Someone should do a study.

Is the concept of "sleeping through the night" an American thing? Do African women in huts get up two or three times a night with their children? How about Cambodian women? Turkish or Japanese women? Do they embrace the fact that they will never sleep again once they have children? What about Irish women? Is six hours of sleep in two-hour increments a gift to them? Iran? Mexico? Idaho?
Everyone I know has one goal: sleeping through the night.
"Is he sleeping through the night?" "Oh, she sleeps through! Good for you!" "How often is he up in the night?" "If you [do this] she will sleep through the night." These are all very common phrases to the parents of a new baby...in MY culture.
What I want to know is: are we the weirdos? Is this a major topic of conversation for mommies in other countries and cultures?
I'm just saying if this is my life, I at least want to belong to a culture where everybody else feels like shit, too.

The Big D: You do the math.

I take 20,000iu of vitamin D per day. (That may seem like a lot, but it works for me.)
I am almost out of my current bottle, so last night I stopped at Wal-Mart to pick up some more. I didn't think to look at the capsule dosages and just grabbed a double pack (on sale!).
When I got home I realized that I bought two bottles of 1,000iu capsules.
That works out to 20 pills per day.
So not gonna happen. I better find my receipt.

A Fantastic Realization

I have worn make-up EVERY. DAY. THIS. YEAR.
Go me.

Relax, baby!

Relaxing: A nice, long, hot bath with lavender and chamomile and 150 pages.
Not relaxing: Having to stand up three times to get the shampoo, then the soap, then the conditioner out of the shower caddy.
Even less relaxing: Having to "pump" after my nice, long, hot bath.

Lost then Found

Then lost again.
Then found.
I lost my curling iron. Gone. Disappeared.
I tore the house apart looking for it. Who loses a curling iron? Honestly. I'm ashamed to admit, friends and brethren, that I took the Lord's name in vain.
Finally, I went out and bought a new one. I was so proud of myself. Only $11 to replace it! I was expecting to spend $20!
I brought it home and used it once before it broke. The buttons popped out. Can you believe that? Just popped right out. I couldn't even turn it off. I had to unplug it!
So, I returned it and bought a much fancier curling iron on sale for 50% off! Only $15! I am an amazing shopper.
Then, true to lost-item-buy-a-new-one-to-replace-it form, I found the old curling iron. I discussed it with Richard and decided to return the $15--slash--$30 curling iron (that I had never used yet at this point) to get my money back.
But then we couldn't find it.
So, I went to use the old one.
Couldn't find it either.
Just when I started to think Richard was playing a cruel joke on me, I found both of them.
I think I'll keep them both, just in case.

* * *

This just in: A fancy curling iron will burn your ear just as fast as an old one.

What stained towels?