Self: Time to try the Neti Pot.
Myself: Yeah! It's not even 7am yet. Let's go for it!
Self: Oprah recommends it and I'm about ready to try anything.
Myself: Well if Oprah recommends it...
Myself: Well if Oprah started a school in Africa for underpriveledged girls, would you start one, too?
Self: Don't be stupid.
Myself: Fine. Go nuts. There's no way this is going to end well.
Self: OK, empty the packet of salt, run the hot water, stir and...bottoms up!
Myself: Bottoms up!
Self: Nostril one--not so bad! On to the next.
Myself: Tip your head back...thaaaat's the way.
Self: What's this?!? NO! No! NOOO this is all wrong! There's not supposed to be salt water coming out my mouth![Gag! Gag, hack, cough. Tears.]
Myself: Oh yeah...you're supposed to tip your head FORWARD, stupid.
Self: We are in a fight.
Myself: You did this to yourself.