Call me Ishmael.

Ever since I finished Moby Dick my junior year in college, I've had a thing for whales. (Please note the most important word of the preceding sentence: finished.) Not because I loved the book so much and it's endless chapters about ROPE, but over spring break that year my family went to Hawaii and we were able to see whales from the beach. Very cool.

I was clicking around the blogs and found the Unseen Blogger's post about an albino whale.

Apparently some ahem-hippies-ahem have their undies in a bunch about whaling off the coast of Japan. As I understand it, Japanese whalers are killing approximately 1,000 whales per year in the name of "scientific research" and then selling the meat for food.

An albino whale that's being hunted.

Hmmm...

Call me Ishmael, but could this be a symbol of something greater going on in the world?

To be fair, I think Ahab was hunting a pure white Sperm Whale, but you get my point.

I was so excited and proud of the parallel I had drawn (and commented on in the aforementioned blog) that when I was interrupted by one of my higher ranking co-workers, I spewed the information I had just gleaned along with my parallel.

I guess you could say I am a veritable blowhole of useless information.

His response?

"I'm glad to see you have time to whale watch during your busy day. Can I buy a t-shirt or anything to support this white whale?"

Teehee.

Helps

I have something I need to get off my chest.
Remember the spiritual gift of "Helps" that oh-so-many of you women out there have in abundance?
I don't have it.
You won't find me elbowing my way into the kitchen to help clean up after dinner. I won't drop what I'm doing to help a co-worker find a stapler. I won't put your project before mine. It just doesn't occur to me. It's not because I don't WANT to be helpful. I just don't have that gene.
My job poses a serious problem in this area. I am a paid helper. I get worn out easily trying to help create presentations, help find sh*t, help find PEOPLE, help schedule meetings, help organize...
Now, this isn't to say that I won't do absolutely EVERYTHING necessary to help a friend or loved one in need, and that's the truth. Surgery? I'm there. Broken femur? Count me in. Death in the family? You can count on me.
It just probably won't occur to me to do your dishes. I'm sorry.
And that's all I have to say about that.





Other random thoughts:
1. Rich and I are ready for Iron Chef America: VELVEETA!
3. As well as Iron Chef America: SPAM!
4. And Iron Chef America: PEANUT BUTTER AND THE COTTON GIN!
5. Yes, I will be out with the masses shopping on Black Friday. What do I need?
-New undergarments
-A camcorder (or whatever we're calling them in Y2K)
-To spend the rest of my birthday money. (I'm thinking it might be time for another purse. Or some more earrings. Or a camcorder. I just don't know!)
6. I HAVE TO see Love in the time of Cholera if it's the last thing I do!
7. I might ACTUALLY get the laundry done before we leave for Nebraska. RAD!
8. Try Puffs Plus with Vicks even if you don't have a cold. I've never enjoyed a tissue more.
9. Thanksgiving is on Thursday! As said in Corky said, "Get me out of this 'ell 'ole!"

Flip Rolls

Flip Buns?
I made up a recipe tonight. At least I think I did. I can't decide to call them Flip Rolls or Flip Buns.
I guess I'm leaning more toward Flip Rolls because it sounds like a command that would really confuse Pedro. Thoughts?

Turn Hawaiian sweet rolls upside down in a pan.
Don't bother greasing.
Melt 1/2 stick of butter with 1/2C brown sugar in a small saucepan on the stove.
Stir in a dash of cinnamon and a drop or two of vanilla.
Stir, stir, stir.
Pour mixture over rolls.
Sprinkle with a little extra brown sugar.
Bake at 350 for 15 minutes or until you can't take it anymore.
Let cool (if you want) and eat.

I couldn't even get a photo before we had eaten half the pan.





These are very healthy and calorie free.
I swear.
A word of caution: Turn off your burners.
Oops.

My Birthday

I had a wonderful birthday.

I got to sleep in, then Rich and I drove to St. Cloud to watch Mandi play hockey. She was AWESOME! It was St. Ben's first conference win AND a shut out, led by freshman goalie, my sister! What a fun game to watch.

Afterword, Rich, Mandi and I went out to dinner and then to the mall where Richard bought me a pair of aquamarine earrings (the birthstone of our baby) for my birthday. They can be seen here (click on the photo to zoom in).

We came home andd I got to spend two hours reading Love in the time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, my all time favorite author of all time. That's two all times. THE MOVIE CAME OUT ON FRIDAY!!!! I'm trying to finish the book (again) in time to see it before it leaves the theaters. I have low hopes. Anything I like doesn't last long...

Anyhow, could a girl ask for more for her birthday? Really?

Here are some photos from the day:

26

I turn 26 tomorrow.
I'm dealing with it a LOT better than I did with 25.
For my 25th birthday a bunch of us went out for dinner where I proceeded to get veeery drunk. In front of my in-laws.
I feel like I should be embarassed about that, but I think they found it amusing.
The best part of the night?
My friends singing Frere Jaques in rounds instead of Happy Birthday. That will forever remain embedded in my memory of all time favorite things.
The next best part of the night?
The meatball eating contest.

Guess you had to be there.

Singing Frere Jaques and blowing out candles.

This should give you an idea for where I was at...

Drunk face...and flashing the camera. All class, all the way.

Is this going to be one of those things I regret in an hour?

Don't worry--I didn't ACTUALLY show anything. It looks worse than it is because of the crop. I swear.

nope

Warning: This post contains adult language.

I just got asked if I would be willing to work part time while I'm on maternity leave.

Heck no.




Sigh.

5:13

It was 5:13 this morning when Richard woke me up talking in his sleep (this NEVER happens).
The cat quietly crept up and laid on my shoulder (balanced perfectly on my side) with his nose behind my ear. I have no idea how often he does this.
I thought for sure I saw something shadowy moving out of the corner of my eye.
I could hear Pedro growling and whimpering in his sleep.
I heard something moving outside.
All of these things put together totally freaked me out.
I woke Richard up.
"Hi. What are you dreaming about?"
"Autobots." He proceeded to make Autobot noises.
"Really? Do you have to go to the bathroom?"
"Um, no."
"Oh. I think you should. And while you're up, can you check for the boogeyman?"
"Erin, there's no one here."
"There might be."
"Pedro would be going nuts if someone was here."
"Unless Pedro is already dead!" I said.
I knew if I talked long enough Rich would have to go to the bathroom.
My persistence paid off.
Richard checked--no boogeyman.

Turns out, the tarp had blown off the A/C unit.
Period.

Westies

Thankfully, Annie managed to get a photo of my mom's Westie quilt at the retreat last weekend.

I somehow managed to miss it.

Come to think of it, I didn't take photos of much...I wonder why.

Oh yeah! I was sound asleep.

Anyhow...

Won't it be DARLING?!

I can't wait til it's finished. Not bad for a first-timer, eh?

Dears

Dear Richard,
I love you. Thanks for letting me sleep all day yesterday.
I'm feeling a little more normal today.

Dear Brenda,
I tried the gingerbread latte. Yum-O!
Thanks for the recommendation!

Dear Lauren,
I'm glad that you don't read my blog because when I tell you stories your eyes DON'T glaze over because you've already read it. You even laugh! That's fun.

Dear Carla,
Thanks for the movie.

Dear Noonie,
I miss you. I liked it better when you lived HERE.
Can't wait for this weekend!

Dear McClain,
See Noonie's letter.
Can't wait for Thanksgiving!

Dear Friends,
No, there really isn't anything I want to do for my birthday.
If you really want to get together, work with Richard to plan something.
I'll come, but I'm just not too jazzed for my birthday this year.

Dear Bloggers,
Thanks for wishing me well yesterday.

Dear DesvousJunior,
Keep doin' what you're doin'.

All my love,
Erin

Mental Health Day

I stayed in bed today until 2pm.
I'm not sick, but not feeling very well.
I wish I got sick days and mental health days. They are two very different things.

Playwright

I forgot to tell you about one of the highlights of the quilting retreat! I was able to showcase my "talents" as a writer. I had no idea that I could write skits. Forgive me if I don't have the punctuation right.

Mom was thrilled to see me use my degree to write dialogue for Bubba. Go figure.

Bubba: played by Kristi.

Store Manager: Played by Kristen.

Elvira: Played by yours truly.

Dragnet team: Marjie and Dawne.

[Setting: Wal-Mart parking lot near a beat up pick up truck.]

Bubba (looking in truck window): Well dip me in honey and call me a corndog! I'll be codswalloped! My skunk-skin cap! It's gone! Stolen! MY SKUNK SKIN CAP! Ooh...Elvira...!

(Fuming, Bubba walks back toward Wal-Mart.)

Bubba (to store manager): My skunk-skin cap's gone-a-missin' from my truck. Find me Elvira! That low-life, liver-lickin cap thief took it. I just know it. She's always been jealous of my skunk-skin cap!

Store Manager: Sir, Elvira couldn't'a took yer cap! She's been runnin' the registers all day.

Bubba: Nosiree. That elfish, eatin'-everythin' ELEPHANT WOMAN took it! She's been out to get me ever since I spurned her advances!

Store Manager (sighs over intercom): Elvira, report to customer service. (Looks at Bubba.) Immediately. (To self,) Perhaps I should call the po-lice.

[Elvira and Dragnet arrive at Customer Service at the same time.]

Bubba: Good timin'! Officer, arrest this she-devil!

Elvira: What?! What on earth for?! I been here with Jed 'n' Wanda all day. I ain't even had my smoke break yet! (Rubs pregnant belly.)

Bubba: Smoke break! Pah! You got cheez whiz all over yer face! Where you been?! I know! Stealin' my skunk-skin cap!

[All cast members gasp. Elvira wipes at her face.]

Elvira: Well, I was...hungry. But I ain't touched no hat.

Bubba: I know it was you, you cap-keepin, cold-collared, skunk-skin lover. I luhrved that cap!

Detective Marjie: Just the facts sir. Just stick to the facts.

Deputy Dawne: Don't worry, everyone. I'm sure we'll get to the bottom of thi--

Detective Marjie: Just the facts! Stick to the facts! Why don't you take us to the scene of the crime?

Bubba: With JUBLIATION, I will take you to the scene of the crime! (Scowls at Elvira.)

[The group moves toward the pick-up truck where the Dragnet team spots the cap on top of the truck.]

DM: Can you please describe the cap?

Bubba: Oh, I luhrved that cap! I skinned the skunk after I et it. I mean, I skinned it, then I et it, then I tanned the hide to make the most beautiful cap!

DM: Just the facts, sir. Where was the cap last seen?

Bubba: Right thar! In that thar pick up truck. In the back seat!

DM: It sounds to me like you are describing the top of the truck! (Triumphantly grabs cap.)

Bubba: Well ain't it obvious? That pilferin'-plottin' PILL of a woman planted my skunk skin cap on top-a-my truck thar!

DM (ignoring Bubba): Elvira, would you like to press charges for false accusations?

(Deputy Dawne moves toward Bubba to arrest.)

Elvira: No, I don't believe I will. I can forgive Bubba fer hurtin' my feelin's even if he don't deserve it.

[All cast members gasp in surprise.]

Bubba: Well smack my bottom and call me a waitress, I don't believe it.

I take it back.

Now that I think about it, Pedro actually knows several words in addition to "sit," "lay," and "shake," all of which illicit some sort of INTENSE emotion.





Popcorn: Jubilation and tail chasing in the kitchen.
Rollover: Confusion and rollover 10% of the time.
Gitchertoy: Happiness and toy retrieval.
Wheresyerkitty: Head cock and tail chasing.
Didjoodothis: Hiding under the bed.
Outside: Stuffed animal retrieval and nose pressed to the door.
Getdown: Wait one more beat to see if I really meant it.
No: Try one more time to see if I really meant it.
Bath: Cowering fear.

Exploding Kernels of Fun

Pedro knows two words:

1. Sit.

2. Popcorn.

We often refer to popcorn as "exploding kernels of fun" if we don't want our 14-lb maniac to go berserk.

Berserk.

Popcorn is really the only human treat Pedro gets to share with the family, so you can understand his excitement.

The scene:

Richard is sitting on the living room floor watching the Colts lose to the Chargers with a gargantuan bowl of popcorn.

He sets one piece of popcorn in front of the cat and tells the dog to stay away; that it belongs to the cat.

Pedro oh-so-sneakily sneaks AROUND the entertainment center in order to steal the popcorn from the cat, as if Richard might not notice him if he comes at it from a different direction.

As soon as the dog disappears around the other side of the TV, Richard grabs the original piece of popcorn leaving Pedro confused.

Could the kitty have eaten the popcorn? Did he imagine the piece of popcorn? Did he already eat it?

The cat knows exactly what is going on and flaps his tail sassily as if he really did want the popcorn in the first place.

Hours of fun.

Rich says he can't wait to have kids. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing...

I'm glad to be home.

Retreat!

I didn't get much done at the quilting retreat.
I couldn't drag my quiltin' rear out of bed long enough to do anything.
I didn't make it past 11pm any night we were there (nor did I rise before 10am any morning). Last night I went to take a "nap" at 9:30, fully intending to come back to my machine an hour later.
I woke up at 1:30 when Mom and Sarah came to bed, at which point, Mom said, "Don't you wish you could sleep through your whole pregnancy and wake up with a baby, like Rumplestiltskin?"
I said, "I'm not sure if I would rather wake up to a baby or a beard."

I'll show you the quilt eventually. It's gonna be cool. If I can stay awake long enough to finish.

Stuff and more random ideas

1. Look at my new table!

I've wanted a "breakfast table" since we moved in to our house!

Thank you, Josh & Cara for opening up your garage to us! Such a fun night, and really made me thankful for young married friends. You guys are the best.

2. I leave for the quilting retreat TOMORROW!!

3. My mom is going on the quilting retreat!!

As Kristi mentioned, I have not looked forward to a retreat this much in a LONG time. I am VERY excited to get out of here and work on my baby quilt. Expect photos next week.

4. I'm turning off my phone this weekend.

I'm on vacation. Don't try to get ahold of me. : )

5. My book club rules! Meeting every other Tuesday with two AWESOME chicas is better than I expected. Not that I expected it to be bad, but...you know what I mean.

6. A co-worker returned today from maternity leave. I said, "You look so good!! Welcome back!"

I should have stopped there. Instead I went on to say,

"Your face is back to normal!"

What the crap is wrong with me?

I guess The Office phenomenon goes both ways...

7. Happy Birthday, Brandy!! Love you!

p.s. I reserve the right to blog more later today.

For Paul D.

Remember the three-legged chihuahua?

I saw the same dog yesterday walking (slowly) with his owner.

Wearing a sweater.

Dear Mr. Johnson,

Eleven years ago, you were the one who told me I could be a writer. Or, at least you made me think I could really do it.
I adored you, and 232 facebook members in the group
"Oscar Johnson is God"
can't be wrong.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axkIyATNRQQ



How do you put a video in?? I don't get it!

Made Me Smile

U.S. President George W. Bush (L) awards the Presidential Medal of Freedom to American novelist Harper Lee (R) in the East Room of the White House, November 5, 2007. REUTERS/Larry Downing (UNITED STATES)

This brought a smile to my face.

Today's trivia question:
Who is Harper Lee?

Don't let me down, guys.

Poll

Since my smell post has crashed and burned, I've decided to add a poll.
I've been thinking about Hillary a lot lately and how terrifying it is that she could possibly be our next leader. Fearless, perhaps. But trustworthy and honorable? I just don't see it.
Please don't tear me to shreds. I am ABSOLUTELY not interested in a political debate.
Anyway.
Vote in my first poll!

Smells

Have you ever noticed that some people just smell good?
Whether it be body chemistry or perfume or cologne, some people just smell great.
Some days you're walking down the hall on your way to the cafeteria and manage to walk behind somebody who just smells so good you could follow them anywhere. You relax and feel better about life in general. Can you identify?
I am not one of these people.
Unless Eau de Garlic is a soothing, come hither scent.