Gulp!

Self-exterminating candle as art:
What? It can be art if I say it's art.

Once Bitten...

Dear Gertrude's Caretaker,
I wasn't harrassing your stupid dog. I was protecting Gertrude from your stupid dog. Remember Gertrude? Who I was visiting because I care about her and her bruised pelvis? (Where WERE you, by the way?)
I had no choice but to bodily grab the dog off of Gertrude who was crying out in pain. Because of this, she bit me so many times that I am bleeding in four places. Still.
A word of advice: when you come home and I tell you what happened, do not--repeat: DO NOT act as if it is my fault that your stupid DILL PICKLE DOG BIT. ME.
I'm really mad at you.
Sincerely,
Erin

Pre-Children Halloween

We really knew how to party way back in 2005.

Ross Perot

I prefer not to talk politics on the internet, but I just can't let this go by.

A friend told me tonight that Ross Perot is lobbying to be on the presidential ballot as an independent party.
Is this true?
Someone, please educate me.
Who would be his running mate? Ron Paul?
Does this guy have an abyss of money?
Can he bail out our economy?


Upon further thought:
Does he also secretly possess a fountain of youth somewhere in his great big house?

Pot

Is a pot really dirty if all you used it for was to cook pasta?

First Day of School

I started American Sign Language 1 last night at a local community college.

It was fantastic.

FANTASTIC.

My professor is deaf, and didn't speak a word for the first hour and a half of class. Can you imagine! I got a good taste of what total immersion would be like, because by the end of the three hour class period, I was able to communicate basic introductions and family information with my classmates.

The most interesting thing I learned is that ASL is a completely different language. It is not English. I never understood that before. That will be the hardest part about the class for me, because the sentence structures are completely different than anything I'm familiar with.

It was hard to be away from the baby. I've never been away from her that long before, but I think it's good for both of us. I guess. This is something I've always wanted to do since I took a sign language class during summer school at EP Rock. I've been reading books about signing with children, and have been signing with SJ for a couple of months. I think she is starting to recognize the sign for "all done," but is not yet able to put it all together.

I was so wound up when I got home last night that at 1am, Richard put his hand over my mouth.

Point taken.

Home Improvements

I'm just laying here enjoying the view of my new curtains.
I finally put one up in the bathroom, too.

And I put these up in the entryway.

Yay, me!

Sideways Corduroy Pants

"At last, horizontal corduroy pants. Made in San Francisco and only sold online, Cordarounds are the most aerodynamic pants on earth."
Not to mention, no more thigh-rubbing-induced forest fires!

Facebook Brain

Erin is baking cupcakes.
Erin should go to bed.
Erin didn't realize it was 3am.
Erin thinks people who said rice cereal would help SJ sleep through the night are full of crap.
Erin wants new curtains.
Erin wants new carpet.
Erin wants a clean kitchen floor.
Erin wants to throw away her house and get a new one.
Erin thinks she might start improving her current house one flat surface at a time.
Erin could go for a coke.
Erin is laying awake staring at the ceiling, thinking about what Erin is doing right now.
Erin is wondering how much longer this will last.
Erin is tired of being stuck in third person and blames Facebook.
Erin thinks she might have a problem.

A Good Day

So far, today has been a very good day--and it's only half over!

At the Mall of America, the Christian Fiction Writers Association had a book signing. There were 120 Christian Fiction Writers there, among whom was one of my favorite authors, Tosca Lee.

Tosca is a friend of my Aunt Kris, and she and I have exchanged email on several occasions, but I had not yet had the chance to meet her. She wrote a book last year called Demon: a Memoir, that stands alone in the relatively sucky world of Christian Fiction. It was really fun to get to meet her because, like I said, she stands out. If I were to write a book, I would want it to be on the edge and make people think the way Tosca's does. Too many Christian books are sugary sweet and don't deal with real issues and spiritual battle. Tosca is not afraid to go there, which I greatly appreciate.

I have not yet written a review on Demon, but I think I will in the near future. It is up for the AFCW 2008 Book of the Year. Good luck, Tosca!

I also got to meet John B. Olson who was one of the writers for Ben Stein's Expelled that came out earlier this year in theaters. Verrrry cool.

Confession

Today, on the way home from the doctor's office, I pulled up to a stoplight. At the same time, I reached behind me to give Shirley Jean her pacifier. Somehow, in doing so, I LAID on the horn.
Scared myself so bad I peed a little.

Oil Diddy

This made me laugh and cry at the same time.
Source:
TIME Magazine.
Vol. 172, No. 11, 2008, page 16.

My Heroes

Question:

Are men truly unafraid of mice, or do they just pretend for our benefit?

Thank you, Grandpa Bob, Richard and Pedro for rescuing me from my mouse today.

Kitty, you are a worthless beast. In fact, I would be willing to bet good money (that could happily be spent on something else like coffee or a new outfit for the baby) that you probably brought the mouse IN the house.

ZAP!

This is for Brandy.

Where you lead, I will follow...

This morning I said to Richard, "Have you noticed that when the living area is cleaned up, the bedrooms are a mess, and when the bedrooms are cleaned up, the living area is a mess?"
He said, "I think the mess is wherever you are."

Stop me if you've heard this one...

Dear Past Erin,
Bring more than $60 to Aldi's.
Seriously.
Sincerely,
Future Erin

Book Review

Atonement by Ian McEwan
Synopsis: England, summer of 1935. The world is on the verge of its second world war. Thirteen-year-old Briony views, from her bedroom window, a puzzling scene, then is privy to a turn of events, which she very seriously misunderstands. The novel takes us through most of Europe and World War II. I fear I've already said too much.

Readability: Hard to get into at first (in my opinion due mostly in part to the fact that it harkens a little too much to Virginia Woolf [ahem]), but completely captivating, nevertheless. Even when I had trouble getting into it, I still couldn't stop thinking about it.

Predictability: To the bitter, bitter end, I had absolutely no idea what was going to happen. Talk about twists and turns!

Couldn't Put it Down Factor: Let me paint a picture for you. It took me a full week to read the first 100 pages. I read the remaining 400 pages in 36 hours. I exaggerate not.

Recommend it?: YESSSSSSSSSSS! Be warned, however, that part of Briony's misunderstanding revolves around a very, VERY bad word. Truly shocking. In fact, I thought, "Why would the author DO that??" And then, as I kept reading (because I couldn't stop), it all became clear. Regardless, I would hate to recommend a book only to offend someone... There is some other colorful language, but less than is in most movies these days.
Overall Rating: Four and a half stars. Minus one half because I just can't bear to give it a perfect five. Yes, I would be that kind of teacher.

The Movie: Love, love, LOVED it! L.O.V.E.D. it. Lovedit. DO read the book first. You'll enjoy the movie either way, but it was so nice to "hear" the actors thoughts, ifyouknowwhatimean.

In Two: My Own Lament

Warning: This post contains the ugly contents of my heart.

An unexpected song that I had never heard brought me to my knees tonight in the car.
I don't know why, but I guess I thought I was the only one who had the power to tear her husband apart with her words.
I know there are exceptions to this rule, but many men are not able to do as much damage as quickly as I can, and with as little effort. Certainly not Richard.
And why don't we talk about it? When was the last time I said to a girlfriend, "I disrespected my husband today and tore him down in a way that only I can."? I so desire to banish this sort of thing from my attitude toward the man I married, but still, I snarl and snap without thinking twice. More often than I care to admit.
And it's just so commonplace to humiliate and belittle. Women do it ALL. THE. TIME. After it happens, I am embarrassed and disgusted, and have to seek forgiveness from my husband, but still, I'll do it again. Why can't I control my tongue? I long to use my words to build him up--not tear him down.

Here's the song that touched me so much tonight. It's something to think about, anyway:

In Two (The Lament), by Jennifer Knapp
Finish up your coffee, love
it's getting cold
let's finish up this fight tonight
before the sun draws nigh and I'm old

Have mercy on me I'm a girl
though I'm cruel and you cry
I won't shiver cause I know how to break a man
I know how to break a man in two

Still you're suffering, my love
o, who's to blame?
you might be tired,
but I'm not through fanning the flame

Have mercy on me I'm a girl
though I'm cruel and you cry
I won't shiver cause I know how to break a man
I know how to break a man in two

o, by the tiding of my tounge
I lie and sing what can't be unsung
my soul torn in two by the things I say to
you by the things that I say

I know how to break us man, in two

Blogtations

Gavin's Baptism

Our nephew, Gavin Jeffrey was baptized on Saturday evening. I was especially touched by the ceremony, because I pray earnestly every day that little Gavin will know Jesus. Here are some photos from the evening.

Grandma-time before the service. Cute, right?

Our first EVER decent family photo!
Sweet Gavin.

His Christening gown is 67 years old. His mother (Stacy) and other relatives were also baptized in it, and each of their names are embroidered along its hem.

Three generations. : ) Here's to many, many more.


"The boys."

Answers

1. False. I love Ellen Degeneres. I think she's REALLY funny.
2. True. I do, frequently, wear my pajamas inside out. Tags and seams bother me. Why be uncomfortable?
3. True. I dislike reading poetry. Save for Jenna's and Shakespeare.
4. True. I do enjoy hip hop. I fear, though, that I'm getting too old for it...
5. False. I hate the stupid drummer boy. I want to vote him off the Christmas island.

I just want to say that my pop quiz ALMOST led to the world's most boring comments ever. Thanks to those of you who tried to jazz things up.

Also, Kelli, please go back and re-read the directions. If you chose to re-do, I am willing to give you 70% credit.

Pop Quiz

In honor of school starting, I've decided to give you all a pop quiz. About me. It's true or false. Books closed.

1. I HATE Ellen Degeneres.

2. I wear my pajamas inside out.

3. I dislike reading poetry.

4. I love hip hop.

5. My favorite Christmas carol is "Little Drummer Boy."

Somebody else give us a pop-quiz.

How about:

Kristi

Cara

Swampy

Dear Chocolate Fudge Brownie,

Why don't you come over here and sit by me.
I love you,
Erin
p.s. Tell Ben & Jerry they can come, too.

Mom's New Toy

I came. I rode. I hated.

Sorry, Mom. I think you are the cutest thing to ever ride a scooter, but I don't think I'll be frequenting ol' Buddy. It's just not meant for me.