Tuesday, August 31, 2010

What's mine is mine...and I DON'T share fries!

Erin: Hey, do you want the other half of this waffle?
Richard: Only if you aren't gonna eat it.
E: No. I don't want it.
R: Are you sure?
E: Yes! I wouldn't have offered it otherwise.
R: I'm really fine. If you're still hungry, go ahead.
E: I really don't want it. I don't often offer food off my plate out of the goodness of my heart if I'm still hungry.

Many of you can attest to the probable truth of this conversation based on personal experience.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Hot Dog: An Ethical and Gravitational Crisis

At about 4:00 this morning, I became aware that someone was whining and wimpering. Also, that I had been hearing it for quite a while. Hours, possibly. I listened for a minute to discern which child it was, and determined that it was canine in nature and coming from the dining room.
I shook Richard's shoulder and asked hhim to go check it out.
Pedro was trapped on the dining room table.
When he saw Richard approaching, his fear of punishment outweighed his fear of heights and he launched himself off the table, and bolted under our bed. (Small dog, short legs, tall table. You can imagine how it went...)
How often does Pedro trap himself on the dining room table?
Why did he get stuck last night, and (apparently) never before?
If it has happened before, on average, how long is he trapped? When he hears someone get up in the middle of the night or the garage door opening, does he panic and finally find the "courage" to get down?
Why couldn't he get down the same way he got up?
Seems to me that Pedro was suffering a gravitational crisis, in addition to making some poor moral choices that his walnut-sized brain just couldn't reason out. I am inclined to set up a hidden camera tonight and leave a great, big, steaming bratwurst in the middle of the table. Just to see what happens.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Just try it.

Go to http://maps.google.com/.
Search for “Eleva, WI.”
Zoom in 3 times.
Pan left 2 times.
Pan up 6 times.
Click on “satellite” within the map.

You know you want to.

Monday, August 09, 2010


My home is the place watermelons come to die.

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Book Review

T is for Trespass by Sue Grafton
Synopsis: Kinsey Millhone is hired to do a background check on her neighbor, Gus's, full-time-care nurse, which she completes and approves. It's not until things start to look pretty bad for old Gus that Kinsey realizes she may have overlooked something.
Readability: In short? I have baby brain, and I didn't have any trouble at all.
Predictability: You know how I love a surprise. We know from the beginning what's going to have to happen in the end...make sense? BUT, it's the bumps and bounces along the way that kept me guessing HOW it would all work out. I'm telling you, Grafton hasn't raised my blood pressure like that in a long time. Probably in the last four "alphabet" books. Really. At about 2am, Richard came out to the living room to find me reading. "Are you coming to bed?" he asked. "NOT! RIGHT! NOW!!!!" I shrieked. Once you get to the last five or six chapters, there's no stopping. For real.
Couldn't Put it Down Factor: Couldn't put it down? I still can't stop thinking about it. I finished it last week.
Recommend it?: I do, but only if you are already a friend of Kinsey Millhone. There were some things in this one that were pretty shocking and a little bit gory. I have a very hard time with violence of any kind, and there was one scene in this mystery that wasn't very palatable. Nevertheless, I really enjoyed this one. You know when you get so involved in a book that you are IN it? That's how I felt. I want to go back and visit...but that seems like it would be silly, since the book isn't actually alive and nothing will have changed since the last time I put it down.
Three and a half out of five stars. For violence and repetitive dialogue. (Come on Sue. Mix it up a little bit.)