That's totally the same.

This St. Patrick's Day, we have a bit of advice when it comes to artificially green-colored beers: Just say no.
Instead, start a new, healthier tradition—sipping spinach through a straw.

Thanks, Bally Weekly Newsletter. Sounds delish.  

Top 40

My sister works in the catering industry as a banquet server. The other night she was working at a prom in Minneapolis.
Funnest game ever? Texting my guesses for songs played at the prom.
Believe it or not:
-I got about 50% right.
-Sweet Home Alabama was not on the play list.
-I've been listening to a lot of Top 40 radio lately.

It's always nice to have a reminder.

AI '09

Did American Idol suck this much last year?

Honda for Sale.

It's not every day that you get to start your car and find this:

I got a kick out of it.

Sideways Corduroy Pants

"At last, horizontal corduroy pants. Made in San Francisco and only sold online, Cordarounds are the most aerodynamic pants on earth."
Not to mention, no more thigh-rubbing-induced forest fires!

Answers

1. False. I love Ellen Degeneres. I think she's REALLY funny.
2. True. I do, frequently, wear my pajamas inside out. Tags and seams bother me. Why be uncomfortable?
3. True. I dislike reading poetry. Save for Jenna's and Shakespeare.
4. True. I do enjoy hip hop. I fear, though, that I'm getting too old for it...
5. False. I hate the stupid drummer boy. I want to vote him off the Christmas island.

I just want to say that my pop quiz ALMOST led to the world's most boring comments ever. Thanks to those of you who tried to jazz things up.

Also, Kelli, please go back and re-read the directions. If you chose to re-do, I am willing to give you 70% credit.

Pop Quiz

In honor of school starting, I've decided to give you all a pop quiz. About me. It's true or false. Books closed.

1. I HATE Ellen Degeneres.

2. I wear my pajamas inside out.

3. I dislike reading poetry.

4. I love hip hop.

5. My favorite Christmas carol is "Little Drummer Boy."

Somebody else give us a pop-quiz.

How about:

Kristi

Cara

Swampy

Tag, I'm it.

Ten Years Ago: in June, my family moved from Hudson to Decatur, Alabama where I started my junior year of high school. I was the team captain of the golf team and kicked butt in all my English classes.

My To-Do List Today:
1. Finish the laundry.
2. Pack to leave town.
3. Clean up the house.

Snack that I Enjoy: Anything salty!

Things I Would Do if I was a Millionaire: Pay off debt. Buy a new house with a garage for Richard and a room for MEEEE! Set up SJ for college. Adopt children.

Places I've Lived:
St. Paul, MN
Hudson, WI
Norman, OK
Hudson again.
Decatur, AL
Hudson again.
Eau Claire, WI
(Do we count Little Rock, AR?)
Dalkeith, Scotland
Baldwin, WI
Roseville, MN

Tag! You're It!
Jodi
Kristi
Jessie Jewell
Angie

A couple things.

How does it work that I have run out of soap in EVERY room all at once? Currently on my shopping list: dish soap, dishwasher detergent, laundry detergent, hand soap refill, Johnson's soap.

Operation Clean Out the Freezer in '08 has begun.
Today for lunch I ate a personal pan pizza from 1999.
OK, not that old, but close.
For dinner we are having stuffed shells that Lauren made when the baby was born.

SJ and I are about to head to WalMart to buy SOAP in many different forms, and some new shorts for Mommy, since I currently own ONE pair that I bought my sophomore year in college.
Exactly.

We have taken to taking morning naps. SJ and I lay down every morning around 11 and sleep until 1. I don't know why I am ashamed of this, but I am. I'm hoping that by admitting it publically, I won't feel bad about it anymore.

What's the deal with baby capri pants? What a joke!

I think that's everything I wanted to say for today.

Oh, how about an haiku for old time's sake?

Staying at home and
caring for my hus and girl;
all my dreams are true.

Sister Time

I spent two hours alone with my sister tonight. Among the normal girl stuff we usually talk about, we covered the following:

-The guy who came in to the GAP to try on a bikini.

-The guy who came in to Perkins and asked Lauren if she liked his new breasts.

-The girl at the restaurant last night who tried to lick Lauren. Twice.

-The guy at the golf club who sold his nail salon and gave Lauren ten free nail polish bottles out of the trunk of his car. (This one isn't quite as weird, but when you look at the other things that happens to Lauren, it just sort of fits.)

-Watching a man eat the worm out of the bottom of the bottom of the tequila bottle (OK, mezcal, if we're gonna get technical) and telling Lauren all about the texture--it's more like a grub than a worm, but not as soft as a caterpillar.

And you guys thought my work bathroom stories were crazy.

This girl needs a blog, am I right?

A sickness.

It's 12:19am.
I've been up since 6am.
I did substantial running around today.
I am beyond exhausted, and judging by the way the baby ate about an hour ago (not well), she's going to be up in another hour.
I'm zoning out while sitting here, but I have to stay up JUST long enough to see what everybody blogged about today.
Sick.

How tired am I? I just went to type my username and password in my "Labels" section.
That. Doesn't. Even. Make. Sense.

Freckle Face

This weekend, someone said, "Your baby doesn't have freckles yet. Do you think she will?"
I said, "Oh, probably." Smile.
She said, "I'm sure you just hate them, but I think they're adorable."
I didn't think people said stuff like that unless they were at my place of employment...

Speaking of Green

I calculated our Carbon Footprint today.
Our household produces 20.2 Metric Tons of CO2 per year.
Hunh.

Big Bang Theory

I am home alone.
Richard left on Sunday morning to go to Milwaukee for some business meetings and will return tonight.
My first evening home alone was uneventful. Lauren spent the night with me and I slept soundly.
Last night was a little more interesting.
At 3:30, I heard a very loud BANG followed by Pedro growling. I sat up in bed (positive that by exposing my back to the wall that I was sacrificing any safety I might have had by staying in bed), groped for my glasses and turned on the light. Pedro was still growling and the cat ran for the back door.
WHAT was going on?
After several hours (ok, seconds), I texted Richard (as if he could help me), and stumbled to the bathroom, turning on every light that I passed.
I continued to hear very loud bangs and I was convinced that the boogey man was trying to get in through the roof to steal my baby and leave me for dead (nice, huh? Thanks, local news.).
I left most of the lights burning and went back to bed. Still, bangs were coming from overhead, but Pedro had stopped growling so I began to relax enough to THINK.
That's when I came up with this theory:
The temperature literally went from 35 degrees to 20 degrees below zero over a period of 36 hours. There was a lot of moisture in the air when it warmed up, and I can only imagine in the wooden eaves of our roof. As the temperature dropped quickly, that moisture had to go somewhere, resulting in the loud popping and banging that woke the three of us up.
I'm a freaking genius.

This entire scenario took place over the course of about 4 minutes--one tenth of the time it took me to type it all out.

That ONE Thing

Do you ever have something on your shopping list that you forget repeatedly?

I hit Walmart, Walgreens or Target at least twice a week. Usually more.

There is no excuse for the fact that we are completely out of toothpaste.

We have squeezed every bit out of our full-sized tubes. and two travel sized tubes.

Yet somehow it just doesn't occur to me to pick some up at the store one of the zillions of times I am running in for milk, or yarn, or something else not nearly as important as dental hygiene.

Will somebody please remind me to get some toothpaste this weekend? I have a lot of shopping to do, but you know I'm going to forget.

True Story

For Christmas, Lauren gave Grandma Shirley a pair of house boots, similar to the ones shown here (I found this photo on ebay).

She was wearing them around the house when Gram (almost 102 years old) said to her, "With every step you take, I can see your balls swinging."

-----

*I'm pretty sure she'd kill me if she knew I'd published this, but some things are just too perfect.

3:33

This morning, I woke up at 3:31 to go to the bathroom.
I remember the days when, 1. I didn't wake up in the middle of the night for anything, and 2. Getting out of bed to do anything was EASY. In fact, I remember when doing anything in bed was easy...alas, I digress.
By the time I made it back to bed it was 3:33.
I thought to myself, "Quick, make a wish!"
I wished to be on time for work today.
At 3:34, I thought, "Well that was a waste of a wish."

A puzzle for Kelli

Why is it that the fire alarm always starts beeping its "low battery warning" in the middle of the night?
Have you ever heard the warning before 11pm? Ever?

SURVIVOR - Wisconsin Style

Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, Wisconsin is planning to do its own, entitled "Survivor - Wisconsin Style"
The contestants will start in Milwaukee, travel up to Sheboygan and on to Manitowoc and Green Bay. Then they will head over to Wausau and up to Rhinelander and Minocqua. From there they will proceed up to Ashland and Superior. Then back down through Hayward, Rice Lake, Balsam Lake, Chetek, over to Eau Claire and all the way down to Madison and back over to Milwaukee.
Each contestant will be driving a pink Volvo with Minnesota license plates and a large bumper sticker that reads: Brett Favre is Gay. Hillary in 2008. Deer hunting is murder. Go Vikings.
The first one who makes it back to Milwaukee alive wins.