Monday, December 11, 2006

Come here, Drummer Boy...

Does anybody else hate the Little Drummer Boy?
Is he actually in the Christmas Story, in the Bible? No.
I'd like to kick him. And pinch him. The drummer boy takes away any happy feelings I might be feeling about Christmas--family, memories, finding that perfect gift...and replaces them with pure unadulterated irritation. To me, the drummer boy encompasses everything that is annoying, frustrating, and just plain BAD about Christmas. Put yourself in my shoes. I'm out, running the many, many errands that are necessary at this time of year, I'm enjoying myself, humming along with the radio when suddenly, I hear a vaguely familiar melody. I shake my head, trying to rid myself of the melody as I change the station, but it's too late. It's stuck with me.
"Par-um-pa-pum-pum..."
And it won't leave. For the rest of the day, "Par-um-pa-pum-pum..."
Come here, drummer. I'll pru-um you.
Since the offending percussionist is not actually the real Christmas story, and is part of a song made up in 1958, I nominate that we vote him off the island. I want him out of Christmas alltogether.
What do you think, friends and brethren? Can we send him away to live in a gingerbread house somewhere in Siberia, along with all the other Christmas irritations? You know, Rudolph, cell phone salesmen, and every mall-hired Santa in the world?
Who else should we vote off Christmas Island? I want to know what irritates you in this season. Don't hold back, folks. What bugs you that takes away from the real joy of this season?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Erin D. hates fun
pa rum pa pum pum
she kicks little kids
pa rum pa pum pum
she spits right in their eye
pa rum pa pum pum
and tries to make them cry
pa rum pa pum pum
rum pa pum pum
rum pa pum pum

We should love her though
pa rum pa pum pum
give her a hug and let her know
pa rum pa pum pum
she makes our life so fun
pa rum pa pum pum
even though she hates my drum
pa rum pa pum pum
rum pa pum pum
rum pa pum pum.

I still love you Erin!
Love, LDB

erin said...

Too-SHAY!
But seriously, no hugs.

Anonymous said...

I would like to vote Barbara Streisand and Neil Diamond off the Christmas island. Isn't it wrong for Jews to make money off a holiday celebrating the birth of the Messiah they don't believe in?