I'm going to design a t-shirt.
Here's the text:
WARNING: I'm about to say socially inappropriate things to you. I'm that lady who talks too much and makes you borderline uncomfortable. I just want you to know that I know. Cut me some slack. I haven't been out of the house in nine days. N.I.N.E. D.A.Y.S. My great-grandma says, "Spring will come," but to be honest, this year, I'm not so sure! Haha!! Speaking of which, can you believe this cold weather?? My skin is so dry, I'm afraid to shave my legs--I'm afraid I'd spark and cause a forest fire! Anyway, this is the first time in a very long time that I've come in contact with a grown-up with whom I haven't exchanged vows. I'm so serious right now. No. Seriously. And my blogfriends are great, but they don't count for face-to-face time, you know? I know you're only 19, and the check-out girl at Target and you can't get away from me, but please. Please. Do you like my hair? How about my outfit? What are you having for dinner tonight? I haven't decided what we're having yet. Shirley likes sweet potatoes. I call her my little Sweet Potato. Do you like Obama? Do you have plans for the SuperBowl? Do you live around here? Anyway... It was nice to meet you.
And on the back:
Paper please.
7 comments:
That's awesome. You captured the essence of Lonely Mom so perfectly. I started my job a week ago and I've been trying to control myself and not talk my coworker's ears off... I too am aware of myself :)
Y'know what would be great? If stores like Target and Wally Mart had a little place where you could walk in (like those little walk in clinics in Cub) and just talk to somebody. We should start that, we could make a fortune.
I would like to order one please.
Hi, it's so quiet in here. I bet you like that. Did you get a break yet? What time do you get off? That will be nice. Thank you so much.
I used to lie in wait for the poor mailman. I'm sure that's why he moves so cautiously around the old neighborhood, now.
I thought Mr. Rogers way MY best friend. lovemom
Walk in, meet other grown ups while your children play in the little, very clean play area that has an attendant wearing a red smock with huge pockets that contain all the mommy gear in them..because she's filling in for just a few minutes...while we chat. Love it.
LOL! Perfectly said!!
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