Monday, October 18, 2010

For your reference: "Outside" is now called "Commando."

Erin: Shirley, let's put on your underpants.
Shirley: NO!
Erin: Ok, how about a diaper?
Shirley: NO!
Erin: Well it has to be one or the other.
Shirley: NO!
Richard: Do you want to go commando?
Shirley: YEAH! Let's go commando, Daddy! Take her! Take her commando! Let's go!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

It's good to know where you're at.

The other night, Richard and I went to visit some friends who had a baby. We rode separately so he could take the daddy out for wings (a long-standing tradition in our circle).
I texted him while he was out, "That was fun. Let's have another."
He replied, "Beer?"

Tuesday, October 12, 2010


The window on our deck door is very difficult to open, so I've just been keeping the door propped open to allow fresh air into the house. I figure this way, any mice who've waited til the last minute to confirm their living arrangements for the winter can just come on in.

Tuesday, October 05, 2010

New Recipe

Erin: I think that was probably the worst dinner I have ever made us.
Richard: No comment.
E: Ha! I know it. [longpause] Wait. Are you saying 'no comment' because you can think of something worse? Or are you saying 'no comment' because you don't want to hurt my feelings my not agreeing with me?
R: No comment.
E: No! You have to tell me. I can't think of anything worse than what we ate tonight, but if I'm wrong, I need to know!
R: [longpause] I just don't ever want to have that again.
E: Ok.

Sunday, October 03, 2010

The Day My Brain Stopped Working

I needed to return some things to a popular children's store. I should have done it much sooner, but the truth is, I forgot. So, today, Mom and I headed to the mall to make my returns. I was anticipating a fairly large amount of cash for the clothing in my bag, but I wasn't too excited about it--I just had a plan. A plan to return the clothes, get the cash, deposit the cash. Bing, bang, boom. No worries. Easy peasy.
So...I'm chatting with the sales girl, she's scanning things, you know. And she says, "You know this is going to be in merchandise credit, right?"
I said, "Uh, no. That's not right. Cash was paid for these items. I'd like the cash back, please."
She said, "Well, since they were purchased more than 60 days ago, you can only get a merchandise credit."
I said, "Shoot. That's not what I thought would happen."

And then time stood still.

I literally did not know what to do. Return the clothes? Keep the clothes? Take the gift card? Throw a temper tantrum?
So, I said, "Isn't there anything you can do about this? Who is the manager?"
She said, "I'm the manager."
I said, "So, isn't there anything you can do about this?"
She said, "You can have the phone number for customer service...?"
I said, "Will customer service tell you to give me my money back?"
She said, "No."
I said, "Then, no thank you."

And then time stood still.

I still did not know what to do. My brain just could. not. figure. this. one. out.
While she stared at me, I literally closed my eyes and tried to SEE the right answer. It did not appear.
Finally my mom came over, "Is everything ok?"
I explained the situation to her and told her to just tell me what to do.
We ended up keeping the outfit that will still fit Shirley and took a merchandise credit for the rest of the clothing.
Later I said to my mom, "I'm really sorry, Mom. I thought it was safe to go in public again. Clearly I was wrong."
Let the record show: I made the wrong choice. I am returning the rest of the clothes tomorrow. Hopefully the cashier will be fluent in Post-Partum-PMS-Exhausted-Mommy-Speak. (Yes, that's a real condition.)