I would like to extend a literary handshake to the brilliant mind that came up with STRETCH JEANS.
Which bozo on your board of directors said, "I have a great idea! Let's make all of our jeans 98% cotton and 2% lycra from now on! We'll replace ALL of our jeans with stretchy jeans and make it impossible to find a regular pair of jeans anywhere!!!"? I'd like to meet him.
How do I know it's a "him?" It can't have been a woman. No self-respecting woman looks forward to having a "saggy butt" after two hours of wearing her jeans that fit fine this morning.
If I wanted my jeans to sag and fall down as I walk from the parking lot to work on my FIVE "Nice Jeans Days" out of the year, I would buy them that way.
Yes, I paid $25 to a charity for the priveledge of wearing jeans every Friday between now and Thanksgiving. Yes, this is something I greatly look forward to. Sad? Perhaps.
Not the point.
I want my $25 back. From you.
The joy of "Nice Jeans Days" is smeared all over the pavement like a dead raccoon because I have to pull my pants up all day. All day. A belt does not help. The pants stretch and sag AROUND the belt.
I want my $25 back, because that's at least what it cost me in pride for knowing that my boss saw my ass crack this morning when I reached under my desk to turn on my heater. Not because my jeans were inappropriately low. Oh, no. Because they fit at 7:30 this morning, and by 9, they were three sizes too big.
Thank you very much, Levis.
Please send the check to my home.
Sincerely pissed off and stretched out,
Erin
9 comments:
I for one love stretch jeans. But my rear is bigger than yours. Maybe more Oreos? Just thinkin'.
Maybe you could stand under the hair dryer at work and hum a little...maybe they'll shrink just like they do in the dryer. If not, you may have a chance for a duet...in the bathroom.
Barthman was actually asked to leave by the rest of the band. McConniville and i were talking about it and it sounded like the rest of the guys didn't think he was taking the band seriously enough. It's a bummer but I'm sure Simon made the right decision.
LOL!!! DARE you to send it!! ;-)
Dear Erin, Perhaps your bedonkadonk magically shrinks when you get to work. That could explain super relaxed jeans. Well, it could happen, in our dreams, it could!
I have no idea how I found your site but I thought I would share that I too have a dog named Pedro...and still find humor in it every day!
Maybe you will appreciate your stretch jeans when your belly starts to protrude? I do! :)
Boy am I glad I'm a dude. And I'm even gladder I'm not that dude at Levi's.
Today I saw a girl with legs up to her chin and approximately -4% body fat wearing high-waisted skinny jeans. This is normally where I'm supposed to say she looked good...but she didn't. She looked awful! I completely sympathize - who ARE these people?!
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