The Cold Press Experiment

It's no secret how much I enjoy my iced coffee. A couple of weeks ago, my mom brought me this cold-press kit to make your own iced coffee concentrate at home! Cool!
Here's how it works:

Pour one pound of coffee into the filter / bucket thingy with enough cold water to fill to the top.

Allow to sit overnight (10-12 hours).

Remove the rubber stopper and drain coffee into the pitcher

when the coffee has had enough time to steep.
Enjoy!
Store the remaining coffee concentrate in the refridgerator for up to two weeks (if it lasts that long!).

Cool, huh? Come on over! I'll fix you one. :)

An Honest Answer

Recently a question was posed for me:
Big hair, big purse, big boobs, big dreams. If you could only choose one, which would it be?
Let me answer you with a little story:

I met a friend (who shall remain nameless...let's call her Masha) for dinner the other night and handed her Shirley Jean over the table, who immediately reached for Masha's enormous Mountain Dew. Masha responsibly went to move the Mountain Dew out of SJ's reach, when everything went very, very wrong.
The Mountain Dew spilled - nay - exploded all over me. It was like a tidal wave of sticky yellowness that hit my body at first fast, then slow. Fast, because the shock of the cold was stunning, and then slow as I realized how much of me was soaked. It was amazing, really. It defied logic. It defied physics. It defied how much Mountain Dew was actually in the cup.
Instantly, both Masha and I cried, "THE PURSE!"
Instead of hopping out of my seat like a sane person, I sat in a pool of Mountain Dew, felt it soaking through to my underwear, felt it roll down my left leg...until I was assured that the purse would bear no stains.

So...to answer your question, I choose big boobs.

Dear Cold Pressed Breakfast Blend Concentrate that I made on my kitchen counter,

Holy crap, dude.
Let me sleep.
I am THIS close to throwing you away.
Sincerely,
Erin
p.s. I wrote this (in my head) last night around 4am. There is just no fun in being up that late if your vampire boyfriend is not there to join you.

Rules of Engagement: Marriage and the Cold Virus

If one spouse is sick:
-No one sleeps.
-There will not be enough Nyquil to go around.
-There is no such thing as germs. (You share everythingeverythingeverything anyway. Why bother avoiding germs anymore?)

If (when) both spouses are sick:
-No one sleeps.
-Nyquil is not an option because the baby needs a parent who is not hungover in the morning.
-All meals (mostly for the child's benefit) will be made in the microwave.

If both spouses and the baby are sick:
-No one sleeps.
-Mommy is no longer sick even though she's still sick.
-All meals (for the whole family) are yogurt or ice cream. Or Goldfish Crackers.

An Urban Experiment - Topsy Turvy

OK, so it's already been established that I have a thing for infomercials.

So...in the hope of all things "too good to be true," I purchased a Topsy Turvy tomato planter. (Actually, it was a gift from Lauren. Tomato, tomahto.)

I am love the idea of growing my own tomatoes without the trouble of tilling a garden.

Here's what we've got after one week of growth:

It may not look like much, but already, the plant has doubled in size and is reaching toward the sun instead of the ground. I'm pretty excited. Updates to follow!

p.s. Miracle Grow for tomatoes makes your begonias go crazy!

Are you fricking kidding me???

Dearest fashion blog,
Are you fricking kidding me???
Haiku is my schtick!

It all depends on your perspective.

Since I couldn't be with my mom during her surgery today, I decided to send flowers.
After I gave the florist all my info, she said, "What do you want the card to say?"
I was not prepared for this.
"Uh...I dunno," I said. "What do you say to someone who's just had their reproductive parts removed?"
She said, "Um...Congratulations?"

Praise!

Thank you for your prayers!
Mom got out of surgery around 11 this morning. (They started late...shocker, right?)
The doctor was able to leave her ovaries in tact, which is a huge praise.
She is "pretty beat up and tired," according to Dad, but doing ok. She will be in the hospital until Wednesday or Thursday.
Thank you, God for making this as straightforward as we had hoped.

Prayer Request

Tomorrow morning (Monday) at 7:30, my mom, Kathleen, will undergo a hysterectomy.
She will be in the hospital for a couple of days, and home from work for 6 weeks.
Please keep her in your prayers. I will post an update when I know how it goes.
Thank you!





*I have her permission to ask for your prayers.

Wish I had thought of this..

Happy Father's Day, to all my favorite fathers.

You know who you are. :)

Dear Church,

Sorry.
Love,
Erin

Fifteen Books

I so enjoyed writing this list for Facebook that I decided to put it on my blog, too. I'm interested in your fifteen books! Tell me if you make a list. I'll click on over and check it out!

Instructions:
Don’t take too long to think about it. Fifteen books you’ve read that will always stick with you. First fifteen you can recall in no more than 15 minutes. Copy the instructions into your own note, send it along to how ever many people you like, and be sure to tag the person who tagged you.

1. One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez: My all time favorite. Until I read this book, I didn't know writing that weaves in and out of what I know as "real life," was allowed. Changed my life forever.

2. Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden: I read this one while I was in Scotland. I thought it was so lovely and sad. I have vivid memories of riding the train to the Isle of Skye, fully engrossed in this novel. Mayhaps I should have been looking out the window? It seems to be my lot in life to be reading when I should be paying attention.

3. The Secret of the Old Clock, a Nancy Drew Mystery by Carolyn Keene: My first mystery. It sparked a love for all things heart-pounding.

4. Moby Dick by old Herman Melville: I finished it. You have no idea what that meant for me.

5. Emily of New Moon by Lucy Maude Montgomery: I read it on the ride from Norman, Oklahoma to Hudson, Wisconsin the summer after 4th grade. That's the sort of thing that sticks with you. It's the only book I can think of that I've ever read more than once. Also, it's WAAAAAAY better than Anne of Green Gables.

6. High Fidelity by Nick Hornby: Another one I read in Scotland. My semester abroad was an unadulterated opportunity to read purely for enjoyment. I correlate High Fidelity with happiness. Ironic?

7. The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck: I got goosebumps just typing out the title. Read my senior year in high school. Sad, lovely, touching and epic.

8. My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers: The spirit of the living God dwells in Chambers' writing. Life changing. Period.

9. Romeo & Juliet by William Shakespeare: Does a play count? Anyway, I take it back, I've read this one more than once.Tried and true, and still one of the most beautiful things I've ever read.

10. Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood: Not a popular favorite of Atwood's, but I was entranced (entranced, I tell you!) from word one. The quilts, the violence, the sad, bleak future. Ah, God.

11. The Harry Potter series by JK Rowling: I am seventeen, burrowed under my covers in a new house in a new place reading by dim light.

12. The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky: Teen angst. Don't judge, but I thought this book was written for ME.

13. A is for Alibi by Sue Grafton: Wait, they put sex in books? I can't believe my mom let me read this one. I distinctly remember nipples and a trailer park.

14. Horton Hears a Who by Dr. Seuss: The beginning of my love for the written word.

15. Inside Out by Larry Crabb: I have never finished this book. I don't wanna talk about it.

This was hard. And took a lot longer than 15 minutes!

An Introvert's Birthday

Happy 30th Birthday, Richard!

I had a nice birthday party all planned out for Richard, and was all set to send out the invitations about two weeks ago when Richard stopped me.

"Erin, giving me a birthday party is like giving me an anti-birthday present."

We'll be celebrating Richard-style, at home, quietly enjoying eachother's company. :)

Kujo Cat

Yesterday as Jodi came in the house, she said, "Erin? Do you want me to let this cat in?"

Since my cat was on the couch with me, I said, "Um...no...?"

Apparently, this mystery cat wanted a new home. Brian and Jodi described it to me as a brown cat with a half-tail.

I said, "I think that's the cat Kitty fights with from down the street--is he really fat?"

"No, he's REALLY skinny."

"Hmmm..."

A few minutes later, Brian said, "There he is! Look out the window!"

I leaned over the hamper to look out Shirley's window and at that exact moment, a brown cat with blue eyes came FLYING at me. First his paws, then his face hit the (thankfully) closed window in one crazed fluid motion, and then he disappeared completely.

I screamed bloody murder, but to no avail. No one saw Kujo Cat try to attack me. They were all very polite, but I'm not sure they believe me, even know.

I almost died, people.

Kujo Cat spent the rest of the day trying to get in the house, but this morning he was gone.

Do you think I should contact Stephen King? Maybe let him know that Kujo is actually a cat, not a dog?

Minivan Mama

Dear Other Cars,
What am I? Chopped liver?
I was not aware that driving a minivan changes my driving status to: Invisible.
Go ahead. You've got places to be.
Sincerely,
Erin
p.s. Start seeing minivans!

The glories of self-taught "web design..."

A great way to revamp your blog:
Save your existing template to your desktop.
Chicken out of the revamp.
Re-load your saved template only to discover that all your links and widgets are missing.
Decide to go with an all-peacock theme.
Fiddle with the template and dabble with html code for HOURS.
Go to bed at 3am.

Thoughts on Mowing the Lawn

I don't think I have had the occasion to mow the lawn since I was about 15 years old. It was an enjoyable experience overall, and I had a lot of time to think.
Here are my thoughts:
Mowing after a long bike ride may not have been the most well thought out plan.
Self-propelling lawn mowers are an inspiration from God.
I don't remember mowing the lawn being such a dirty job.
Mowing the lawn is a lot more fun when somebody offers to pay you.
The time to think will inspire millions of blog and status update ideas, but the physical exertion will shove them right out of your head.
I am glad my husband does most of the dirty yardwork!

A good idea...apparently.

Wouldn't you love to be the guy who said to his friend, "There are hundreds of hours of game show footage just sitting in storage. We should show game show reruns...on a game show CHANNEL...no, a Game Show NEWTORK."

Green?

I'm turning so green I just reused a zip-lock bag.
Or does that just make me old?

Soooooo Pretty

It all started when I got my Ulta catalog in the mail last week. Apparently they are now selling Benefit cosmetics. Big woop, right?

Well.

Little known fact about Erin: I really like playing with makeup. I know, right??? You have no idea how much I actually wear. It's not pretty under here.

Anyway.

One of Benefit's products interested me, so I went to check it out. I asked the girl wearing the smock to tell me about it and before I knew it, I was in a chair getting a full face of makeup making, "ah," and "ooh," and "I love it!" and "pretty!" noises. I left the makeover chair (conveniently and humiliatingly placed IN the entrance of the store) feeling very pretty and as if I could really do the face she taught me on my own at home (Ok, I lied before. I enjoy makeup, but don't wear much and new techniques intimadate me.). She only used FOUR products and I thought that was pretty cool.

I walked around the store for another half hour with over $100 (ONE. HUNDRED. DOLLARS.) worth of makeup in my basket. I found the same exact products from Neutrogena and CoverGirl, and paid $14 at the register, thankyouverymuch.

Of course, I had a moment of panic as I wondered if I would be able to get the same effect at home with a different product of an inherently lesser quality--I mean, the quality HAD to be less because the cost was less, right?

Well. It's 12:34 now, and I've spent the last 12 or so hours doing laundry, making dinner, changing diapers and wrestling with a toddler; and the nineteen-dollar-mascara* has smeared all over my twenty-eight-dollar foundation.

I think I made the right choice.

*NINETEEN dollars for MASCARA!!!

Sales girl: I mean, the mascara is a totally reasonable price! It's not even that much more expensive than L'Oreal! I think their most expensive mascara is, like, $10.

Erin: So...it's approximately twice as much?

Sales girl: Um...yeah.

Erin: Ooh! Ahh! Pretty! I love it!

There are starving kids in China!

Food I have thrown out in the last 24 hours:
-one-half of a graham cracker
-two eggs (scrambled)
-two animal crackers
-seven Goldfish crackers
-8+ ounces of milk (white, vitamin D)
-Organic Baby Harvest Greens (3oz)
-4 ounces of juice (V8 Splash)
-at least two handfuls of Cheerios

I guess I never realized how much food a mommy throws away in the course of a day.

p.s. Methinks it's time to start pouring smaller cups of milk!
p.p.s. I don't ALWAYS throw away the uneaten Cheerios...I'm starting to think those things could survive a nuclear holocaust.
p.p.p.s. TWO EGGS! What was I thinking making TWO eggs???

Whatcha buyin'?

There are few things quite so intimate, nay, intrusive as checking out the items in somebody else's cart.
I'm not wrong on this.

Red for Richard!

[Afternoon.]
Erin: Richard, henceforth, for the remainder of our days as husband and wife, your toothbrush shall be RED.
Richard: What if I want blue?
Erin: No, Red. Red for Richard.
Richard: No, Blue. Blue for Boy.
Erin: Do you WANT blue?
Richard: No.
Erin: Ok then, Red for Richard.

[Bedtime.]
Richard: Hey, which toothbrush is mine? Blue, right?
Erin: Yeah.
[longpause]
Erin: NO!