Dear Chain Restaurant Manager,
BELIEVE ME when I say I took no more pleasure in delivering the message than you did in hearing it when I had to tell you my son threw up under our table. I was mortified and worried and a bit fearful and concerned about those around us and the fact that we most likely ruined more meals than just our own.
I assure you I had already done my best to clean up the mess before I approached you because unless it's a true emergency, I don't think someone else should have to clean up my kid's puke.
Let me just encourage you that the next time you make a tearful mother wait while you finish your conversation and her husband RUNS their retching boy to the car in bitter cold, you might want to reconsider saying, "What do you want ME to do about it?"
Do whatever you want, but I'm not the restaurant manager with vomit in my dining room.
A Former Customer
p.s. I could hear you talking about me.