I'm probably never going to blog on the weekend. Just like I don't check my email on the weekend, just like I don't answer my phone on the weekend. I like to keep my friends and relatives always wanting more.
Speaking of wanting more, I work with a woman, who shall remain nameless, who insists on speaking in "Baby Talk" most of the time. To me, to her boss, to our co-workers. And she just celebrated her 50th birthday. Let me assure you, there is nothing cute about this. When someone comes to your cube and says over the top, "Tood we go to da tafederia?," it's not cute. I promise. Or, please notice 3 things about the following statement:
"Me no like no cheese."
1. She actually doesn't like cheese.
2. DOUBLE NEGATIVE.
3. Not cute.
I don't understand it. I like her well enough--ok, that's not true. She is tolerable until the baby talk starts. Then I want to die. Or run screaming from the office, tearing my clothes from my body as I go.
And what does she expect? Should I be baby talking BACK? Should I confront her about it--host an intervention? I haven't had the nerve to bring this observation up to anyone else within our office, but I suspect that if I did, there would be ...opinions to share.
I fear that now we're to the point where there is nothing I can do. I've let it go on so long now that surely she thinks it's ok. Like letting the dog chew on shoes for the first 6 months of his life, and then suddenly yelling at him to stop. Imagine how confusing that could be for a puppy, let alone a baby talker.
Today's haiku is entitled, "Baby Talk"
Baby Talk
you're too old for this
stop talking to me like that
I like you, but stop.
I just spilled coffee all over myself--laughing at my own haiku. I'd say we can call that karma.
I think that everyone in some way wants to be like a baby. I know I do. Mostly because I have to get up 2 times each night to pee.
ReplyDeleteearly and tired
don't have to get out of bed
ooh! that is so warm!
Richard! Who knew you had such talent???
ReplyDeleteWe are soul mates.
Thank GOD! Wouldn't THAT be embarassing...
She is 50?! Holy cats. I don't know why that is a surprise. I mean I thought maybe mid-40's, which isn't that far off. Anyway...aside from the baby talk thing, who doesn't like cheese? How can a person write off what to me consitutes an entire food group? Back to the subject at hand - baby talk. The pscychologist side of me wonders if she uses the baby talk as a defense mechanism to hide nervousness and/or discomfort. But then I think maybe she just thinks that it is cute. Or maybe...she doesn't realize she is doing it at all. What must her children think?
ReplyDeleteMother you
Not a baby now
But inside never grew up
Seems you never will
Oh man, if I comment, do I have to write a Haiku?! (Note overuse of commas) I wanted to leave you a comment, cause I know how happy it makes people to get comments. It sure makes me happy. What's a haiku anyways?
ReplyDeleteThat's my sister
She likes to use commas
EVERYONE likes cheese
this poem is
random
Poetry never was my thing..
Erin, I love your haiku! Who knew haiku plural was haiku?
ReplyDeleteWhat if I love them all and you never know because it sounds like I only like one?
Interesting words that
are the same one or two or
three or four or more.
Nope, I'm no good at this either. I'll leave it to you.
I like Mandi's poem best. I just don't get haiku. Rich, such personal feelings in your poetry. I thought you were getting up to take the puppy out! lovemom
ReplyDelete