Friday, February 18, 2011

Another VERY close call.

Erin: Shirley, do you want fish sticks for dinner?
Shirley [looks at Fishmael]: What?! Mama, Fishmael is not a stick! You silly goofy.
Erin [sweating bullets]: Chicken, then! Let's have chicken.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011


Shirley and I had a very stern talk yesterday about touching outlets. Today, Baby Richard and I had the same talk. Now Shirley feels smug and superior while Baby's feelings are hurt.
I can't help but feel like I'm repeating myself an awful lot. Not to mention, if Shirley is still inclined to touch outlets, and I'm just starting to teach Richard now...I may be saying this for a long time. Follow me?
I am thinking of writing these oft-repeated mom-isms down, almost like a playbook.
For instance,
Rule #1: Obey the first time you are asked.
Rule #2: No whining.
Rule #3: Don't hit.
Rule #4: Don't touch outlets.
So on and so forth...
Then, when I'm in the middle of something, I can just call out, "Shirley! SEVENTEEN!" And she'll jump up and make dinner.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Call me Fishmael.

Meet the newest member of our family, Fishmael.
We adopted him almost two weeks ago, and he has been a joy and delight ever since! He is a Siamese Fighting Fish or Betta Splendens, and must be in his tank alone, because he won't back down from a fight! He follows my finger all along his tank and puffs himself up as if he's really going to get me.
I really felt inclined to get a Betta because they are so abused in pet stores. There are many misconceptions about Betta fish, because they are a very hardy fish and thereby hard to kill. They essentially have a lung that they use in addition to their gills and take a lot of oxygen from the surface of the water. Because of this, they are able to live in putrified, polluted, ammonia-water long after any other fish would have died. Because of this, many people think they can thrive in small bowls of water with little or no oxygen, when what really happens is that they burn to death in their own ammonia waste products.
Another common false belief is that Bettas can live in a bowl underneath a water plant and will eat off its roots. This also is not true. Bettas need protein to survive, and a plant offers no protein, so they slowly starve to death in planted bowls, in slightly less disgusting water. A starved Betta will nibble at the roots of any plant, looking for food, but don't be deceived! A Betta needs clean, oxygenated water and a high-protein diet in teeny, tiny portions. I am so happy to offer a better home to this beautiful creature of God.
Anyway, meet Fishmael. :)

Thursday, February 10, 2011

And then I broke out in cold sweat.

Shirley: Daddy, I can have more chicken?
Richard: Sure, but this isn't chicken. This is...
Erin: Don't do it.
Rich: ...PIG!
SJ: What?
Erin: Nooooo...not tonight.
SJ: Daddy! This is meat.
Rich: No, it's pig.
Erin: Richard! Stop it! NOT. TONIGHT.
SJ: Daddy, stop. You silly.
Rich: Ok, Shirley, you're right. It's chicken.
SJ: No, Daddy. There's no animals. This is meat!
Erin: Yes! It's meat.
Rich: It's meat.
SJ: Yummmmmy. I can have dip?

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

Vision Board: Better late than never!

At the beginning of the year, Lauren and her co-workers had an assignment to create vision boards that show their goals and aspirations for the new year, and share them in a staff meeting.
Instead of grumbling about the assignment, Lauren threw herself in to the project and loved every minute of it. (This is one of Lauren's most admirable qualities, if you ask me.)
She was so inspired by this project that she helped me make a vision board for 2011.
I admit, I thought it was sort of silly, but once we got going, I really enjoyed myself! I am proud of my vision board and hope I reach all of my goals represented on it.
Click to enlarge.
It was a really fun project, and very fun to see my goals on paper. If you have specific goals for the new year, maybe you could make one! If you do, be sure to post a comment and share it with me.

Saturday, February 05, 2011

Quiet Time

I was reading in The Bible the other day about a prophecy regarding a great contest expected to take place in about the year 2011. 
The prophecy read something about how God had ordained the outcome of a contest watched by the entire world whereby a race of giant men covered in green with yellow markings and cages on their heads surrounded by people wearing dairy products triumphed in something called The Great Bowl XLV over a tribe from the east who were all dressed in black and were surrounded by a wild an unwashed group of people waving rags. 
After the contest was over, darkness covered the face of the earth over all the area of the tribe from the east but the sun shined bright over the land of the tribe from the west. So bright, in fact, that the ice and snow melted and the land was eternally freed from the ice prison that held it until now. There was rejoicing in the land of the green men but there was bitterness, weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth in the land of the black covered men. God was happy for the green men and sad for the black covered men, but he saw that His work was good and that justice had been done. 
He then turned the following year to smite a tribe called Vikings.
I can’t remember the reference but I’m sure I read it in Isaiah.  What do you suppose it means?

Thursday, February 03, 2011

Someone should do a study.

Is the concept of "sleeping through the night" an American thing? Do African women in huts get up two or three times a night with their children? How about Cambodian women? Turkish or Japanese women? Do they embrace the fact that they will never sleep again once they have children? What about Irish women? Is six hours of sleep in two-hour increments a gift to them? Iran? Mexico? Idaho?
Everyone I know has one goal: sleeping through the night.
"Is he sleeping through the night?" "Oh, she sleeps through! Good for you!" "How often is he up in the night?" "If you [do this] she will sleep through the night." These are all very common phrases to the parents of a new MY culture.
What I want to know is: are we the weirdos? Is this a major topic of conversation for mommies in other countries and cultures?
I'm just saying if this is my life, I at least want to belong to a culture where everybody else feels like shit, too.