des!

We hope the holiday season finds you healthy, wealthy and warm!

It was a brown Christmas here in Chilly-Minne. Not that anybody noticed...all we could see for miles and miles was Cars. Cars, Cars 2, Mater's Tall Tales, Lightning McQueen shoes, Lightning McQueen pajamas, Tow Mater matchbox cars and Cars Playdoh.

Richard decided not to buy Vikings season tickets this year, after Brett Favre (verily, verily) retired and he grieved not being at the Metrodome on Sunday afternoons...until we realized we would just be grieving if we were there, anyway, what with their dismal season and all... He has since turned his attention to Tim Tebow and enjoys tuning into a Packer game every now and then. He tore down and rebuilt our deck this summer and helped me plant a beautiful vegetable garden. Never have there been more cucumbers or tomatoes for one small family. Rich enjoys playing pick-up hockey on a fairly regular basis works hard from his office in our basement.

Erin has discovered the joy of Zumba and has lost over fifteen pounds since September. Now that the children are no longer hanging from her body (literally), she has rediscovered the joy of reading, writing and the occasional alcoholic beverage. She turned the Big Three-Oh this year and has grown leaps and bounds in the arena of "not caring what you think about her." She thinks this comes with age. In 2011, she had the opportunity to emcee two events at her church and longs for more opportunities to hold a microphone in front of large groups of people! (The POWER! Oh, the POWER!) She maintains her status as Media Maven (self-titled) and makes people laugh on a regular basis on Facebook (or so she is told).

Shirley Jean started preschool this year and loves every. single. minute. Shirley's vocabulary has grown exponentially in the last year and she has not stopped talking in approximately seven hundred years. She loves "danleen" dance class, Mater, princesses and her favorite color is purple. Her best friends are her Dad, her "buddyPedro," and Button, who we think is a horse. She is starting to listen and pay attention when we talk about God and Jesus, and loves praying for her family and friends.

BabyRichard (which is what we all call him...we did NOT think this through) is a healthy, happy, hungry boy. He is also very vocal. And by vocal I mean, he is VERY LOUD! He wakes up very slow in the morning and by the time he is cheerful, it's time for naps! He is a lot like his mama in this way... He is starting to talk more and more every day and is growing by inches daily. (I swear!) He has grown a very nice mullet that I just can't bear to cut off quite yet. He will just have to have "hockey hair" for a little while longer.

Pedro turned six this year and grows more neurotic by the minute. Kitty is between eight and ten years old and grows less interested in humans every day. We figure our mammal pets have approximately ten years left with our family. But who's counting?

It was a tough year for fish in The House of Des. Our beloved Fishmael died after living in our care for nine months. We replaced him with Nemo, Pinta and Santa Maria, who all died within twelve hours of coming to live with us. We replaced them with Boring, Stirling and Ming. Only Stirling and Ming remain. I maintain my innocence. Their deaths are not on my hands, but on the City of Roseville. May they rest in peace.

And that about brings 2011 to a close for us. We hope the Christmas season and the New Year bring you much joy and contentment in the Lord--who is real and alive!

Blessings to you all from our house to yours!

The Christmas Card We Didn't Send

2011-12-23T17:16:00.004-06:00

Nice one.

2011-12-20T19:50:00.000-06:00

Today for our Advent gift, I got Shirley and Richard cat chase toys that have a fish attached to a string, which is attached to a pole. They look an awful lot like fishing poles and my children were thrilled.
They also look an awful lot like a torture device after an hour or so of having them whipped around the living room.
Good thinking, Mommy.

Santa and Jesus

2011-12-15T00:01:00.000-06:00

Erin: It's fun to talk about Santa, isn't it?
Shirley: YEAH!
E: Does Santa bring toys to good or bad children?
SJ: Only GOOD kids.
E: What happens if you are naughty?
SJ: [silence.]
E: Do naughty kids get toys?
SJ: Nooooo.
E: You know what's special about Jesus?
SJ: He's REAL!
E: Yeah! He's real! And you know what else? You don't have to be good to receive his gifts! Jesus gives his gift to anyone who wants it.
SJ: Ok, Mom.

-a few minutes later-

SJ: Mom? What about reindeer?

Advent Calendar

2011-12-05T10:13:00.002-06:00

After perusing some friend's blogs and thinking about it, I decided to create an Advent Garland for our children. I set out to put it together the other night. I prayed that through this fun experience, my children would learn something about Jesus.

I picked up treat bags, tissue paper, a package of cardboard gift tags and some pretty ribbon.
I also picked out some chocolatey treats and a couple $1 gifts.

I picked out a font that I liked on my computer and typed out the numbers 1-24, so I would have something to draw from while I numbered the tags.

There were enough tags left over that I could re-make the ones I didn't like. You can see my "boo-boos" on the top right.

Treat bag #1 has peppermint kisses inside!

It occurred to me about half way through to put one member of our manger scene in each bag. Shirley LOVES opening up a bag to see who is inside. She knew right away that they were coming to see Jesus! Of course, baby Jesus is in the last bag. :)

The final product isn't quite as cute as I had hoped, but it isn't hanging quite right because the last ten (or so) bags don't have treats in them yet.

This is what it looks like this morning.

So far, the garland is a huge hit. Shirley loves it, and Richard loves anything his sister loves. As a side note, next year, I might not put so much chocolate in the bags...or set a precident of opening the bags after or before dinner, otherwise your morning starts out with kids all hopped up on chocolate. I thought about putting something else in there, but putting Cheerios in Advent bags just seems a little anti-climactic.
Also, waiting until tomorrow to open another bag is basically torture for my three-year-old. I knew it would be, so I'm glad I hung the garland WAY out of anyone's reach.
More than anything, this garland gives us a way to talk about Christmas and what it means. So far, so good!

I guess I should have seen that coming.

2011-12-03T23:34:00.003-06:00

Note to self: HIDE THE MARKER!

Think he'll get the point?

2011-12-03T21:43:00.000-06:00

Bleck

2011-11-22T12:46:00.000-06:00

I started a load of laundry last night before bed. I went down this morning to switch it to the dryer to find it standing open and full of water.
At least we know it doesn't leak.
Gross.

Glory

2011-11-13T02:04:00.000-06:00

For the past four years I have either been pregnant or nursing, so when I caught a cold, I had limited options for drugs. I'm still having a hard time getting used to the idea that I can buy cold medicine--and take it. To feel better.
Imagine.
So, tonight for the first time in over four years I bought and consumed DayQuil.
Oh my stars--it's glorious! Who knew (remembered) this stuff worked so great?!
Tonight, I opted to only take half a dose of NyQuil so that I won't be too groggy when the kids wake up in the morning. They don't care if I'm sick! They still wake up at the same time.
I just can't remember: am I allowed to take NyQuil with a glass of wine? Seems like that might be dangerou...z.zzzzzzz.zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

The GQ Shopper

2011-11-09T00:09:00.000-06:00

Your super cool, stylish, uber-metro image goes right out the window when you pull out your royal blue velcro wallet to pay for your Axe deoderant body spray, deli sushi and your Diet Rite (white grape).

The Passive Aggressive Shopper.

2011-11-06T01:20:00.000-05:00

Erin: Plastic bags for you today?
The Passive Aggressive Shopper: I guess.
Erin: Are you sure?
The Passive Aggressive Shopper: It's fine. Whatever.

I can not express how frequently this conversation occurs.

Too much?

2011-10-24T20:45:00.003-05:00

Thoughts on Zumba

2011-10-19T01:31:00.003-05:00

Doing Zumba tonight in front of the wall to wall mirrors in the gym, I got a good idea of what I have looked like at all the bachelorette parties and weddings I've been to in the last five years. And to all of you who may have happened to be there, I'm so sorry. Turns out, people weren't watching me dance because I'm so cute and have great moves. They're watching me because they think I need a drink. They're thinking I need to ligh. ten. up.
It might be possible that I have finally found something for which I am truly too Baptist. It has to be the Baptist thing, right? ...Otherwise the only other logical conclusion to draw is that I am not very sexy. (But really, what's the difference?)
I burned 558 calories in 55 minutes. Fifty-five minutes of pelvic-thrusting-hip-rotating-girating-jumping-up-and-down-booty-shakin' good fun.
I will go back next week.

Top Ten

2011-10-13T03:18:00.000-05:00

Top ten phrases most likely to result in my telling you to get lost*:
1. It goes so fast.
2. It's gonna take a LOT of cardio.
3. I am well, thank you.
4. Just wait until they're teenagers!
5. If you think you're tired now...
6. Losing weight gets harder as you get older.
7. You'll miss this season of life.
8. Oh...can I have paper? Can you re-pack that?
9. Just keep swimming.

And last, but not least...
10. HANG IN THERE.

*The phrase "get lost" is intended to signify two very different words.

And now I want a Honda.

2011-10-10T23:55:00.002-05:00

Torture

2011-10-07T10:28:00.000-05:00

I've given myself a goal to lose ten pounds in ten weeks. So far it's going great! I'm down four pounds in three weeks. I've been very careful about what I eat and working out regularly. I decided yesterday to sign up for the Weight Loss Challenge at my gym. Every Thursday for six weeks I get to go circuit train with personal trainers and hopefully bolster my weight loss efforts at home.
I can hardly walk today I am so sore.
The prize for winning the Challenge (whoever loses the highest percentage of body fat wins!) is eight personal training sessions. After last night, that doesn't seem like a prize to me. It seems like torture.
Onward and upward.

That was a first...

2011-09-26T23:46:00.000-05:00

So...tonight at work, I had a very strange couple come through my line. I don't think I'll go into very much detail except to say that they made me exceptionally uncomfortable and my goal was to get them through the check out process as fast as possible.
Their bill came to $46 and the man looked and looked for his money. He couldn't find his credit card, his cash...in fact, his whole wallet had gone missing.
Just when I was starting to try to formulate a Plan B, when he said, "Oh, wait! I got it!"
This man TOOK. OFF. HIS. SHOE. and pulled out four, one hundred dollar bills.
It really takes a lot to gross me out, but sweaty foot money puts me over the top.

MNF

2011-09-12T22:39:00.002-05:00

Erin: There's football tonight? I thought Monday Night Football started later in the season.
Richard: Yeah. It starts a day later.

Ten on Ten

2011-09-10T22:04:00.002-05:00

Good morning!

It's laundry day!

Lunch for the littles.

Dessert? (For the mama.)

Lunch for the bigs.

Watching the "construction crew."

: : This blog will now break for its
regularly-scheduled nap time. : :

Dinner time!

Post-dinner giggles.

Better make those returns.
The House of Des wing of the library is big enough.

A new snail companion for Fishmael. Meet, Margot.

Be sure to check out Lauren's blog for her ToT, scheduled to post tomorrow.

Click the link below for more info on Ten on Ten.

Oopsies.

2011-09-03T01:51:00.001-05:00

Richard [proudly surveying his newly cleaned-out refrigerator]: It's nice to know exactly what we have in the fridge.
Erin: I know exactly what we have in the fridge. If you did the grocery shopping, you would, too.
Richard: Oh, yeah? Then no more shredded cheese.

Working Girl

2011-09-02T10:23:00.001-05:00

So...some of you may know that I went out and got myself a part time job at an enormoous retail chain store as a cashier. Looking back, I'm pretty sure I decided to get a job in a hormonal fit of pique, but that is immaterial.
Anyway, I applied for the job online, and they called me less than twelve hours later, and hired me twelve hours after that. Either they don't get my kind of resume very often or they are seriously desperate.

My first interview went great. My interviewer said, "Can you stay for a second interview so we don't have to call you back?"

Thrilled, I said, "Sure!" Secretly, I was grateful I had stopped in the ladies room on my way to the interview.

My second interviewer said, "Ok, I'll be honest. If you don't blow this interview, we are going to offer you a job."

I said, "I won't take any phone calls and I won't say anything offensive."

From there, I went to the on-site clinic to do my drug test, which required my ability to fill a cup with 30cc of urine. That is 1/8 of a cup. Do you think I could do it? No. Way.

I sat in that dang clinic for TWO HOURS trying to fill my cup. It was humiliating. Finally, we turned in 11cc and hoped it would be enough to pass the test.

When I left, I sincerely thought I might be the first person to fail a drug test due to lack of a sample.

I started my first shift not knowing if I had passed or not, but no bells or whistles went off when I clocked in and no one from HR yelled at me, so I just kept working.

Thankfully, I recieved this in the mail earlier this week:

So...that's that. More on this in the near future.

Garden Goods

2011-08-29T15:18:00.001-05:00

This is what happens when you ignore your garden in order to rear children:

Salads for everyone!

I pretty much own the place.

2011-08-23T13:44:00.003-05:00

I just paid my library fines online. With a credit card.
If you'd like to tour the House of Des wing of the library, please give me a call to set something up.

Good advice to keep in mind.

2011-08-18T14:02:00.001-05:00

Big changes are hard on everybody. And when you're a little person with minimal control over your life, major adjustments like the arrival of a new sibling, a move to a new house, or a change in childcare often trigger regression. Your child may lapse into baby talk or soil her pants for the first time in months. Rather than getting mad, see regression as what it is: a sign that your child needs some extra TLC as she adjusts.
-Babycenter

I'm not really the kind of girl who wears toe rings.

2011-08-16T20:25:00.001-05:00

When we moved in to our house five years ago, I found this broken earring in the carpet. We had out-of-town company shortly after we moved in, so I have saved it all this time in case someone asked me if I found their sterling silver and sapphire earring.

Imagine my surprise when Shirley taught me the real purpose for this "earring."

Book Review

2011-08-12T13:53:00.000-05:00

The Scent of Rain and Lightning by Nancy Pickard

Synopsis: Orphaned Jody is all grown up and suddenly has to face the reality of her parents' murders when key evidence that put their killer in jail comes into question.

Readability: No problemo. Well. Except for the fact that Pickard used her thesaurus a little too much. I felt, frequently, like she used too many words to say something relatively simple.

Predictability: Man! I thought I had it figured out, but boy was I wrong.

Couldn't Put it Down Factor: In-between. The first hundred pages were touch-and-go for me, but the rest of the book was pretty exciting. Mostly, I kept reading because I wanted to know if what I thought happened really happened.

Recommend it?: Sure. Not a bad read. This one didn't leave me hot or cold. It was a decent book, but not compelling enough for me to even really remember it enough to review it a week later.

Three out of five stars. Meh. I would like to read more of Pickard's books to determine if she chose to write in this rambling cowboy style to fit the theme of the book of if she always uses too many words. I really did enjoy the plot twists, though.

Ten on Ten

2011-08-10T23:43:00.000-05:00

Good morning, big boy!

Breakfast?

Making beds.

Still love my pretty bed.

Playing in Sissy's hat.

Pete.

Quiet time with a gift from my girl.

Oiling my favorite cutting board.

Stamp a stack.

Shhhhh...

Ten on ten. Check it out. Lauren's, too.

Are you ready for some...

2011-08-02T00:08:00.000-05:00

Apparently something exciting happened in football last week.
It has been FOOTBALL 24/7 in our house for the last two weeks.
Madden 2012 comes out on August 30th, but the demo comes out on August 9th.
A bunch of old guys have a lot of redundant things to say about football on the NFL network and ESPN. And ESPN2. And ESPNespanol.
Football officially begins the same weekend as the marriage retreat (just like it does every year. Just like it causes a paralyzing panic in my husband EVERY YEAR).
All this begs the question:
Isn't it still baseball season?

Child Proof

2011-07-30T15:13:00.001-05:00

I'm a Sidewalk Surfer

2011-07-29T22:20:00.003-05:00

Aren't these shoes cute? I've wanted them for a couple of years now, and tonight the Des Crew headed out to go spend a gift card. Imagine my surprise when I found the last pair of these babies...one size too big. I took them to the customer service guy and he looked them up for me. He determined that there might be one pair left in Berkeley, California, but I would have to have the customer service desk call and confirm.
I took my little slip to the front desk and she called California. I admit, I was concerned that some California girl was already wearing my shoes, but I remained hopeful.
The call took over ten minutes during which we (yes, "we." I bonded with that CSR tonight!) got put on hold and transferred three times and I got sent back to the shoe department to grab the pair that was too big, and then the computer froze up, and everybody panicked because the store closed ten minutes ago, but in the end, the Berkeley store is sending my new shoes to Roseville early next week. I got the very last pair in the entire company. The whole country. Maybe even the whole world.

The Grand Pickle

2011-07-26T17:28:00.008-05:00

In my opinion, cucumbers are the lemmings of vegetables. The guys that no one really notices and take on the flavor of whoever they're hanging out with. If the onions want to jump off a cliff, so will the cucumbers. I guess it's safe to say that God created cucumbers to take on strong flavors in order to make them actually enjoyable.
That being said: I think it is important to confess that I will eat just about anything if you put enough vinegar on it (insert joke here).
Also, I have hated plain cucumbers my entire life.
So...when I lost my marbles and planted two cucumber plants in the garden this spring, it became necessary for me to figure out to do with all these cukes.
Obviously, the answer is to pickle whatever cukes I can pry out of my husband's greedy little fingers. I found a recipe for Spicy Refrigerator Dills on allrecipes.com and knew they were the pickles for me!

Everything I need...Chop!

Stir!

Let sit at room temperature for two hours.

Fill jars.Cute, huh?
Label and refrigerate for ten days.

Garden Update: For Real

2011-07-26T01:46:00.009-05:00

I am finally able to post an update on our garden! I am so proud of it...I couldn't narrow down the photos. Please indulge me while I share.

First, for posterity, here is a picture of the front of our house. The Snap Dragons haven't really filled in like I had imagined...and they are not variegated like I thought they would be, but they look pretty cute!The garden! I just can't believe how it has taken off! I took these pictures five days ago, and even now, the cucumbers have continued to grow and the tomatoes are bigger than ever.Early Girls.
Strawberries.Bell peppers.
Heirloom: Lemon Boys.

Beautiful basil.

Beets for pickling.

Jalapeno.

Heirloom: Cherokee Purple.

"Beefy support" for my aggressive killer cucumbers.

This guy is currently being pickled.

These guys were turned into cucumber salad.

Pretty!

Richard's garden stone. Shirley made one, too, but surprisingly, it can not support the weight of a mommy stepping on it. Or maybe it's not surprising.

Romas.

Better Boys.

Will there come a time when I can't remember what we did or didn't do with a specific vegetable? I hope not! The day after I took these pictures, the tomatoes sustained a lot of wind damage. They drooped over and got completely tangled. They are looking better, but I was pretty worried for a couple of days. The truth is, this is just a TINY fraction of the tomatoes we're going to have and if some don't survive I'll still have tomatoes coming out my ears.

I just can't imagine what it must have been like to have to grow food for your family and depend on the family garden for a whole year's worth of food! I think about pioneer women, and women like my great-grandmothers who tended gardens every year in order to feed their families. I am so thankful that if this doesn't work out I can still go to the grocery store for fresh, healthy food!

New Computer

2011-07-26T00:13:00.003-05:00

Richard: You should take the plastic off the cover.
Erin: No!
R: Are you gonna take the stickers off?
E: No!
R: Can I open the battery?
E: No!
R: Why?
E: Then it's not new anymore!
R: You're crazy.
E: Why don't you just sneeze on it and break it in.

I'm a heavy.

2011-07-24T20:07:00.003-05:00

Sometimes when one of us has a headache, it feels really good to have the other lift straight up on our heads to relieve some of the strain in the neck. I'm sure we are a chiropractic nightmare, but, hey. It helps. Last night, I asked Richard to do this for me.
Richard, lifting: Grunt, strain, grunt.
Erin: The human head is heavy, isn't it?
Richard: Well, actually, I think it's all the other stuff attached to the head that makes it heavy.
Erin: Are you calling me fat?
Richard: I, uh...um, wait. Ah. Um. Oh, I uh... What?

Garden update...sort of.

2011-07-21T11:38:00.001-05:00

I am unable to upload pictures of my garden lately, so you'll just have to trust me when I say that it is OUT. OF. CON. TROL.
Getting pretty excited around here.
Gotta go look up pickling recipes.
HOPEFULLY, pictures coming soon!

What Harry Potter Means to Me

2011-07-15T12:29:00.006-05:00

So...I went at midnight last night to see the last ever Harry Potter movie.
It was funny: as the movie drew to a close, I couldn't help but feel sad. Harry and I have been friends for a long time. Longer than I've known my husband. Longer than I was in high school. Or college. Longer than I've been a parent. Or known who I want to be when I grow up. We have a history.
Say what you want about the Harry Potter books, but something much bigger is going on here for me. Something bigger than the story on paper. His story has become a part of mine, simply because he's been here all this time. There are other characters that are a part of me--Kinsey Millhone, Anne Shirley, Emily of New Moon, Nancy Drew, Jose and Ursula from *One Hundred Years of Solitude*, and Clay from *Memoirs of a Demon.* I know they aren't real, but I carry them with me and always will.
As an adult, the books that have made a lasting impression on me are fewer and far between than when I was a child. A book that lives and breathes and grows with you is a rare and cherished thing.
I have felt for a long time that God shows his abounding love for me in fictional literature. He created me this way--to read and write and enjoy. I am so thankful for his intricate planning and love for me that I can find such joy in the written word and turn my face to him while doing it.
Anyway, Harry, I'll miss you. It's been a good run.

There's a parenting analogy here somewhere.

2011-06-16T10:56:00.005-05:00

Here's why gardening is so satisfying:
You put the plants where you want them.
You can cage many of them, and tie others to stakes to ensure proper growth.
It's approximately a one-hour-per-day commitment.
Water daily.
Feed weekly.
Allow time to grow.
Shelter from cold.
Protect from pests.
Produce fruits.
Take the winter off.

Deck!

2011-06-12T23:08:00.007-05:00

What's this? ANOTHER home improvement project? You got that right. We are on a roll.
Our deck formerly had an incredibly ugly privacy "screen" on two of its corners, protecting us from the prying eyes of our neighbors. Here's the thing, though: there's nothing to see but an ugly privacy screen. Our house sits so far back from the street and other houses that we are fairly secluded and have no need for the ugly thing.

Once again, I forgot to take a real "before" picture, but looking at this, you can probably get the idea.

Finished tearing down.
Pedro's checking out Richard's work.

Tear down from a different angle.

Helping Daddy build!

Two sides finished. Third railing almost fabricated.

The Richards.

Finished!

Next weekend's project will be to paint the deck all the same color as the fence, and then I think we may be--dare I say it?--finished with our big projects for the summer.

More Projects

2011-06-12T22:52:00.005-05:00

Our neighbor gave me a flat of Snapdragons last week and said, "I think these would look great in front of your house."
Subtle, right?
Not one to look a gift dragon in the mouth, however, I got to work.

First, I had a hosta to plant.
Before:

After.

Before the Snapdragons:

After.
They will grow to be 18-36 inches high and be very colorful in front of the house. I can't wait to see them in full bloom!

Updates to follow!

Satisfaction!

2011-06-07T16:40:00.005-05:00

Little else has given us as much satisfaction on this project as what we accomplished today:

We finally got rid of the pile of sand and the pile of busted up concrete today. In 100 degree weather, no less. YEAH! Also, you would not BELIEVE the creatures we found living in our pile of concrete. It's been less than a week! I should charge Toad Rent.

Little else has given us as much satisfaction as getting rid of the sand and concrete... Except maybe this:
These are my sunflowers. They are literally tripled in size from this time yesterday. This is so exciting!

Urban Experiment: Raised Garden Edition

2011-06-06T14:17:00.016-05:00

When we moved in to our house, there was a hot tub in the back yard. We kept it for about a year and then sold the stupid thing. What a pain in the rear. After that, though, we ended up with an empty cement slab threatening the safety of our family and friends. Richard and I have been talking about what to do with it for a long time, and this spring we finally decided to tear it out and build a vegetable garden.
Here is a photo journal of each step of the back-breaking project. I don't really feel like they convey the amount of work that went into each step, but aside from being able to make YOU lift a shovel, I guess I won't be satisfied that you truly understand.
I only wish we had thought to take a picture of the slab in its original state, but I forgot until it was too late.

This is what was left underneath the slab off concrete.

Here is the pile of concrete...anybody need clean-ish fill?
Under the cement slab we found a startling amount of sand and rock. In order to reuse the landscaping rock we had to build a rock sifter and sift out the sand into the wheelbarow. The day pictured here was the day after it had rained, so every. single. shovelful was very heavy.
We tore out the wooden walkway leading to the gate. We will use the sifted rock to make a path to the gate with decorative pavers. More photos of that project to follow.
The neighbor graciously gave us left over black dirt from his order. It was so nice of him!
It saved us a lot of time and money. I paid him back with baked goods. Once we have produce, I will be sure to share with him!It was enough to fill our garden half way!
What a mess!

You can see the rock sifter leaning against the AC unit.

Garden Girl is sitting on the newest wall of the garden. She is an accomplished rock-picker.

DIRT! We were so relieved when this was in. What an accomplished feeling!Shirley and I planted three flats of marigolds to keep away the rabbits! I'm not working this hard to offer snacks to the neighborhood rodents.
Planting the marigolds was sweet and bitter because it brought back memories of my Gram. She always planted marigolds around her garden. I think she would be excited about our effort.
I have also been thinking a lot about my grandpa in Nebraska. His garden always had tomatoes and corn. I have wished several times that I could call him up and ask his advice. I never realized how much growing things would make me think about my loved ones. I can't help but feel like we are connected through the earth in this way. God loves me so much to bless me like this.
Finished marigolds. Green, yellow, red bell peppers and jalapenos.
In the top left corner, I planted carrot, parsnip and beet seeds. The towel is for my poor knees.
Along the top of the photo, to the right of the seeds are four rows of onions. In the top right corner of the garden are two watermelon plalnts. Below those are two cucumber plants. Gross. I'll be planning to give most of these away...unless maybe I decide to make pickles. Maybe I can wear rubber gloves so I don't smell like a cucumber all summer.
In the bottom of the photo here, you can see the beginnings of Tomato Alley. From left to right we have Heirlooms, Grapes, Romas, Early Girls and Better Boys.
Finished planting!
In the center of the garden you can see cilantro, rosemary, basil and Greek oregano. To the top-right of the oregano, marked by a rock are green beans.
Along the deck-edge of the garden, I planted sunflowers. I hope they will grow to be about four feet tall and make a natural barrier between the deck and the garden to keep the four-legged family members out. Caged and fenced.

I know it sounds silly, but I just can't believe food will come from this toil--especially the seeeds! We prayed over our garden that God would be honored in our hard work, and after the enormity of the project I honestly feel like we can take on any project!
We are planning to finally get rid of the sand and cement today or tomorrow, and then we can rake the landscaping rocks into place and have a nice walkway from the deck to the gate. I want to add a few more touches to the garden, and I will post pictures of our progress over the summer. We are all very excited about this change to our back yard.

Misshapen

2011-05-11T00:26:00.008-05:00

I am finally able to write about this without crying, cussing or grimacing (mostly).
Four to six weeks ago, I went to get my eyebrows threaded (if you don't know what that means, google it).
Now, let me just say that getting my eyebrows done is a pretty frivolous expense for me since I really don't have a lot of eyebrows to work with. Essentially, my eyebrows are clear. BUT, I can't see to do my own very well (because I am 70 years old), so it's nice to put my face in the hands of a professional.
So...like I said, four to six weeks ago, I went to get my eyebrows threaded. We had walked around the mall with some friends and stopped for a treat at McDonald's (for Shirley: a strawberry milkshake and for me: an iced coffee) on our way to the eyebrow threading place.
Upon arriving, I told Shirley not to spill her ice cream and please be quiet, we'll be done in a minute, right before I spilled most of my enormous iced coffee all over the floor.
The threading lady said, "There is a SIGN! No food allowed!"
I said, "I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!"
She said, "There's a SIGN! You spilled your coffee on the floor!"
I said, "I'm so sorry!"
She said, "THERE'S A SIGN!"
I said, "I didn't see the sign! I'm so sorry!"
She said, "NO FOOD ALLOWED!"
I said, "Well, it's TOO LATE NOW! Do you want me to clean it up or WHAT?"
She then proceeded to hand me ONE paper towel.
From there, the details are hazy, but I distinctly remember her snatching the pink milkshake out of stunned Shirley's hand and setting it on a faraway counter.
And after that, I got in her chair and let her decimate my face.
I don't know why I did it, but I think I was just so embarrassed and startled that she would shriek at me the way she did that I just got in the chair to make it stop.
So for the last four to six weeks I have had to bear the shame of not seeing the NO FOOD ALLOWED sign and spilling my coffee on the floor ...in the middle of my face.

Happy Mother's Day!

2011-05-08T11:33:00.002-05:00

Book Review

2011-04-26T00:06:00.003-05:00

The Girl Who Chased the Moon by Sarah Addison Allen
Synopsis: When her mother unexpectedly dies, sixteen year old Emily goes to live with her grandfather. Here's the thing, though: she didn't even know she had a grandfather, let alone an eight-foot grandfather living in the strangely magical town of Mullaby, North Carolina until she was orphaned. While there she makes a few special friends and begins to learn the secrets about the sleepy barbecue town and her mother's silent past.
Readability: Easy. Charming. I really like SAA's style. I reviewed her book, Garden Spells a few months ago. I love the way she weaves a little bit of magic into an every day kind of story.

Predictability: I didn't really know what was going to happen, but if forced to guess, I probably would have figured it out. I'm ok with that.
Couldn't Put it Down Factor: I had a hard time getting in to this one, but once I got going, I was hooked. Sometimes I think I lose something of the story when I devour it so fast. Alas, I may never know what it's like to savor a book. I don't have that kind of self control. It took me a week to read the first fifty pages and 36 hours to read the last 200.
Recommend it?: Yeah, though not as highly as Garden Spells. I felt, like with GS that the author only took it so far, when it really could have developed into a masterpiece. That being said, I highly enjoyed it. There is no violence or bad language, but there is one sexy scene--fair warning to my more tender-hearted readers. This wasn't the kind of book that I finished and said, "THIS BOOK WILL CHANGE THE WORLD!" But I did finish and say, "That was fun. Glad I picked this one up." It was sweet, satisfying, and perfect for a road trip over Easter weekend. So there.

Three out of five stars. Very well written, but again, I feel like she stops just short of really developing the story and characters. Some of you nerds out there will know what I mean when I compare her style to that of Gabriel Garcia Marquez. He weaves magic into seemingly mundane stories, making them sparkle. SAA does that, but without the plot and character development that would take 200+ more pages, which, I'm not sure the average reader is looking for. Keep in mind, GGM is a difficult author, and I enjoy the light-hearted feel of SAA's novels. In many ways she is the best of both worlds. I just keep wishing for a little more.

OPEN! SESAME!

2011-04-18T22:15:00.005-05:00

I had to take this picture in my kitchen because the one I tried to take in the car in the dark in the Wal-Mart parking lot didn't turn out very well. I can honestly say, I don't even really like chocolate, but the chocolate I DO like and crave...well...ain't nothin' gonna stand in my way.

Richard's Theory of Relativity

2011-04-14T14:45:00.004-05:00

If every light socket in the house has a working lightbulb, (at least) one must burn out immediately.
There shall never be a time when all lightbulbs are completely functional.

Book Review

2011-04-11T22:50:00.008-05:00

Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen
Synopsis: In the summer of 1931, Jacob Jankowski runs away with the circus. That's all I'm giving you.
Readability: Not hard...as in challenging. There were a few scenes that were difficult to stomach. This one is pretty gritty, folks.
Predictability: I didn't know. I didn't know. I just didn't know what was around every corner. You know I love that. This subject was so unfamiliar to me that I honestly didn't know what was coming next. There were some major surprises for me in this story. That being said, the ending was FANTASTIC.
Couldn't Put it Down Factor: Bah. I have been angonizing over how to answer this question. Here's the thing: while I was reading, I was completely captivated and didn't want to stop reading. When I did stop reading and thought about the book, I thought, "This is so dumb! Why am I reading this?!" I struggled with this dilemma through 300 pages.
Recommend it?: Um. I honestly don't know whether or not to recommend this. It's a very satisfying and enthralling read, but it is awfully gritty. There is quite a bit of sexiness, animal stuff that's hard to read, and a fair amount of language. This may bother some of my more fair-hearted readers. That being said, I think I enjoyed this one. I'm pretty sure. I really, really liked the ending. The ending made made it all worth while. So...if you're reading it and you're thinking, "Why did I get into this? What was I thinking?" Just remember what I said: the ending makes it all worth while. Though I can't honestly say, "The ending makes you feel like everything is right with the world." I'm so conflicted. I will say, however, that sometimes there are books that I say, "Why did the author do this or that? I would have done it this or that way." I never once thought that while reading this novel.
Three out of five stars. Very well written, interesting, and a good ending. I'm so conflicted.

The Extrovert and the Rule-Follower

2011-04-08T15:56:00.003-05:00

Today I babysat my goddaughter, Natalie, for most of the day. Her mother and I have been friends for over twenty years.
At nap time, I couldn't help but laugh when I reminded them that they needed to stop talking and go to sleep. All three of us knew that Shirley was the instigator and Natalie was way too polite to tell her to just shut up already.
It's all so bizarrely familiar.

Richard and the Purple Crayon

2011-04-07T15:53:00.004-05:00

Resemble, much?

Book Review

2011-03-23T23:12:00.005-05:00

The Help by Kathryn Stockett
Synopsis: Three women in 1963 Jackson, Mississippi couldn't possibly be living more different lives. Aibileen, a black maid and nurse for the white Leefolt family has raised seventeen white children. Skeeter, a twenty-two year old white woman returns home after graduating from college to discover that life in Jackson is not what she once thought. And Minny is another black maid and mother of five known for her wonderful cooking and mouthy attitude. These women decide to work on a project so socially offensive, that it literally endangers their lives. This is the story of each of these women, their work together and the strange kinship that blooms between them.

Readability: Not the easiest read. The dialect is challenging, to say the least, and this book is surprisingly long. Or maybe it just felt that way since there were so many words on every single page. (If you read it, you will understand exactly what I mean.)
Predictability: We know what happens in the South in the early sixties, we know how race relations were in Jackson, Mississippi at that time, but that is ALL that is predictable. I was so drawn in and so in love with each of the characters, that it was as if they were real, and just like in real life, you just never know what's around the corner.

Couldn't Put it Down Factor: Here's the thing. This book is completely heart-wrenching. Every word tugs at your heart. It was so intense at times that I longed to put it down just to get a break, only to spend the time I wasn't reading, thinking about what I was missing. To me this is the mark of a truly wonderful novel: it feels as if it lives and breathes on its own, and when you put it down, you are taking the chance of missing something.
Recommend it?: Y.E.S. Hands down, one of the best books I have read in a long time. Perhaps ever. And I've read a lot of books. This novel was gentle, delicate, gut-wrenchingly sad, at times laugh-out-loud funny, and the kind of thing you fall in love with so deeply that you want to wrap it up and protect it under your coat. I admit, I have a thing for historical fiction, but the way Stockett has woven these women's lives together, yet kept them completely separate is, I believe, something to behold. I cried, I laughed, I feared for their lives and safety, I celebrated their victories, and was completely drawn into Southern culture with all the intensity of a Mississippi summer and surprise one-liners of an author who knows we need a break, even if it's only for just a second.

Five out of five stars. No question. I would read it again if I thought I could handle it. Clean language and some violence, though not graphic.

Go out and get it today. Do not stop. Do not pass go.

AIDS

2011-03-21T15:32:00.002-05:00

That's totally the same.

2011-03-15T11:02:00.001-05:00

This St. Patrick's Day, we have a bit of advice when it comes to artificially green-colored beers: Just say no.
Instead, start a new, healthier tradition—sipping spinach through a straw.

Thanks, Bally Weekly Newsletter. Sounds delish.

A neverending source of joy.

2011-03-08T23:42:00.003-06:00

Last week, I was changing Baby Richard's diaper when he reached between his legs and grabbed his Little Gentleman.
His entire face lit up and he looked at me as if to say, "Did you know this was here?!"
Yes. I knew.
I love him.

I did not post this at the BabyBlog. There's a reason for that.

Food for thought.

2011-03-07T16:26:00.003-06:00

Dieting via text message.

Lauren: I don't want to go to the gym.
Erin: You should go. I want to lose two pounds this week. I'm on drive thru lockdown.
Lauren: What if you run through the drive thru?
Erin: See you there at 5:30.
Lauren: K.

Food Mill

2011-03-07T14:07:00.010-06:00

Non-mommy readers: I'm sorry, but this extra long post will probably bore you.

Mothers of more than one son: How do you afford to feed them?!?
My boy eats like it's going out of style. Like there's no tomorrow. Like every meal may be his last. I'm starting to think that he would be content to sit in his high chair all day long as long as I offered him food every ten minutes.
As you can imagine, I've been giving a lot of money to Gerber in order to sustain this growing boy, so I thought I might try something new.
A couple of weeks ago I went out and bought a food mill. I steamed (the heck out of) 6-8 carrots (peels on) and two enormous sweet potatoes (peeled). I then ran them through the food mill and froze them in one ounce portions, which just happen to fit perfectly in ice cube trays. *I am the first mother in the world to think of this.*

Once frozen, I popped them out and put them in two-ounce portions in air-tight containers. They now reside in the freezer. 30 seconds in the microwave and Richard has a meal so filling he can hardly eat an additional jar of fruit (though he TRIES).
I think baby food companies must add quite a bit of water to their food to get a texture that appeals to Baby. Richard was indeed very sad the first time I offered him this new food. I think the issue is texture. I've found that if I add just a little water and a little cereal, it is a lot more palatable to him and he gobbles it up.
The whole project cost me about $3 and two hours (beside the $10 for the food mill). I can't believe I haven't been doing this all along. I ended up with sixteen meals for the Bairn, which alone has been worth the effort. By my calculations, 16 jarred baby food *meals* (at two jars per meal) cost approximately $16, or more, depending on the day. I sincerely wish I had been doing this for the last six months! Now he's almost a year old and about ready to give up baby food! I wanted to post about it so that other mommies don't waste time and money like I did! I will be doing another batch in the next week, and I saw green beans at Aldi last week, so we'll see how that goes. I also have some radishes in the fridge that need to be eaten up. But would that be mean? :) Mixed with cauliflower? Or carrots? I think he'd dig it. I have also used the food mill on things like chicken and wild rice soup. He LOVED it. I still buy jars for going out and green veggies and fruits. At this time of year, green vegetables and most fruits are not cost effective to do myself. And for when we are eating away from home, the convenience of pre-jarred baby food is totally worth it to me.
Have any of my readers done this? I'm open to tips and ideas.

The checkout lady said it happens all the time.

2011-03-01T22:56:00.005-06:00

Last night, Shirley and I went on an adventure to buy a snail for Fishmael's tank.
We had a great time looking at all the fishies, rats, mice, snakes and hamsters at the pet store.
We made our purchases and cruised back around to look at the fish one more time and Shirley promptly wet her pants.
One minute we were watching the eels dance and the next minute she was walking around like a little cowgirl.
I thought it might be a cold ride home for Shirley, but she cheerfully told me all about while sitting on a plastic bag and some paper towels, munching on a dog cookie.

Another VERY close call.

2011-02-18T10:34:00.003-06:00

Erin: Shirley, do you want fish sticks for dinner?
Shirley [looks at Fishmael]: What?! Mama, Fishmael is not a stick! You silly goofy.
Erin [sweating bullets]: Chicken, then! Let's have chicken.

SHIRLEY! NINETY-SEVEN! GO!

2011-02-15T13:39:00.004-06:00

Shirley and I had a very stern talk yesterday about touching outlets. Today, Baby Richard and I had the same talk. Now Shirley feels smug and superior while Baby's feelings are hurt.
I can't help but feel like I'm repeating myself an awful lot. Not to mention, if Shirley is still inclined to touch outlets, and I'm just starting to teach Richard now...I may be saying this for a long time. Follow me?
I am thinking of writing these oft-repeated mom-isms down, almost like a playbook.
For instance,
Rule #1: Obey the first time you are asked.
Rule #2: No whining.
Rule #3: Don't hit.
Rule #4: Don't touch outlets.
So on and so forth...
Then, when I'm in the middle of something, I can just call out, "Shirley! SEVENTEEN!" And she'll jump up and make dinner.

Call me Fishmael.

2011-02-11T15:17:00.008-06:00

Meet the newest member of our family, Fishmael.
We adopted him almost two weeks ago, and he has been a joy and delight ever since! He is a Siamese Fighting Fish or Betta Splendens, and must be in his tank alone, because he won't back down from a fight! He follows my finger all along his tank and puffs himself up as if he's really going to get me.
I really felt inclined to get a Betta because they are so abused in pet stores. There are many misconceptions about Betta fish, because they are a very hardy fish and thereby hard to kill. They essentially have a lung that they use in addition to their gills and take a lot of oxygen from the surface of the water. Because of this, they are able to live in putrified, polluted, ammonia-water long after any other fish would have died. Because of this, many people think they can thrive in small bowls of water with little or no oxygen, when what really happens is that they burn to death in their own ammonia waste products.
Another common false belief is that Bettas can live in a bowl underneath a water plant and will eat off its roots. This also is not true. Bettas need protein to survive, and a plant offers no protein, so they slowly starve to death in planted bowls, in slightly less disgusting water. A starved Betta will nibble at the roots of any plant, looking for food, but don't be deceived! A Betta needs clean, oxygenated water and a high-protein diet in teeny, tiny portions. I am so happy to offer a better home to this beautiful creature of God.
Anyway, meet Fishmael. :)

And then I broke out in cold sweat.

2011-02-10T19:30:00.004-06:00

Shirley: Daddy, I can have more chicken?
Richard: Sure, but this isn't chicken. This is...
Erin: Don't do it.
Rich: ...PIG!
SJ: What?
Erin: Nooooo...not tonight.
SJ: Daddy! This is meat.
Rich: No, it's pig.
Erin: Richard! Stop it! NOT. TONIGHT.
SJ: Daddy, stop. You silly.
Rich: Ok, Shirley, you're right. It's chicken.
SJ: No, Daddy. There's no animals. This is meat!
Erin: Yes! It's meat.
Rich: It's meat.
SJ: Yummmmmy. I can have dip?

Vision Board: Better late than never!

2011-02-09T14:54:00.004-06:00

At the beginning of the year, Lauren and her co-workers had an assignment to create vision boards that show their goals and aspirations for the new year, and share them in a staff meeting.

Instead of grumbling about the assignment, Lauren threw herself in to the project and loved every minute of it. (This is one of Lauren's most admirable qualities, if you ask me.)

She was so inspired by this project that she helped me make a vision board for 2011.

I admit, I thought it was sort of silly, but once we got going, I really enjoyed myself! I am proud of my vision board and hope I reach all of my goals represented on it.

Click to enlarge.

It was a really fun project, and very fun to see my goals on paper. If you have specific goals for the new year, maybe you could make one! If you do, be sure to post a comment and share it with me.

Quiet Time

2011-02-05T20:01:00.001-06:00

I was reading in The Bible the other day about a prophecy regarding a great contest expected to take place in about the year 2011.
The prophecy read something about how God had ordained the outcome of a contest watched by the entire world whereby a race of giant men covered in green with yellow markings and cages on their heads surrounded by people wearing dairy products triumphed in something called The Great Bowl XLV over a tribe from the east who were all dressed in black and were surrounded by a wild an unwashed group of people waving rags.
After the contest was over, darkness covered the face of the earth over all the area of the tribe from the east but the sun shined bright over the land of the tribe from the west. So bright, in fact, that the ice and snow melted and the land was eternally freed from the ice prison that held it until now. There was rejoicing in the land of the green men but there was bitterness, weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth in the land of the black covered men. God was happy for the green men and sad for the black covered men, but he saw that His work was good and that justice had been done.
He then turned the following year to smite a tribe called Vikings.

I can’t remember the reference but I’m sure I read it in Isaiah. What do you suppose it means?

Someone should do a study.

2011-02-03T02:10:00.004-06:00

Is the concept of "sleeping through the night" an American thing? Do African women in huts get up two or three times a night with their children? How about Cambodian women? Turkish or Japanese women? Do they embrace the fact that they will never sleep again once they have children? What about Irish women? Is six hours of sleep in two-hour increments a gift to them? Iran? Mexico? Idaho?
Everyone I know has one goal: sleeping through the night.
"Is he sleeping through the night?" "Oh, she sleeps through! Good for you!" "How often is he up in the night?" "If you [do this] she will sleep through the night." These are all very common phrases to the parents of a new baby...in MY culture.
What I want to know is: are we the weirdos? Is this a major topic of conversation for mommies in other countries and cultures?
I'm just saying if this is my life, I at least want to belong to a culture where everybody else feels like shit, too.

The Big D: You do the math.

2011-01-31T13:43:00.004-06:00

I take 20,000iu of vitamin D per day. (That may seem like a lot, but it works for me.)
I am almost out of my current bottle, so last night I stopped at Wal-Mart to pick up some more. I didn't think to look at the capsule dosages and just grabbed a double pack (on sale!).
When I got home I realized that I bought two bottles of 1,000iu capsules.
That works out to 20 pills per day.
So not gonna happen. I better find my receipt.

The Potatoes have eyes!

2011-01-28T22:55:00.003-06:00

Daddy has so defiled Mrs. Potato Head that Shirley will not

*will not*

touch her.

Are you ready for some football?

2011-01-25T20:43:00.002-06:00

At lunch today with a friend, I was waiting my turn in line listening to two men talk about the Super Bowl.
An older man turned to me and said, "I am not a sports fan. I don't even know what they're talking about!"
I said, "Oh, man. I'm sorry. You don't even speak the language, do you?"
He laughed and agreed with me. He listened to the men again for a second and said, "Every year it surprises me that this REALLY means something to some people."
I didn't know what to say...on the one hand, I wanted to appear empathetic, but at the same time...it means something to me. Now, I'm not saying the outcome of the Super Bowl has a whole lot of impact on my life, but I do care!
Who woulda thunk it?

Book Review

2011-01-11T15:59:00.005-06:00

Garden Spells by Sarah Addison Allen
Synopsis: Claire Waverly has a nice life set up for herself inside the walls of her garden, using the plants inside for her hugely successful catering company. When her sister shows up with a five-year-old daughter, after being gone for ten years, her security is threatened.
Readability: Super quick and easy. Imaginative and fun, though, so not boring.

Predictability: Well...I knew how it would end, but I didn't know how we would get there. I have to say, I wish the author hadn't wrapped things up so...predictably. A little more imagination and a few more chapters, and this really could have been a masterpiece. It felt like Allen didn't want to work that hard. That being said, she laid out the puzzle pieces in a way that I could see them, but couldn't put them together without her help. ...Ok, truth be told, I could have, and I would have done it differently, but that didn't keep me from devouring every single word.
Couldn't Put it Down Factor: I read the whole thing in five hours. I LOVED it. Loved every word. Total, pure enjoyment.
Recommend it?: YES! Yes! YES! Be warned, however, there is limited vocabulary, and some sex and some violence. Nothing compared to the last Grafton novel I read, though. There are a couple pretty grown up scenes in this one, though, folks. That being said, I LOVED this book. I can't wait to read SAA's other novels.
Four out of five stars. Loved it for its creative context, but wish she had taken it another step further. Left me wanting more, but only because I enjoyed it so much.

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-25T16:45:00.002-06:00

Well, we DO have the biggest brains.

2010-12-15T10:08:00.005-06:00

If humans are truly superior mammals, how come you never see a puppy, baby seal, or even a baby monkey wedged under the couch, screaming bloody murder with his feelings crushed because he's gotten himself into another fine mess? I've also (personally) never seen a kitten try with all its might, for days and days, to eat the vacuum cleaner or the bathroom garbage can.
I'm just thinking out loud here.

Hallelujah!

2010-12-10T18:37:00.000-06:00

This made me imagine the streets of heaven.
Merry Christmas!

A Conspiracy

2010-11-30T23:17:00.003-06:00

Have you ever noticed that the cream cheese to bagel ratio is never equal?
There is always more than enough cream cheese in the package to cover the six bagels, but not enough to cover twelve bagels.
I'm just saying.

A Week of Thanks: The Finish Line

2010-11-28T01:25:00.004-06:00

On Thursday of this week, I was incredibly thankful for a lot of things. For my family, for my friends, for my sweet, beautiful children. But more specifically, I was most thankful for finishing a race. In September, I did a lot of research about local fitness centers. Who had the most to offer? Who had the best price? Who would best meet my needs? I got all my questions answered and discussed with Richard. I am so thankful that he agreed that I could sign up to join the gym. Since then, I have worked hard, training for the Turkey Day 5K in Minneapolis. Again, I am thankful for Richard's generosity, because any time I was at the gym meant I wasn't at home.
So, on Thursday morning, I got up very (VERY) early and rode down to Minneapolis with my sweet friend, Sarah. Oh, how thankful I am for her! We have been friends for 24 years. She has been a part of my life for my whole life. And together, we "ran" 3.1 miles together in the freezing cold. What a joy!
On Friday, I was thankful for friendships once again. Mom, Naomi and I went out with the crazed shoppers on Black Friday. None of us spent a whole lot, but going on an adventure of that kind with two of my best friends is more than I could hope for. What's more? I bought new jeans. New. Jeans. Catch my drift? Wahoo! All that time at the gym is paying off!
Today, the finish line for the Week of Thanks, I am so thankful for my loving family. My sister worked so hard to prepare a gorgeous meal for all of us. (And most of it was gluten-free!) We got to spend precious time together laughing and talking, and watching Shirley show off.
So, the Week of Thanks comes to a close. I will try not to stop being thankful. You do the same. Deal? Deal.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.
-Psalm 100:4

A Week of Thanks: Wednesday

2010-11-24T18:53:00.003-06:00

Today I am thankful that I was able to make it to the grocery store before the snow started flying and everybody got off of work. I would not want to be out in that madness right now!
I am also thankful for a husband who provides and enables me to host a dinner for our family. I'm looking forward to having them over to celebrate the first leg of our Thanksgiving weekend.

Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever! 1 Chronicles 16:34

A Week of Thanks: Tuesday

2010-11-24T18:48:00.002-06:00

Yesterday I was thankful for forgiveness, Coca-Cola, and vitamin D capsules.
Take from that what you will.

A Week of Thanks: Monday

2010-11-23T14:21:00.001-06:00

Yesterday, I was thankful for rest. And Netflix.
So there.

A Week of Thanks: Sunday

2010-11-22T00:10:00.003-06:00

Tonight, I am thankful for all the hard work I did last week to get ready for our company to come this weekend. Because of that hard work, my house is still clean enough for me to relax and veg out after our fun, albeit exhausting weekend.
I know that doesn't seem like much, but an evening of reprieve from the daily uphill battle is greatly appreciated.
Looking forward to the week ahead.
I am also very thankful for new friendships made, old friendships nurtured, and grandparents who will sit in our living room until three o'clock in the morning because we are stuck in an ice storm on the 35W bridge.

Dirty it up!

2010-11-08T13:27:00.003-06:00

Last week, a large amount of tomato juice got spilled in the fridge. Before that, it was half a bottle of RED wine. Before that a quart of milk.
I finally decided that just wiping out the spills was no longer sufficient, so I took the whole bottom shelf apart and ran the drawers through the dishwasher, then scrubbed down the glass shelf and plastic parts. It was disgusting, but high time.
Now?
My fridge is SO CLEAN, that I can't slide anything in or out of the bottom shelf! I go to slide in a pan of lasagna and it sticks on the super clean glass! I'm thinking I need some surf board wax to be able to slide the huge juice jug in and out.
Or maybe I should just dump some milk and a handful of dirt in there and let it do its thing.

Shelter from the storm.

2010-11-06T12:43:00.003-05:00

As a kid, just could not figure out what those cute playhouses were for at the end of people's driveways out in the country. So I finally asked. Turns out, they're not playhouses. They're for kids to wait for the school bus in a place to get safely out of the frigid weather. What a disappointment.
I was probably nine or ten when I figured it out, and at the time I thought, "We live in such a cold part of the world that kids need shelter to get on the school bus? It's dangerous waiting for the bus? WHY do we live here?"
Just a little pre-winter memory I thought I'd share.

28!

2010-11-04T22:19:00.004-05:00

While I worked out tonight, I watched two girls goofing around, daring each other to lift weights, racing each other on the treadmills, that kind of thing. I guessed them to be either seniors in high school or freshman in college. Somewhere in the 17-19 range, possibly older, but definitely not younger. (This information will be important later.)
Over all I had a really good night at the gym tonight. I reached a personal goal that I really thought would take at least another month. I lost two more pounds. I can feel myself getting stronger and more confident by the day. Lots of milestones all around.
After my fantastic work out, I was literally smiling on my way into the locker room, thrilled with my progress, just ACHING for someone to tell.
I was washing up in the when one of the girls I had noticed earlier said to me, "Hey, are you Bella's mom?"
I said, "No, why? Is someone crying in the nursery?"
She said, "No, uh...Bella's my friend."
Now, I ask you, interweb.
Am I so frumpy that I could so easily be mistaken for a 40+ mother? REALLY? I don't try too hard to be stylish when I go to the gym, but maybe it's time to start. I don't mean to offend my 40+ readers, but COME ON. I am TWENTY-EIGHT years old.
Oh well. I guess she saved me from getting a big head or something.

Comforteater

2010-11-03T11:01:00.006-05:00

(Alternate title: Bally Belly)
(Alternate title: Erin the Comfort Eater: MINDFREAK)

To me, a comfort and reward eater, it is the absolute epitome of Cruel (with a capital C) that my gym shares a parking lot with two fast food "restaurants" and my favorite grocery store.
The mind games have gotten completely out of control. It doesn't help when my legs feel like jelly and I can hardly walk...in my weakened state my will power doesn't stand a chance, so it typically hides its head in the sand.
Walking to the car, it's like there's a good angel and a bad angel on my shoulder.
Bad Angel: You worked hard. You deserve a treat.
Good Angel: You did work hard, but a treat won't help.
BA: You burned 700 calories today. Plus the 500 for breastfeeding. You can have a little something.
GA: Go home and make a little something. It will still be half the calories and they won't be empty calories.
BA: You know how good it will taste. You deserve it.
GA: Food isn't the Ultimate Comforter. Run to Jesus instead of food.
BA: Jesus doesn't taste as good as a Frappuccino.

It's hard to argue with that.

For your reference: "Outside" is now called "Commando."

2010-10-18T21:37:00.003-05:00

Erin: Shirley, let's put on your underpants.
Shirley: NO!
Erin: Ok, how about a diaper?
Shirley: NO!
Erin: Well it has to be one or the other.
Shirley: NO!
Richard: Do you want to go commando?
Shirley: YEAH! Let's go commando, Daddy! Take her! Take her commando! Let's go!

It's good to know where you're at.

2010-10-17T00:03:00.003-05:00

The other night, Richard and I went to visit some friends who had a baby. We rode separately so he could take the daddy out for wings (a long-standing tradition in our circle).
I texted him while he was out, "That was fun. Let's have another."
He replied, "Beer?"

Hospitality

2010-10-12T12:03:00.003-05:00

The window on our deck door is very difficult to open, so I've just been keeping the door propped open to allow fresh air into the house. I figure this way, any mice who've waited til the last minute to confirm their living arrangements for the winter can just come on in.

New Recipe

2010-10-05T11:11:00.002-05:00

Erin: I think that was probably the worst dinner I have ever made us.
Richard: No comment.
E: Ha! I know it. [longpause] Wait. Are you saying 'no comment' because you can think of something worse? Or are you saying 'no comment' because you don't want to hurt my feelings my not agreeing with me?
R: No comment.
E: No! You have to tell me. I can't think of anything worse than what we ate tonight, but if I'm wrong, I need to know!
R: [longpause] I just don't ever want to have that again.
E: Ok.

The Day My Brain Stopped Working

2010-10-03T22:37:00.003-05:00

I needed to return some things to a popular children's store. I should have done it much sooner, but the truth is, I forgot. So, today, Mom and I headed to the mall to make my returns. I was anticipating a fairly large amount of cash for the clothing in my bag, but I wasn't too excited about it--I just had a plan. A plan to return the clothes, get the cash, deposit the cash. Bing, bang, boom. No worries. Easy peasy.
So...I'm chatting with the sales girl, she's scanning things, you know. And she says, "You know this is going to be in merchandise credit, right?"
I said, "Uh, no. That's not right. Cash was paid for these items. I'd like the cash back, please."
She said, "Well, since they were purchased more than 60 days ago, you can only get a merchandise credit."
I said, "Shoot. That's not what I thought would happen."

And then time stood still.

I literally did not know what to do. Return the clothes? Keep the clothes? Take the gift card? Throw a temper tantrum?
So, I said, "Isn't there anything you can do about this? Who is the manager?"
She said, "I'm the manager."
I said, "So, isn't there anything you can do about this?"
She said, "You can have the phone number for customer service...?"
I said, "Will customer service tell you to give me my money back?"
She said, "No."
I said, "Then, no thank you."

And then time stood still.

I still did not know what to do. My brain just could. not. figure. this. one. out.
While she stared at me, I literally closed my eyes and tried to SEE the right answer. It did not appear.
Finally my mom came over, "Is everything ok?"
I explained the situation to her and told her to just tell me what to do.
We ended up keeping the outfit that will still fit Shirley and took a merchandise credit for the rest of the clothing.
Later I said to my mom, "I'm really sorry, Mom. I thought it was safe to go in public again. Clearly I was wrong."
Let the record show: I made the wrong choice. I am returning the rest of the clothes tomorrow. Hopefully the cashier will be fluent in Post-Partum-PMS-Exhausted-Mommy-Speak. (Yes, that's a real condition.)

Urban Experiment: Fail.

2010-09-28T01:20:00.004-05:00

This is the only tomato I harvested from my TopsyTurvy planter this year (and it ripened on my counter).

Maybe next year I should water the damn thing.

Make a Wish

2010-09-27T14:43:00.004-05:00

Yesterday at the football game, Richard said, "If I was dying or got cancer or something, and I got one wish, I would want to run out about ten yards, then cut right, and have Brett Favre throw me the ball as hard as he could, so I could see what it felt like, just one time. I hope he would break all my fingers."

Praise the Lord for non-stick cooking spray.

2010-09-16T22:50:00.002-05:00

Dear Past Erin,
A word of advice:
Don't leave the dough for the rolls in the oven to rise and then take a two-hour nap.
All my love,
Future Erin

Sweet Home...

2010-09-10T14:17:00.009-05:00

Turns out, you can go home again...but it's weird.
I had the sweet privilege of going to my ten-year high school reunion in Decatur, Alabama two weeks ago. It was fantastic.
Have you ever gone back to a place with which you used to be intimate? It's hard. And strange. Things are very different, but at the same time nothing has changed. More than anything, YOU are changed, which makes everything look bigger, smaller, more beat up, less vivid, more colorful, newer, older...
Overall, I'm very glad I went. It was very emotional--the time we spent in Alabama was pivotal for our family, for my faith. It was very difficult to move down there (especially half way through high school), but absolutely God's plan for us, and I am so thankful for what he had planned for us--for me--in the Deep South. A lot of those emotions came rushing back when I had lunch with my friends, and toured my old stomping grounds. I'm just so thankful that I was able to remember the place with joy and a new understanding, and especially with fondness and familiarity.

Leslie, Kerry, Randall, ME, Leonard, Heather

Turning this corner felt really weird. Our house.

Our high school sign. :)Old friends.

What's mine is mine...and I DON'T share fries!

2010-08-31T21:22:00.004-05:00

Erin: Hey, do you want the other half of this waffle?
Richard: Only if you aren't gonna eat it.
E: No. I don't want it.
R: Are you sure?
E: Yes! I wouldn't have offered it otherwise.
R: I'm really fine. If you're still hungry, go ahead.
E: I really don't want it. I don't often offer food off my plate out of the goodness of my heart if I'm still hungry.

Many of you can attest to the probable truth of this conversation based on personal experience.

Hot Dog: An Ethical and Gravitational Crisis

2010-08-24T11:59:00.006-05:00

At about 4:00 this morning, I became aware that someone was whining and wimpering. Also, that I had been hearing it for quite a while. Hours, possibly. I listened for a minute to discern which child it was, and determined that it was canine in nature and coming from the dining room.
I shook Richard's shoulder and asked hhim to go check it out.
Pedro was trapped on the dining room table.
When he saw Richard approaching, his fear of punishment outweighed his fear of heights and he launched himself off the table, and bolted under our bed. (Small dog, short legs, tall table. You can imagine how it went...)
How often does Pedro trap himself on the dining room table?
Why did he get stuck last night, and (apparently) never before?
If it has happened before, on average, how long is he trapped? When he hears someone get up in the middle of the night or the garage door opening, does he panic and finally find the "courage" to get down?
Why couldn't he get down the same way he got up?
Seems to me that Pedro was suffering a gravitational crisis, in addition to making some poor moral choices that his walnut-sized brain just couldn't reason out. I am inclined to set up a hidden camera tonight and leave a great, big, steaming bratwurst in the middle of the table. Just to see what happens.

Just try it.

2010-08-20T22:33:00.000-05:00

Go to http://maps.google.com/.
Search for “Eleva, WI.”
Zoom in 3 times.
Pan left 2 times.
Pan up 6 times.
Click on “satellite” within the map.

You know you want to.

Carcass

2010-08-09T12:08:00.002-05:00

My home is the place watermelons come to die.

Book Review

2010-08-04T01:08:00.005-05:00

T is for Trespass by Sue Grafton
Synopsis: Kinsey Millhone is hired to do a background check on her neighbor, Gus's, full-time-care nurse, which she completes and approves. It's not until things start to look pretty bad for old Gus that Kinsey realizes she may have overlooked something.
Readability: In short? I have baby brain, and I didn't have any trouble at all.

Predictability: You know how I love a surprise. We know from the beginning what's going to have to happen in the end...make sense? BUT, it's the bumps and bounces along the way that kept me guessing HOW it would all work out. I'm telling you, Grafton hasn't raised my blood pressure like that in a long time. Probably in the last four "alphabet" books. Really. At about 2am, Richard came out to the living room to find me reading. "Are you coming to bed?" he asked. "NOT! RIGHT! NOW!!!!" I shrieked. Once you get to the last five or six chapters, there's no stopping. For real.
Couldn't Put it Down Factor: Couldn't put it down? I still can't stop thinking about it. I finished it last week.
Recommend it?: I do, but only if you are already a friend of Kinsey Millhone. There were some things in this one that were pretty shocking and a little bit gory. I have a very hard time with violence of any kind, and there was one scene in this mystery that wasn't very palatable. Nevertheless, I really enjoyed this one. You know when you get so involved in a book that you are IN it? That's how I felt. I want to go back and visit...but that seems like it would be silly, since the book isn't actually alive and nothing will have changed since the last time I put it down.
Three and a half out of five stars. For violence and repetitive dialogue. (Come on Sue. Mix it up a little bit.)

Well, that's that.

2010-07-28T11:35:00.001-05:00

Erin: I don't GET you.
Richard: Yeah? I don't get you either.

Bedtime

2010-07-20T00:15:00.003-05:00

When you're commenting on Facebook, laughing at your own cleverness and wit as if you're the funniest person you know, one of two things is probably true:
1. You ARE the funniest person you know.
OR,
2. It's time to go to bed.

I'm the funniest
person I have ever met.
Sweet dreams, interweb.

Baby Dedication

2010-07-14T23:19:00.002-05:00

Baby Richard is going to be publically dedicated to God at our church on Sunday morning, July 18, 2010 during the 10:30 service. We would be honored if you would join us for this very special service.

Steamed veggies, anyone?

2010-07-14T22:32:00.002-05:00

Directions: Cut down vegetables (preferably a kind that no one likes) to bite sizes. Fill pan with approximately one inch of water. Place steam tray in pan and pile with veggies. Boil over high heat. Forget on stove.

Curious

2010-07-06T02:54:00.003-05:00

Erin: How does this one end? I've seen the beginning like ten times, but never the end.
Richard: Oh, you know. There's a misunderstanding. George gets in trouble. George saves the day.