It's pretty well known that Satan will attack us where he knows we are weakest, right?
For some reason, my weakenesses are almost always fear-based.
If I get really angry, sad, let myself be overcome with worry, or fall down in general, I can usually trace my failure back to some root fear that I cannot EVER seem to escape.
Well, without going into the gory details, I have been having some very serious issues with emotionally paralyzing fear. You know the kind? The kind that stops you mid-breath and makes you question whether or not you can continue INHALING?
Well, until about an hour ago, Satan had me so confused by fear that once I got over one particular fear (or so I thought), he had another one waiting for me on the other side of the bathroom door. Literally.
I prayed and cried with Richard about it, and then came upstairs to check the blogs and read My Utmost for His Highest.
Once again, Chambers (http://www.rbc.org/utmost/index.php) proves to be proufound. (Thank you, God for using this man's writing so eloquently in my life.)
"I [...] have to build my thinking patiently to bring it into perfect harmony with my Lord. God will not make me think like Jesus— I have to do it myself. I have to bring 'every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ' (2 Corinthians 10:5). 'Abide in Me'— in intellectual matters, in money matters, in every one of the matters that make human life what it is."
Oh, there is so much to talk about here!
The most important part to me, tonight at 1:36am?
I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MY OWN FEARFUL THOUGHTS!!
I can ask God to help me remove specific images from my mind, but it's MY responsibility, not HIS, to focus on Godly things. This, to me, means that I need to trust God in the areas that I worry about (hel-LO! Aren't fear and WORRY essentially one in the same??)
Is focusing on my fear Godly?
2 Chorinthians 10:5 in its entirety says, "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." (ebible.com)
Now look at the way I've been thinking about it:
"We demolish arguments [posed by Satan against our ultimate goal of glorifying God IN. ALL. THINGS.] and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of [thoughts, focus on] God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ [ERIN!!! GOD DOESN'T WANT YOUR THOUGHTS TO BE TAKEN UP BY FEAR. THAT IS NOT 'OBEDIENT TO CHRIST.']
God is so faithful to us when we cry out to Him.
I just had to share.