Monday, June 29, 2009

An Honest Answer

Recently a question was posed for me:
Big hair, big purse, big boobs, big dreams. If you could only choose one, which would it be?
Let me answer you with a little story:

I met a friend (who shall remain nameless...let's call her Masha) for dinner the other night and handed her Shirley Jean over the table, who immediately reached for Masha's enormous Mountain Dew. Masha responsibly went to move the Mountain Dew out of SJ's reach, when everything went very, very wrong.
The Mountain Dew spilled - nay - exploded all over me. It was like a tidal wave of sticky yellowness that hit my body at first fast, then slow. Fast, because the shock of the cold was stunning, and then slow as I realized how much of me was soaked. It was amazing, really. It defied logic. It defied physics. It defied how much Mountain Dew was actually in the cup.
Instantly, both Masha and I cried, "THE PURSE!"
Instead of hopping out of my seat like a sane person, I sat in a pool of Mountain Dew, felt it soaking through to my underwear, felt it roll down my left leg...until I was assured that the purse would bear no stains.

So...to answer your question, I choose big boobs.

6 comments:

kristi noser said...

liar

Cara said...

LOVE it.

Melissa said...

Thanks for the laugh :)

swirlingeddy said...

You had me at "enormous Mountain Dew."

sasha malena said...

ok, that sucked. i hope that never happens again! it may have looked like you peed your pants but i almost pooped in mine.

Karla with a K said...

You're hilarious!