Happy Halloween...

Interesting fact--the tradition of carving pumpkins comes from Ireland (which is not all that surprising due to the Celt's love of anything dark and twisty--aka, Pagan). A very clever farmer named Jack tricked the devil into climbing a very tall tree. While the devil was in the tree, Jack carved a cross in the trunk of the tree so the devil could not come down. Years later, when Jack died (not sure what happened to the devil--is he still in the tree?), he couldn't get into heaven because of his sin, and couldn't get into hell because of his trickery. He was doomed to roam the earth alone, so, he carved out a turnip and put a light inside to use as a lantern. Because of this, he became known as "Jack of the Lantern," and we carry on his tradition today, but with pumpkins instead of turnips because--who wants to carve a turnip?

Naomi and I carved pumpkins last night, and I think I may be reaching an unattractive point in my love for my pets. I carved a Kitty and a Pedro. They turned out pretty funny. We had so many seeds from three pumpkins that we roasted three different flavors. We made Spiced Seeds, which are coated in butter, garlic salt, and worsteschire (?) sauce. We made Cayenne Pepper Seeds, which are toasted in salt and cayenne pepper (yummy!), and finished with a new and dangerous flavor--Cinnamon and Salt. I was nervous about this flavor but it's DELICIOUS. All you do is sprinkle salt and cinnamon on your seeds, roast at 350 for 5 minutes, stir, and roast for 20 more minutes. To. Die. For.

Cinnamon and salt,

a dangerous combo, friends.

Three words--To. Die. For!

Mr. Congeniality

OK, so we didn't win the Costume Contest.
We were beat out by some kids. I should have known! I should have gotten some kids to help me win. Oh well. They dressed their Boxer, Roxie, up as a deer, and wore deer hunter outfits. It was pretty cute.
We DID win 2nd place in the obstacle course, though, despite a questionable "Dragging by the Leash" flag raised by none other than my husband.
I was overwhelmed with thankfulness that our class is so small, because when you gather all the dogs from all 3 training classes, things get a little out of hand. Let's just say that I'm thrilled to death that the Minpin belonging to the 4 year-old, and the Golden Retriever and the sheepdog owned by the Disgustingtons are in other classes. (Seriously, what's hard about getting your child to take a bath?)

I think you'll enjoy these photos.



Erin and Pedro at home before the big contest. (Despite what it looks like in this photo, no, I am not pregnant. Thanks for asking, though.)

Pedro showing off his WINNING costume.

Pedro bobbing for tennis balls.

Pedro near his prize for losing at Tennis Ball bobbing--most likely wanting to attack the incredibly irritating MinPin near us. (Thank goodness they're not in our class!)

Lost in the Cosmos

Did astrologers use Pluto to determine our horoscopes?
I bet they feel dumb if they did.

My haiku for today is DEEP.

There's no more Pluto;
Nothing new under the sun.
What to use instead?

Happy HOWL-oween!

So, Pedro's dog training class is having their annual
"HOWL-oween Costume Contest and Training Party."
Of course, I'm going to dress him as Napoleon Dynamite in a "Vote for Pedro" t-shirt. I honestly think we might win. Maybe I have a sick sense of humor (hence naming the dog Pedro in the first place), but I think it's the funniest thing I've thought of in a long time. Not that it's really a creative stretch, but come on.
I don't care who you are--that's funny. ( :
My excitement was tarnished briefly at Wal-Mart yesterday when I approached someone stocking the children's clothing and asked, "Can you show me where the tiniest white t-shirts are that you sell?"
She saw the iron-on letters in my hand and said, "Are you making a costume for your baby?!?"
And I had to say, "No...it's for my dog."
I felt a little foolish, especially when it became clear that she didn't want to help once she realized that this was a canine costume, but won't she feel like an arse when I bring home the grand prize!
I hope it's money.

p.s. Anyone who knows what a "Training Party" is, let me know. I thought the words were mutually exclusive.

God's Green Earth: Appliances Fight Back

I literally dragged Richard all over God's Green Earth last night looking for the PERFECT coffee maker. I could have picked one out for myself, but I was having trouble because I only wanted to spend about $20, but I'm tired of $20 coffee pots, you know? I was about to just pick the $50 pot when he said, "What about this one? It'd be perfect for us--it only makes 4 cups."

That's when it all came rushing back to me.

I already had one of those little 4-cuppers. It was at home, in the bottom cupboard, behind the crock pot. I had completely forgotten that Chris and Katie Sandquist gave it to us when we got married. I used it about 10 times and put it away when mom gave us her old one (which figures, since it was on the fritz--thanks, mom).
I told Richard all of this, and he very graciously said that it was ok that I dragged him from Roseville to Woodbury and back, and could we just go eat now.
I felt a little foolish.
The coffee was great this morning, though!

Brokedown Appliances

This morning, my coffee pot (appliance #1) died. It must be getting hot enough to brew, but then by the time it hits the cold pot, I have cold coffee. Apparently the burner has burned out--or perhaps has actually started COOLING the coffee. Yes.
I intend to put up plastic over our windows (due to the extreme lack of insulation in our home), but my blow dryer (app #2) doesn't get hot enough to make the plastic tight over the windows.
And finally, my curling iron / straightener is a cool gadget (app #3). I just got it the other day, and immediately dropped it on the floor. The lock that holds the straightener closed so that I can use it as a curling iron broke, and now only keeps the straightener closed part of the time so that it keeps POPPING open and smacking me in the head. So far, because of this, I have only burned my ear once. It's getting exchanged tonight.
I tried to order the perfect coffee maker from walmart.com, but they can't garauntee that it will be here before November 6. I guess I'll just have to go actually pick one out. Either that or drink cold coffee...
Ugh.
Despite all these disasters, I'm in a pretty good mood! I got to go to an impromptu birthday party last night and have some much needed laughs.

Give me my coffee,
Need a hotter blow dryer,
Just don't burn my head!

Weak. Can anybody give me a better haiku? I'm a little rusty.

Updates

Jeff will be ok--thank you very sincerely, everyone for your prayers and support. He is home now, and resting comfortably.
I don't have a whole lot to share other than that I never thought I'd say I was glad the weekend was over! Talk about an emotional roller coaster! My tummy is having trouble settling down...
Richard is finally home safe and sound, and maybe life will go back to normal for a little while! (Please note that by "normal" I mean INSANELY busy.)
Today is Naomi's birthday, so be sure to wish her a
Happy Golden Birthday, Naomi!!!
Happy 25th Birthday, Carla!!
(and Dave?)

Har, har.

Rejected Names for Nerds Candy.
BY HANNAH SCHAEFER
- - - -
Jocks
Cheerleaders
Sluts
Hicks
Hipsters
Bandos

McSweeneys

Prayer Request

Yesterday morning, Jeff, my brother-in-law was in a car accident. He fell asleep at the wheel and hit a tree. We don't know how fast he was going, and he doesn't remember anything.
He was rushed to the hospital where they treated and have been treating his hand (several stitches), broken lower jaw, and lacerated spleen.
He will be ok, but they will keep him for a while to make sure his spleen doesn't bleed out.
The entire ordeal was very emotional on a lot of levels--over the day I felt fear, anxiety, frustration, anger, joy, comfort, exhaustion, and true, honest gratitude especially to Bia for showing such selfless love to my family. She was there with Jeff before any of us got there and stayed much longer than the rest of us. The love of Christ comes in all forms, and it seems that Bia is tuned-in to whatever God wanted to use her for yesterday.
I left work early to go visit him, and then went with Brenda to sign his car over to the tow guy, which, believe it or not, was NOT an easy thing. Let me suffice it to say that the guy at Budget Towing off of W. 7th Street in St. Paul needs to work on his communication skills.
Brenda and I spent an hour or more cleaning out Jeff's destroyed Cavalier. The engine is the only thing that stopped the tree from coming all the way through the car. It seemed like the fact that we had a job to do in cleaning out the car made it easier to deal with the crisis. I was impressed with how calm and collected Brenda was through the whole ordeal. I think I wasn't the only one who was anointed with the Holy Sprit yesterday.
We took everything out of Jeff's car and put it into bags and carried it out of the tow yard.
Brenda and I were both dressed relatively nicely when we started the whole ordeal, and as you can imagine, it wasn't a very clean job cleaning out a wrecked car (a bottle of Tide had exploded in the trunk, among other things), so as we picked out clothing from Jeff's car, we chose the cleanest pieces and put them on. I actually changed pants in the middle of the tow yard. I figure, give the jerk in the office a thrill. Talk about a winner.
The point is, I prayed for anointing all day. I knew I couldn't be what Brenda needed (whatever she needed) without help from God, which He provided. And also, shave your legs because you never know when you may need to strip down to your underwear in an impound lot.

Please keep our family in your prayers. Richard is in Pennsylvania this weekend, and being so far away when Jeff is hurt is really hard on him. Pray that the Lord will bless our interactions and help us to make good decisions. And pray that I can continue to be whatever Richard's family needs me to be.

Smackem Crackem

Today over lunch I had to run to Cub to pick up a few things.
I turned down the aisle to park and had to stop and wait for an elderly woman in a turquoise Plymouth Relient (sp? don't care--you'll all make fun anyway--please see Pet peeve #7.). I watched, horrified, as she hit two, count'em, TWO cars while trying to back into a parking spot.
It went like this:
Car One
Stop at an angle in the aisle.
Back up, back up, back up, smack.
Forward.
Back up, back up, smack, crack, scrape.
Forward.
Turn wheel hard (take a long time to do so).
Car Two
Back up, back up, back up, SMACK.
Forward, scraaaaaaaape.
Back up, smack, crack.
Forward, scrape.
Back up into parking spot.

Smackem crackem, Ma'am.
Of course I think you should keep
your driver's license.

Strange Things Happen in Bars

It's true.
The other night we went to a birthday party / Hand Fest '06 for the boyfriend of a good friend of mine from college. The party was the celebration of Matt's 25th birthday, and the 3rd anniversary of the day he sliced his hand open. It was a typical birthday party--games, ice cream cake (with a frosting-drawn cut-off hand), and a few beers.
After a couple of hours, we decided to head to a favorite bar in St. Paul called the Muddy Pig. We took over two tables at the back of the bar and laughed and talked.
We'd been sitting there for about a half hour when my foot touched something soft on the floor. Thinking I had dropped my scarf, I felt around and picked up what was down there.
It was not a scarf.
It was a red, leopard-print thong.
Of course, horror overtook our table, and then hilarity. Being that we had had a few drinks, the germ factor was not at the front of all of our minds, but I'd like to go on record to say that I only held it long enough to determine that it was from Fredericks of Hollywood, and was a Large.
Joe, the guy sitting next to me, grabbed it out of my hand and flung it across the room. It hit some girl in the left breast and landed in her lap.
This, of course, brought about more hilarity, because, of course, she flipped, but had no idea where it had come from (can I get any more commas in that sentence?,,,). I'm thinking she had had more than a few because it wouldn't have taken much to figure out who had flung it, considering the fact that we were practically rolling on the floor with laughter.
Somehow, a few minutes later, the undies ended up on the floor again in front of Joe, who picked them up and put them around his neck.
It was at this point that we discovered that it was a red, leopard-print MEN'S thong.


You can't make this shit up.

Blog Harassment Dipped in Chocolate--and at only $5 a bag!

I'm getting Blog Harassed.
I'm SORRY it's been over a week. I've been busy.

So here's what I've got for you today. I keep a secret stash of Dove DARK chocolate in my desk drawer. (If I leave it out, the vulchers I call my co-workers eat it ALL.)
My Dove Promise for today was this, "Collect 10 different kinds of tree leaves." Can I get a resounding "GAY."? Or if you're more inclined, "LAME."
I HATE Dove Promises. I have a friend whose mom actually wrote to Dove Chocolate to tell them how stupid their "promises" are. For those of you who don't know, a Dove Promise is a little...fortune...on the inside of the foil your ridiculously expensive chocolate came wrapped in.
I'm thinking of boycotting Dove because of these stupid phrases. They don't make me feel good, they make me irritable. YOU go collect 10 different kinds of tree leaves, you weird Dove-hippies. I'd be thrilled to have enough time to file my nails and remove the makeup smudges from under my eyes BEFORE two meetings in the morning, let alone go leaf collecting.
Yessiree. That's it. I'm through with Dove.
Just as soon as I'm done with this bag.

Rough Seas

I'm having trouble keeping the lid screwed on today. Every time I start to feel like I have a handle on what I'm doing at work, or get the house under control, or get the spending down, I start to drown again.
God has a sense of humor, though. I've been thinking this thought, specifically that "I start to drown," for about a week now. This morning, one of my co-workers likened my current confusion to a title wave. She said, "If you can just get past the crest of this title wave of knowledge, you'll be out to sea and sailing peacefully in no time." Of course, she had no idea that I felt like I was drowning.
She was trying to encourage me, which was nice, I guess I'd just like to know how long this title wave will last...

Good One.

STORIES THAT WOULD HAVE TURNED OUT DIFFERENTLY IF THE PROTAGONISTS HAD HAD CELL PHONES.
BY PETER NORVIG

ROMEO:News from Verona! How now, Balthasar?Dost thou not bring me letters from the friar?How doth my lady? Is my father well?How fares my Juliet? That I ask again,For nothing can be ill if she be well.
BALTHASAR:Then she is well, and nothing can be ill.Her body sleeps in Capel's monument, And her immortal part with angels lives. I saw her laid low in her kindred's vaultAnd presently took post to tell it you. O, pardon me for bringing these ill news,Since you did leave it for my office, sir.
ROMEO: Is it e'en so? Then I defy you, stars!But soft! What SMS through yonder RAZR breaks?
SMS ON ROMEO'S PHONE:i'm ok -- poison fake rofl cul8r :-*

Thanks, again, Tim.

Little Old Blue-Haired Ladies

It's official. I'm an old lady. Instead of washing my hair this morning, I just curled and teased it, and I think it looks pretty good. Strange thing, though--I think it's starting to turn blue.
Weird.
Speaking of little old blue-haired ladies, I forgot to tell you about Richard and my stumble at the Dome on Tuesday. After the game we had to make our way down from the ceiling (my ears popped on the way down, I swear), and we were about 5 rows down when I thought, "Wow...this is really slippery. I'd better hold on tight, I don't want to fall."
No sooner had the thought crossed my mind when Richard fell down behind me taking my feet out from under me. We must have looked like dominos. The coke Richard was holding went EVERYWHERE and finally landed in one of the seats, which is where we left it. Rich caught himself with his hands, but I was not so lucky. I caught myself with the backs of my forearms which immediately began to swell. I sat there for a second, covered in coke, and assessed my injuries, which were not bad, luckily. Richard started apologizing immediately--I think to everyone around us, and tried to help me up. The whole ordeal couldn't have lasted longer than 30 seconds, which was long enough for a little blue-haired lady to pass us and say, "Are you ok?"
The irony was not lost on me.

Little old lady,
You look cute in your jersey.
Thank you for asking.

Playoffs, Baby!

I have 9.4 hours of vacation accrued here. I used 4 hours of it yesterday and intend to use 4 of it today to go to the playoffs games! Yesterday was a disappointing loss to the Oakland A's, and just not a very exciting game all around. It's not very thrilling when your team only has 5 hits in the ENTIRE game.
I just don't think there is anything more fun than going to the Metrodome to watch baseball. I know most people HATE the Metrodome, but I love it. It holds so many great memories for me, that every time I go there I feel excited and anxious all over again--like it's my first time at a game.
The seats I bought from the ticket line are...terrible. They are obstructed view, so I knew what I was getting myself into, but I didn't know they would be BLOCKED view. It didn't matter much, though, because part of the fun of sitting in the nosebleed section is that you're surrounded by 25-year-olds who don't care where you sit, so we were able to shift around and see the entire disappointing game.
Today, though, our seats are AWESOME! We will be along the first base line, right by Justin Morneau, only 30 rows back, so be sure to watch for us in the crowd! I'll be the crazy screaming fan wearing a Santana t-shirt and my pink Twins hat. I should be easy to spot.

2006 Central Division Champs!

Talk about the FUNNEST game of all time. Rich and I were lucky enough to go with another couple and I swear, I have never had so much fun at a ball game. The best part was when they started playing the Detroit game on the Jumbo-Tron and the Twins came back out to the dug out to watch with us. As I'm sure you can imagine, the Metrodome went CRAZY!
What a fun game.

Congratulations to the Twins on their win, and to Joe Mauer (my boyfriend) on beating out Derek Jeter (ugh) for the American League Batting Title. He sends you all his love.