Misshapen

I am finally able to write about this without crying, cussing or grimacing (mostly).
Four to six weeks ago, I went to get my eyebrows threaded (if you don't know what that means, google it).
Now, let me just say that getting my eyebrows done is a pretty frivolous expense for me since I really don't have a lot of eyebrows to work with. Essentially, my eyebrows are clear. BUT, I can't see to do my own very well (because I am 70 years old), so it's nice to put my face in the hands of a professional.
So...like I said, four to six weeks ago, I went to get my eyebrows threaded. We had walked around the mall with some friends and stopped for a treat at McDonald's (for Shirley: a strawberry milkshake and for me: an iced coffee) on our way to the eyebrow threading place.
Upon arriving, I told Shirley not to spill her ice cream and please be quiet, we'll be done in a minute, right before I spilled most of my enormous iced coffee all over the floor.
The threading lady said, "There is a SIGN! No food allowed!"
I said, "I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!"
She said, "There's a SIGN! You spilled your coffee on the floor!"
I said, "I'm so sorry!"
She said, "THERE'S A SIGN!"
I said, "I didn't see the sign! I'm so sorry!"
She said, "NO FOOD ALLOWED!"
I said, "Well, it's TOO LATE NOW! Do you want me to clean it up or WHAT?"
She then proceeded to hand me ONE paper towel.
From there, the details are hazy, but I distinctly remember her snatching the pink milkshake out of stunned Shirley's hand and setting it on a faraway counter.
And after that, I got in her chair and let her decimate my face.
I don't know why I did it, but I think I was just so embarrassed and startled that she would shriek at me the way she did that I just got in the chair to make it stop.
So for the last four to six weeks I have had to bear the shame of not seeing the NO FOOD ALLOWED sign and spilling my coffee on the floor ...in the middle of my face.