Thursday, July 31, 2008
Facebook is a tool. A tool used to spy on people. Facebook is supposed to be used to find out who got fat, pregnant, married, divorced, hired, fired, moved, and who was successful or a failure in life.
More importantly, it is for spying on your high school sweetheart to see if his wife is as ugly as you hope, your college nemesis who made freshman drama a nightmare and that guy with whom you should have gone to the prom. (Sigh.)
Sure, it's a networking tool, but save for a few friends that I like to encourage and love up by way of commenting on some photos (hi, Julianne!), Facebook, by and large, is for SPYING. Facebook is the layman's spyware.
Bumper stickers, fun walls, sports teams, etc., just serve to clutter pages and get in my way when I am trying to see the new photos you added from your vacation to Duluth. I'm DYING to see you swimming in those frigid waters, but I can't find your albums due to all the garbled nonsense filling up your profile page.
Let's clean up those pages, people, and use Facebook for it's God-given purpose. Spying, snooping, and exploring.
I'm just saying.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Last week Gertrude brought Richard a loaf of homemade pumpernickel bread. (YUM!) Not liking to send home an empty pan, SJ and I decided to make Katie's Prize Winning Apple Bread yesterday. I opted to double the recipe and make a loaf for us and for Gertrude.
Lauren says to always follow the recipe exactly the first time you make it. Good advice.
I mis-measured (of course) the apples and had nearly two cups extra of chopped fruit.
Richard suggested making a third loaf.
So I did.
Not one of them turned out. NOT ONE. They all fell. Totally caved in.
Did I discover this before I took Gertrude her loaf? No.
Did I have to call Gertrude and tell her that her loaf was mushy inside? Yes.
Did Richard and I eat the ends that were baked properly and throw the middles away? Yes.
Were they DELICIOUS? Yes.
Will I be trying again? Yes, but not before my pride recovers.
Note to self: when Katie says to bake for 55-65 minutes, and you're doing three loaves, 60 minutes is N.O.T. enough baking time.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Here's a photo of the whole fam. A legacy of Christ-followers. My great-great-grandmother's prayer (six generations ago, if you're counting) was that each generation after she was saved would come to know Christ. I believe this includes our spouses as well. God has been faithful in honoring her prayer. God is good to us!
Friday, July 25, 2008
Thursday, July 24, 2008
I wish I had greener thumbs. If I did, I would say, "I like begonias. They're so complicated." If I was a flower, I would be a begonia.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Monday, July 21, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Down, by Richard Adams is a beautiful novel, but I couldn't make
it past the first 100 pages. Here is my review.
Readability: Surprisingly tough (in a good way). I am
convinced that it is MY fault that I couldn't get into this book.
Predictability Factor: Something tells me the rabbits will have
many adventures, encounter much danger, and succeed in the end.
Recommend it? Yes, but only because I've heard such good things about it.
Overall Rating: Not applicable. I'm a weenie.
I hope you'll still be my friend. If it's any consolation, I gave it
five stars in my LibraryThing.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Not relaxing: Having to stand up three times to get the shampoo, then the soap, then the conditioner out of the shower caddy.
Even less relaxing: Having to "pump" after my nice, long, hot bath.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
You will then turn around dump all of the dirty water onto the carpet.
Haha! The reservoir doesn't seal!
p.s. I wish I could warn you further in advance, really, but it's just too funny.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Plain Truth by Jodi Picoult
Readability Factor: Easy and very engaging. Some scenes were hard to stomach as a new mother.
Predictability Factor: Either I'm too smart, or Picoult was too obvious. So well-written, however, that I invested myself in 400 pages hoping that I was wrong about "whodunnit," and the author would surprise me. Alas.
Couldn't Put it Down Factor: Five stars. (See why the ending was so disappointing?)
Recommend it? Sure. Just know this. Your first guess as to who did it is wrong. Your second guess is right.
Overall Rating: Four stars. Smart, intriguing, suspenseful and rich.
The Nanny Diaries by Emma Mclaughlin and Nicola Kraus
Readability Factor: Easy
Predictability Factor: I suppose it wasn't very predictable because I was so infuriated by the ending. Sososososo freaking mad about the ending. The romance, however, was too easy and predictable. To be honest, I'm not sure what this novel was really about. A nanny? A child? A romance? I'm still not clear.
Couldn't Put it Down Factor: Four stars (out of five).
Recommend it? Nosiree. Don't waste your freaking time. If you want to know how it ends, shoot me an email. My guess is that the movie has a much better ending than the book. How else would they even get the funding to film it? It was really THAT bad. I'm still stinging.
Overall Rating: Two stars. Cleverly-written, but an unprecidented waste of my time as someone getting closer to death every day.
Friday, July 11, 2008
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls."
This verse has always been a source of spiritual consternation for me. I am not that woman, and it bothers me. Don't get me wrong. I work hard at being a good wife and mother, but I often wonder if I'm working hard enough, if I could be working harder.
Last night, I stayed up late to finish The Nanny Diaries and was so PISSED OFF by the ending that I couldn't sleep. Really. It was that bad. (Incidentally, I'm never reading again. It seems impossible for someone to write a book with a good / original ending, so I quit. I can't bear to invest myself in another book only to be disappointed AGAIN.)
I was still awake (fuming) at 3:30 when it started storming outside and Richard woke up long enough to say, "The cat's outside."
So, feeling like a TERRIBLE mother, I got up to look for him. Finally, I woke Richard up and asked him to help. The storm instantly stopped and the cat came home.
He raced downstairs presumably to eat, which he promptly threw up all over the living room floor. We, of course, had just started to drift off.
We both whisper-swore so as not to wake the baby. Together we cleaned up cat barf at 4:30, and woke the baby up. I put her plug back in her mouth, praying that she would just go back to sleep...which she did.
Yesterday was worse. We spent FOUR HOURS at the mall doing pictures and came home with a baby so tired that she couldn't sleep. The coffee I bought in the morning and worked on all day couldn't have helped either. She finally crashed around 8, but not before she cried for 4 hours straight. One hour of crying for each hour we spent at the mall.
Today, I've been trying to be productive, but I SWEAR if I step in ONE. MORE. CINNAMON. TOAST. CRUNCH. I. AM. GOING. TO. LOSE. MY. FREAKING. MIND.
Where are they coming from? I have swept, vacuumed, sicked Pedro on them.
WHERE ARE THEY COMING FROM?????
* * *
The baby is finally napping now, and what am I doing? Blogging.
I have to go.
I have to nap on my sheet-less bed. Am I in college again?
Don't tell me how sorry you are. It's ok. Just one of those nights. Who knows...maybe after my nap I'll find it amusing.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
I don't like you; not at all.
Yes, I'm nearly six feet tall,
but you have more feet than them all.
Just stay where you are, you nasty little creature.
You spawn of satan.
Product of the Fall.
Stay where you are and I won't touch you, and you won't get out of my kleenex and crawl (faster than a Nebraska cockroach) up my arm.
In fact, stay where you are until morning so that you can get out of Richard's kleenex and crawl up Richard's arm. I think Richard would handle that a lot better than I would.
Please stop pooping under the clothesline. I mean, I don't want to punch a gift horse in the mouth, but...please.
No more midnight romps for you.
The driveway is a long way away from the house when Mommy is in her nightgown.
If you can't be quiet when you are outside, you won't get to go outside anymore.
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Sunday, July 06, 2008
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Erin: Hi, Gertrude!*
Gertrude: Does Richard like heavy bread?
G: We bought this bread and we don't like it, but I thought Richard might like it.
E: Well, thank you, Gertrude!!
E: Hi, Gertrude!
G: Can you get me Richard?
E: He's not here, he's working.
G: Oh, well, will you see if he can fix my alarm clock? I can't make it work.
E: Here, I can help you.
G: No, give it to Richard.
E: Hi, Gertrude.
G: Can I ask Richard if he likes shrimp?
E: I'm sorry Gert, he's not here, he's working.
G: Well, I got you some frozen shrimp for your holiday weekend.
E: That is so thoughtful of you! Thank you.
G: When will Richard be home?
E: Oh, not for a while now. It's just me and the baby. Do you want to come in?
G: No. Cute kid.
If old Gert was about 50 years younger, I think I would be worried. I'm hoping tomorrow she'll bring some of HER MONEY.
*Names have been changed.
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
I don't know what you're looking for.
NO ONE writes memos anymore.
We have email in the real world.
Your grading scale is preposterous.
This class isn't even related to our...uh, Richard's...major!
I'll get you, my pretty.
p.s. Does this memo follow your freaking outline???