Dear Troublesome Co-Worker,
Does my blank stare really not do it for you?
Honestly, you're not picking up on any bad vibes? None?
Please stop sitting on my desk.
Please stop touching my stuff. Yes, I have a cool iPod. I also have a cool phone.
No, my purses are not new and were not Christmas presents. Why are you paying attention?
Richard, my husband, likes my hair better down, too. I'll remember that. Thanks.
Actually, I'm not all that studious (though well-read, if I do say so myself). When you're eight and a half months pregnant, you tend to carry some extra fluid, and strangely enough, my contacts don't fit right anymore because of it.
Nope, they're not new glasses.
Um, I've only gained 23 pounds.
What do you weigh?
How's. The. Wife?
Sincerely,
Erin
p.s. I'm fine.
p.p.s. Please pass this on to Dom.
Gentle Reader, lest you be confused, Dom and the Troublesome Co-Worker are NOT the same person. That's right. These guys are my cross to bear. It's been this way my entire life. I've got socially-inept-nice-guy disease. I just can't seem to shake it.
Anyone who catches the reference to Jane Eyre wins a prize.
10 comments:
first, i'm sorry to say i didn't catch the reference (another novel on my long list of "to read"). second, i suggest printing this letter out and actually sending it to him. via paper airplane messenger.
There's more than one? Do they breed in your office? TERROR!
I don't fall into that category do I? when this guy comes to your desk again, call him a walking stool sample and tell him that if he is so desperate for a date, try Dom.
This whole thing is so obnoxious and inappropriate!
I think the "Gentle Reader" reference is from Jane Eyre. The part about the ipod is probably not from Jane Eyre.
Ding, ding, ding!!
We have a winner!
Good work, Kris!
Just where are we on The Countdown to Bye Bye Obnoxious CoWorkers??
Um, what was the prize? The satisfaction of being named the winner?
What can I say? You are the young hottie in the office- even at 81/2 months pregnant. Still hot.
Charlie, You're pretty socially adept and not that nice. You're safe.
Carla, 26 days.
Kris H., I guess I didn't really think of a prize. I'll have to get back to you.
Naomi, Yes, we all know how hot a fat girl is who can't catch her breath. Yow!
Can you mention something to your boss? I would feel very creeped out by this point, not to mention incredibly irritated. How do you get anything done with this guy around? These guys are so clueless.
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