Sideways Corduroy Pants

"At last, horizontal corduroy pants. Made in San Francisco and only sold online, Cordarounds are the most aerodynamic pants on earth."
Not to mention, no more thigh-rubbing-induced forest fires!

Facebook Brain

Erin is baking cupcakes.
Erin should go to bed.
Erin didn't realize it was 3am.
Erin thinks people who said rice cereal would help SJ sleep through the night are full of crap.
Erin wants new curtains.
Erin wants new carpet.
Erin wants a clean kitchen floor.
Erin wants to throw away her house and get a new one.
Erin thinks she might start improving her current house one flat surface at a time.
Erin could go for a coke.
Erin is laying awake staring at the ceiling, thinking about what Erin is doing right now.
Erin is wondering how much longer this will last.
Erin is tired of being stuck in third person and blames Facebook.
Erin thinks she might have a problem.

A Good Day

So far, today has been a very good day--and it's only half over!

At the Mall of America, the Christian Fiction Writers Association had a book signing. There were 120 Christian Fiction Writers there, among whom was one of my favorite authors, Tosca Lee.

Tosca is a friend of my Aunt Kris, and she and I have exchanged email on several occasions, but I had not yet had the chance to meet her. She wrote a book last year called Demon: a Memoir, that stands alone in the relatively sucky world of Christian Fiction. It was really fun to get to meet her because, like I said, she stands out. If I were to write a book, I would want it to be on the edge and make people think the way Tosca's does. Too many Christian books are sugary sweet and don't deal with real issues and spiritual battle. Tosca is not afraid to go there, which I greatly appreciate.

I have not yet written a review on Demon, but I think I will in the near future. It is up for the AFCW 2008 Book of the Year. Good luck, Tosca!

I also got to meet John B. Olson who was one of the writers for Ben Stein's Expelled that came out earlier this year in theaters. Verrrry cool.

Confession

Today, on the way home from the doctor's office, I pulled up to a stoplight. At the same time, I reached behind me to give Shirley Jean her pacifier. Somehow, in doing so, I LAID on the horn.
Scared myself so bad I peed a little.

Oil Diddy

This made me laugh and cry at the same time.
Source:
TIME Magazine.
Vol. 172, No. 11, 2008, page 16.

My Heroes

Question:

Are men truly unafraid of mice, or do they just pretend for our benefit?

Thank you, Grandpa Bob, Richard and Pedro for rescuing me from my mouse today.

Kitty, you are a worthless beast. In fact, I would be willing to bet good money (that could happily be spent on something else like coffee or a new outfit for the baby) that you probably brought the mouse IN the house.

ZAP!

This is for Brandy.

Where you lead, I will follow...

This morning I said to Richard, "Have you noticed that when the living area is cleaned up, the bedrooms are a mess, and when the bedrooms are cleaned up, the living area is a mess?"
He said, "I think the mess is wherever you are."

Stop me if you've heard this one...

Dear Past Erin,
Bring more than $60 to Aldi's.
Seriously.
Sincerely,
Future Erin

Book Review

Atonement by Ian McEwan
Synopsis: England, summer of 1935. The world is on the verge of its second world war. Thirteen-year-old Briony views, from her bedroom window, a puzzling scene, then is privy to a turn of events, which she very seriously misunderstands. The novel takes us through most of Europe and World War II. I fear I've already said too much.

Readability: Hard to get into at first (in my opinion due mostly in part to the fact that it harkens a little too much to Virginia Woolf [ahem]), but completely captivating, nevertheless. Even when I had trouble getting into it, I still couldn't stop thinking about it.

Predictability: To the bitter, bitter end, I had absolutely no idea what was going to happen. Talk about twists and turns!

Couldn't Put it Down Factor: Let me paint a picture for you. It took me a full week to read the first 100 pages. I read the remaining 400 pages in 36 hours. I exaggerate not.

Recommend it?: YESSSSSSSSSSS! Be warned, however, that part of Briony's misunderstanding revolves around a very, VERY bad word. Truly shocking. In fact, I thought, "Why would the author DO that??" And then, as I kept reading (because I couldn't stop), it all became clear. Regardless, I would hate to recommend a book only to offend someone... There is some other colorful language, but less than is in most movies these days.
Overall Rating: Four and a half stars. Minus one half because I just can't bear to give it a perfect five. Yes, I would be that kind of teacher.

The Movie: Love, love, LOVED it! L.O.V.E.D. it. Lovedit. DO read the book first. You'll enjoy the movie either way, but it was so nice to "hear" the actors thoughts, ifyouknowwhatimean.

In Two: My Own Lament

Warning: This post contains the ugly contents of my heart.

An unexpected song that I had never heard brought me to my knees tonight in the car.
I don't know why, but I guess I thought I was the only one who had the power to tear her husband apart with her words.
I know there are exceptions to this rule, but many men are not able to do as much damage as quickly as I can, and with as little effort. Certainly not Richard.
And why don't we talk about it? When was the last time I said to a girlfriend, "I disrespected my husband today and tore him down in a way that only I can."? I so desire to banish this sort of thing from my attitude toward the man I married, but still, I snarl and snap without thinking twice. More often than I care to admit.
And it's just so commonplace to humiliate and belittle. Women do it ALL. THE. TIME. After it happens, I am embarrassed and disgusted, and have to seek forgiveness from my husband, but still, I'll do it again. Why can't I control my tongue? I long to use my words to build him up--not tear him down.

Here's the song that touched me so much tonight. It's something to think about, anyway:

In Two (The Lament), by Jennifer Knapp
Finish up your coffee, love
it's getting cold
let's finish up this fight tonight
before the sun draws nigh and I'm old

Have mercy on me I'm a girl
though I'm cruel and you cry
I won't shiver cause I know how to break a man
I know how to break a man in two

Still you're suffering, my love
o, who's to blame?
you might be tired,
but I'm not through fanning the flame

Have mercy on me I'm a girl
though I'm cruel and you cry
I won't shiver cause I know how to break a man
I know how to break a man in two

o, by the tiding of my tounge
I lie and sing what can't be unsung
my soul torn in two by the things I say to
you by the things that I say

I know how to break us man, in two

Blogtations

Gavin's Baptism

Our nephew, Gavin Jeffrey was baptized on Saturday evening. I was especially touched by the ceremony, because I pray earnestly every day that little Gavin will know Jesus. Here are some photos from the evening.

Grandma-time before the service. Cute, right?

Our first EVER decent family photo!
Sweet Gavin.

His Christening gown is 67 years old. His mother (Stacy) and other relatives were also baptized in it, and each of their names are embroidered along its hem.

Three generations. : ) Here's to many, many more.


"The boys."

Answers

1. False. I love Ellen Degeneres. I think she's REALLY funny.
2. True. I do, frequently, wear my pajamas inside out. Tags and seams bother me. Why be uncomfortable?
3. True. I dislike reading poetry. Save for Jenna's and Shakespeare.
4. True. I do enjoy hip hop. I fear, though, that I'm getting too old for it...
5. False. I hate the stupid drummer boy. I want to vote him off the Christmas island.

I just want to say that my pop quiz ALMOST led to the world's most boring comments ever. Thanks to those of you who tried to jazz things up.

Also, Kelli, please go back and re-read the directions. If you chose to re-do, I am willing to give you 70% credit.

Pop Quiz

In honor of school starting, I've decided to give you all a pop quiz. About me. It's true or false. Books closed.

1. I HATE Ellen Degeneres.

2. I wear my pajamas inside out.

3. I dislike reading poetry.

4. I love hip hop.

5. My favorite Christmas carol is "Little Drummer Boy."

Somebody else give us a pop-quiz.

How about:

Kristi

Cara

Swampy

Dear Chocolate Fudge Brownie,

Why don't you come over here and sit by me.
I love you,
Erin
p.s. Tell Ben & Jerry they can come, too.

Mom's New Toy

I came. I rode. I hated.

Sorry, Mom. I think you are the cutest thing to ever ride a scooter, but I don't think I'll be frequenting ol' Buddy. It's just not meant for me.

True statement.

By the Book

Watch this. Seriously. The whole thing.

Tag, I'm it.

Ten Years Ago: in June, my family moved from Hudson to Decatur, Alabama where I started my junior year of high school. I was the team captain of the golf team and kicked butt in all my English classes.

My To-Do List Today:
1. Finish the laundry.
2. Pack to leave town.
3. Clean up the house.

Snack that I Enjoy: Anything salty!

Things I Would Do if I was a Millionaire: Pay off debt. Buy a new house with a garage for Richard and a room for MEEEE! Set up SJ for college. Adopt children.

Places I've Lived:
St. Paul, MN
Hudson, WI
Norman, OK
Hudson again.
Decatur, AL
Hudson again.
Eau Claire, WI
(Do we count Little Rock, AR?)
Dalkeith, Scotland
Baldwin, WI
Roseville, MN

Tag! You're It!
Jodi
Kristi
Jessie Jewell
Angie

Nets

(19)“Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.”
(20) At once they left their nets and followed him.
-Matthew 4:19-20

I'm not sure if many of you have noticed, but I haven't had much to say lately.
I've been in a bit of a funk.
I confess, lonliness, sadness and fear have been my frequent companions here at home.
I knew what was bothering me, but not why it was bothering me so much.
Shirley Jean is ready for solids. Rice cereal.
Now...this is not a big deal. I know. But for some reason, I am really struggling with this milestone. And now I think I know why.
Mid-breakdown tonight, I said to Richard, "I just didn't expect this to be so painful."
He said, "You didn't expect WHAT to be so painful?"
I said, "I watch her grow and change every day, and every day she is getting further away from me."
As I laid on our bed in a pile of tissues, I thought to myself, "God doesn't ever have to feel this way. It's not fair."
What a stupid thing to think. God watches us move further away from him all the time. Some very, very far. Some wander away and wander back. If doing my job as a mother is this agonizing...how much more must it hurt God when we insist on our independence from him? I mean, my job is to help her become independent from me and dependent on God, right?
I think God is allowing me to feel this pain as a reminder of his love for me. He wants me near and wholly dependent on him. He wants me inside of him, just like I long to put my little girl back inside of me where the pain of this broken world can't hurt her.
It further occurs to me that a Wife of Noble Character would not allow herself to be bogged down with sadness and anxiety only to waste time with her precious child. She does not eat the bread of idleness. Nor is she afraid--she can laugh at the days to come! A noble wife would find joy in the development of her thriving baby and celebrate the milestones that increase her independence so that she will one day go out into the world, fully dependent on God, and make fishers of men.
I hope I can remember what God has taught me tonight on that first day of school, on prom night, in her first dorm room, and on her wedding day.
I am caught in a net of my own creation. I will leave it behind and follow Him who so lovingly sustains me.
Will it get easier? I highly doubt it.

p.s. He is especially fond of you.

Was yesterday not the most BEAUTIFUL day?
What a joy to come home and open the windows.

Honorary Grandma

Dear Grandma Julie,

Something about you just makes me love you.

Seeing you tonight was JUST what I needed. As it turns out, motherhood can be a lonely place. I was hoping to be a blessing to you tonight by surprising you for your birthday; instead you were a huge blessing to me with your excitement and love for my little one.

Blessings come in a practical form, too--thank you for the trip to Sam's. I nearly cried when I saw the prices on diapers.

You are now officially an honorary grandma. (But not because of the trip to Sam's. Because you are YOU!)

All my love,

Erin (and Shirley Jean)

p.s. Happy Birthday!

p.p.s. I know you're out there--you don't have to comment. :)

p.p.p.s. I can't BELIEVE you thought my ten-year-old self was a "retarded girl from church."

As long as I live

As long as I live, I don't need to see someone brush their teeth on TV ever again.

Sometimes I just lose track...

A friend of ours asked if he could park his car at our house while he is out of town and needed a ride to the bus station.
We were standing in the kitchen chatting and Richard said, "When will you be back?"
Josh said, "Friday."
I said, "TOMORROW?? Why are you going down just to come back right away?"
Poor Josh just looked at me, and clearly didn't know what to say.
Richard said, "Erin--it's Monday."

Stratified

Speaking of stratifying a room...
Imagine if you will, that everyone in the world is either a Pirate or a Ninja.
McClain says that nothing can split a room in half more vehemently than this question.
Is he right?
I'm a Pirate. Obviously.
Which are you? Why?

Book Review

The Second Summer of the Sisterhood by Ann Brashares

Synopsis: The girls are at it again with their magical jeans. Another exciting summer of adventures and self-discovery awaits.
Readability: Easy peasy. UNLESS you haven't recently read the first book (The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.) I had trouble keeping track of some of the secondary characters and had to consult Lauren and Mandi occasionally.

Predictability: Oh, what do you think? It was exactly what I expected.

Couldn't Put it Down Factor: I had no trouble putting this one down.
Recommend it?: Oh, sure.

Overall Rating: Three stars. Middle of the road. I've found that there are very few things that unite a room of young women more quickly than asking, "Have you read the 'Pants' books?," because everybody--and I mean EVERYBODY has. So...if you are one of those people, I'm sorry. I just thought it was, "eh." I mean, I'm glad I read it, but I can't say I'm better for it. How's that for lukewarm sentiment?

For Carla

There are so many things to talk about here: Oh, and Merry Christmas to YOU.

I wanna tell the world!

Yesterday morning, I had my first ever (EVER) success with self-tanner.
Halllllll-elujah!
Halllllll-elujah!
Halelujah!
Halelujah!
Ha-layyyy-lujah!

0% Body Fat

Sometimes when I'm watching gymnastics or swimming, I think to myself, "Man. If I had to wear that little tiny outfit, I would be so self conscious!"
Then I think, "Shoot. If I looked like that, I would never get dressed."
Never.
You'd come over to my house and I'd be all naked and stuff.
I'd be hangin' around drinking my iced coffee, not jiggling.

Optical Illusion

Last night on the way home from dinner with a friend, I got "stuck" behind a solar powered car. He was going about 45 miles per hour on I-94 heading west.
He finally pulled over and I passed him to realize that he was just a doofus with two aluminum ladders strapped to the roof of his Dodge Neon.

Wrong Blog

I posted about our weekend on the wrong blog.
Check it out.

Pay it Forward

Today at Aldi's, I suffered the humiliation of not having enough money. I was short by about $3.
Of COURSE there were 20 people in line behind me. Of COURSE I was sweating. Of COURSE the baby started fussing.
I asked him to take off the "Orange Coke."
"You mean the Orange Pop?"
"Uh...yeah." (As if this is the time to argue semantics. When I'm sweating profusely and the baby barfs all over herself.)
"That brings us to $60.54."
"I only have $60. That's IT."
"No change or anything?" Seriously? SERIOUSLY?
"No change or anything."
"Here, sweetheart, I have fifty cents for you," says the gray-haired tattoed man behind us.
"Oh...are you sure? Really? Thank you so much!"

Tonight, Richard went to get fitted for (another) tux, and a homeless man approached him. After a long story, Rich finally interrupted and said, "Just tell me what you need, man."
"I need $12."
"Well, I don't HAVE $12, but if you're still here when I come out, we'll find a way to take care of you." (To be fair, I had all of Richard's cash--in the form of $60 at Aldi's.)
Of course the man was waiting for him when he came out.
Richard DROVE him to Cub Foods and walked him in and bought him a $20 gift card.
The gentleman started crying, hugged Richard and sent my quiet, sweet husband on his way.

Needs, when legitimate, come in all shapes and sizes, but when needs are met unexpectedly I think the gratitude is the same.

The answer, my friend...

Do you ever miss one hair on the back of your ankle every time you shave so that when you're walking down the street on a nice day you can feel it blowin' in the wind?
Me neither.

Instant Replay

Tivo + Gymnastics = AWESOME.

Book Review

Synopsis: This is what the back of the book reads. I don't want to risk ruining any of the plot points. "Mack Phillips' youngest daughter, Missy, has been abducted during a family vacation and evidence that she may have been brutally murdered is found in an abandoned shack deep in the Oregon wilderness. Four years later, in the midst of his Great Sadness, Mack receives a suspicious note, apparently from God, inviting him back to that shack for a weekend."

Without ruining too much, I do just want to add that the main point in the novel is that terrible things happen because we live in a fallen world, not because God wills them to happen, and he will pursue his purposes through our fallen world and through unspeakable tragedies despite our inability to see his greatest good.

Readability: Easily written and therefore easily readable, but the topics covered in this novel (that's right, it's a work of FICTION--please bear that in mind) are so heavy that I frequently found myself needing to take a break.

Predictability: I suspected the ending, but I was pleasantly surprised by it nonetheless.
Couldn't Put it Down Factor: Like I said, I wanted to keep reading, but needed to digest this one frequently.
Recommend it?: YES. Yes, YESSS! Please go buy this book. Though I have some problems with the theology presented here, it really challenges my views on God and the way he loves us and the way he loves the trinity. I have never read something that makes me see God as such a loving friend as he is presented in this text. The basics of God's love are represented here, and because of that, I am willing to overlook some theological weirdness and a sometimes irreverent treatment of God, and would wholeheartedly recommend this read to anyone. ANYONE. Please be warned, however, that the first quarter of the book does indeed deal with the kidnapping of a little girl, which is hard to stomach, but the pain and agony of losing a child is such a small portion of this novel that it is survivable (just like it is for Mack!).

Overall Rating: Four stars. Minus one for the theology, and I have to admit that something JUST doesn't sit quite right with me on this one. I don't know what or why, though.

Special note: I am aware that this book is surrounded by controversy. I have spent a significant amount of time reading other people's reviews, and have determined that what you think about this one is up to you (just like your relationship with God). It challenged me in the way I see God, and I appreciate it for that fact. If you have read, are reading or want to read this book and want to talk about it, I am REALLY interested in other people's opinions about this one. Please contact me!

VBS Wrap Up

Yesterday I had the pleasure of washing my boys hands with vanilla water and tellilng each one that "Jesus gives you the sweet promise of heaven."
Following that, two of our boys asked Jesus into their hearts.
It totally made my exhaustion worth it!
When I started to tear up because of the emotion of the day, the boys said, "Mrs. D, what's wrong? What's the matter?" I said, "Sometimes Jesus just makes you so happy that you can't help but cry."
It was a very good week.
















Since I don't have permission from any of my kiddos parents to post their photos, here is a photo of SJ and me enjoying our picnic lunch after the big wrap up.

Magic Beans

I discovered something today at a popular department store:

I don't need a new bathing suit to make me look like I just had a baby.

I can do that in a bathing suit I bought last summer.

Aaaaany old suit will do.

9-12

Today on the way home from VBS I realized that it's only three hours long.
THREE! HOURS!
WHUUUUUUUTTTT?
Until this morning, I sincerely thought it was more like 6 hours long.

Please don't get me wrong--I'm having a great time. I am in LOVE with my boys (who can either sing or dance, but not both--oh, my heart! They try SO hard.).
They have spent the week trying to pronounce my last name, and today one of them asked me if he could be my Mr. Dayvooshavoosh. I told him I didn't think my husband would appreciate that and he said, "You're married??!!" He then proceeded to hold my hand for the rest of the morning. Does it get any cuter than that? (Carla says I only need to worry if he brings a ring tomorrow. Haha!)
Finally, I said, "I should have just told you all that my name was Mrs. SMITH!" That got a laugh. : )
Oh, I'm happy. And tired. And happy.

Nomoretalking.

Shh.
Mommy's tiiiiired.
Day one at VBS was a huge success.
Here is what we did:
Sit on your line.
Stand on your line.
Sit on your line.
Stand on your line.
Sit on your--
just kidding! Stand up!
Here's some...GLITTER!!!
Now, RUNAROUNDOUTSIDE!
Run!
Don'ttriponyourcrocs!
Didyoutrip?
Doyouneedabandaid?
Nonononodon'tcry!
SNAAAAAACK!
JesusJesusGodPowerJesus!
Jesus.
Thankful!
Jesusgivesusthepowertobethankful!
AAAHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Sit down.
Stand up.
Sit.
Stand.
Sit.
Stand.
Dance!
Sit.
Stand.
Go home.

Bring Mommy a margarita.

Vee Bee Ess

Vacation Bible School starts tomorrow morning.

I L.O.V.E. VBS. Love.

I am so excited.

If you think of us, please pray for us. Pray that God would use me and alllllll the other volunteers for His glory in these kids lives. Please pray, also that lives would be changed, that God's spirit would be in every exciting detail, and that our focus will remain on Him.

Thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to serve You in this way.

Please make avery action, word and moment count.

Amen.

I always have the best ideas!

Before Lauren said the title above, she said, "You know what they should invent? They should invent a birth control where the placebo pill is PAMPRIN."

Then she said, "I'm gonna market that. Tell your blog friends that my idea is off. limits."

Book Review

Q is for Quarry by Sue Grafton

Synopsis: Kinsey Millhone, private detective, is hired by two retired police officers who want to solve a case that has been in their craw for almost twenty years. They need Kinsey to do the legwork to help figure out who murdered a young girl in 1969 and dumped her body in a quarry owned, interestingly enough, by Kinsey's estranged family. Based on a true story (creeeeepy) and placed by Grafton in 1987.

Readability: Kinsey is one of my oldest literary friends, so it was almost soothing to read and hear her voice and dry humor again. Finding out information about her family, too, was such a breath of fresh air! Like learning something new about a best friend.

Predictability: I had the wrong guy! I was pleased that I didn't know whodunnit. Grafton did not let me down.

Couldn't Put it Down Factor: Four out of Five. Five out of Five for the last 100 pages. Stayed up til 2am to finish. : )

Recommend it?: Absolutely. I would recommend anything by Grafton. Watch out for some f-words, and pretty grizzly details about Jane Doe, however.

Overall Rating: Five stars. I just love this series.

Aahhhhhh...

Richard is out of town until Sunday, so it's just me and SJ for the weekend.
Today after he left, I treated myself to clean, crispy bed sheets straight from the clothesline outside.
Hel-LOOO middle of the bed.

Facebook

Ok, here's the thing.
Facebook is a tool. A tool used to spy on people. Facebook is supposed to be used to find out who got fat, pregnant, married, divorced, hired, fired, moved, and who was successful or a failure in life.
More importantly, it is for spying on your high school sweetheart to see if his wife is as ugly as you hope, your college nemesis who made freshman drama a nightmare and that guy with whom you should have gone to the prom. (Sigh.)
Sure, it's a networking tool, but save for a few friends that I like to encourage and love up by way of commenting on some photos (hi, Julianne!), Facebook, by and large, is for SPYING. Facebook is the layman's spyware.
My point?
Bumper stickers, fun walls, sports teams, etc., just serve to clutter pages and get in my way when I am trying to see the new photos you added from your vacation to Duluth. I'm DYING to see you swimming in those frigid waters, but I can't find your albums due to all the garbled nonsense filling up your profile page.
Let's clean up those pages, people, and use Facebook for it's God-given purpose. Spying, snooping, and exploring.
I'm just saying.

The Great Apple Bread Debauchle

Well.
Last week Gertrude brought Richard a loaf of homemade pumpernickel bread. (YUM!) Not liking to send home an empty pan, SJ and I decided to make Katie's Prize Winning Apple Bread yesterday. I opted to double the recipe and make a loaf for us and for Gertrude.
Well.
Lauren says to always follow the recipe exactly the first time you make it. Good advice.
I mis-measured (of course) the apples and had nearly two cups extra of chopped fruit.
Richard suggested making a third loaf.
So I did.
Well.
Not one of them turned out. NOT ONE. They all fell. Totally caved in.
Did I discover this before I took Gertrude her loaf? No.
Did I have to call Gertrude and tell her that her loaf was mushy inside? Yes.
Did Richard and I eat the ends that were baked properly and throw the middles away? Yes.
Were they DELICIOUS? Yes.
Will I be trying again? Yes, but not before my pride recovers.
Well.
Note to self: when Katie says to bake for 55-65 minutes, and you're doing three loaves, 60 minutes is N.O.T. enough baking time.
Der.

Headliner

If the biggest thing on yahoo.com right now is Brooke Hogan, there's something wrong with our world.

I mean, aren't we at war?

Book Review

Her Royal Spyness by Rhys Bowen

Synopsis: In 1932 a 21-year old debutante (Georgie) flees her brother's Scottish home when she hears that a party is going to be given in order to set her up with an undesireable Romanian prince. In London, where she has taken refuge, she has an adventure (that's right--singular, as in ONE), then discovers a dead body. She then goes on to try to figure out whodunnit.

Readability: Insultingly easy and as such, very hard to get in to. About 100 pages into the novel, the mystery finally starts. RED FLAG.

Predictability: To be honest, I didn't know whodunnit! To be fair, neither did Georgie...

Couldn't Put it Down Factor: I had no trouble putting it down.

Recommend it?: Not really, though it is a quick and easy read that takes you to a different city. Sometimes that's JUST what you need.

Overall Rating: Two stars. One for getting it published and the second for keeping me guessing til the end.

Believe it or not, I AM reading a book right now that I'm really enjoying. : ) Hopefully I'll write a nice review soon!

Thanks, Swampy.

This made me cry and cry. Sweetest thing ever.

Happy 80th Birthday, Shirley, Sr.!

Today, we had the honor and priveledge of throwing an 80th birthday party for Grandma Shirley. It was a small picnic with fantastic food, laughter and stimulating conversation. "Shirley Sr." got a new set of sheets, a memory foam pillow, a "Broadway Classics" CD and Special Edition Dark Chocolate Starbucks Frappuccino for her birthday.

Here are the Shirley Girlies!
Chatting with Gram during the party.

We had the opportunity (finally) to take a five-generation photo.
Here's a photo of the whole fam. A legacy of Christ-followers. My great-great-grandmother's prayer (six generations ago, if you're counting) was that each generation after she was saved would come to know Christ. I believe this includes our spouses as well. God has been faithful in honoring her prayer. God is good to us!

One of the big events of the day today was to go pick up Gram's Centurian award at the Polk County Fair. Leaving the house is nearly impossible for her these days, so McClain and Richard went to accept it for her. She was thrilled.

Dear Past Erin,

Just a couple things.

WHAT WERE YOU THINKING???? You are not 21 anymore. You can not stay out all night. Three movies at the drive in?? Are you crazy?

You will suffer tomorrow. Consider yourself warned, moron.

Sincerely yours,

Future Erin

p.s. Don't forget the wipes for the sleeping baby who will need to be changed in between each movie! Oops. Too late.

p.p.s. Batman was AWESOME!!!

S,

E.

I wish I had greener thumbs. If I did, I would say, "I like begonias. They're so complicated." If I was a flower, I would be a begonia.

"(23) May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. (24) The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it." -1 Thes 5:23-24

The mystery of sanctification is that the perfect qualities of Jesus Christ are imparted as a gift to me, not gradually, but instantly once I enter by faith into the realization that He "became for [me] . . . sanctification . . . ." Sanctification means nothing less than the holiness of Jesus becoming mine and being exhibited in my life. (Chambers.)

Concentrate

I was supposed to get how many loads of laundry out of this bottle of laundry detergent?
Fifty-what?
Oops.

Potato, potahto.

I've had some pretty bad jobs in my life.

And I'm not very old.

While I was in college, I had a data entry job at the headquarters for a company known fondly by some as "God's Garage." (My opinion? "Satan's Lair." Potato, potahto.) When I quit, I did not give notice, and I was informed that I could not apply for a job with the company for seven years. Shux.

Anyhow, I worked the evening shift, which meant that I shared a computer with the woman who worked there during the day. Her screen saver read:

"Guys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses."

I changed it to:

"Guys don't make passes at girls with fat asses."

The seating arrangement changed the next day.

Dear Swampy,

I just couldn't do it. I'm so sorry. I'm sure Watership
Down, by Richard Adams is a beautiful novel, but I couldn't make
it past the first 100 pages. Here is my review.

Readability: Surprisingly tough (in a good way). I am
convinced that it is MY fault that I couldn't get into this book.

Predictability Factor: Something tells me the rabbits will have
many adventures, encounter much danger, and succeed in the end.

Recommend it? Yes, but only because I've heard such good things about it.

Overall Rating: Not applicable. I'm a weenie.

I hope you'll still be my friend. If it's any consolation, I gave it
five stars in my LibraryThing.

Sincerely sorry,

Erin

Relax, baby!

Relaxing: A nice, long, hot bath with lavender and chamomile and 150 pages.
Not relaxing: Having to stand up three times to get the shampoo, then the soap, then the conditioner out of the shower caddy.
Even less relaxing: Having to "pump" after my nice, long, hot bath.

Dear Past Erin,

When you get a bug in your knickers to use the spot/steam cleaner to clean the arms and cushions of the couch, you will be horrified to see the brown, no-longer-see-through water coming off of the upholstery.
You will then turn around dump all of the dirty water onto the carpet.
Haha! The reservoir doesn't seal!
Happy cleaning!
Future Erin
p.s. I wish I could warn you further in advance, really, but it's just too funny.

July 19

Next week on July 19, during the 6:00 service at Faith Community Church in Hudson, we are having Shirley Jean publically dedicated to God.

We would love it if you were there to share in our joy.

Please join us in the community room after the church service for an hour of fellowship and to kiss the baby!

Hope to see you there, my blogfriends.

Me too me too me too!

I've been quoted!
Three times!
I am the first, sixth and seventh quotes on the page.
Wow!

Dear Kara Jo,

Yeah...they RE-WROTE all of The Nanny Diaries for the movie.
I never thought I'd say this, but the movie was actually a lot better than the book.
Thanks for recommending it!
Sincerely yours,
Erin

Book Reviews

Plain Truth by Jodi Picoult
Readability Factor: Easy and very engaging. Some scenes were hard to stomach as a new mother.
Predictability Factor: Either I'm too smart, or Picoult was too obvious. So well-written, however, that I invested myself in 400 pages hoping that I was wrong about "whodunnit," and the author would surprise me. Alas.
Couldn't Put it Down Factor: Five stars. (See why the ending was so disappointing?)
Recommend it? Sure. Just know this. Your first guess as to who did it is wrong. Your second guess is right.
Overall Rating: Four stars. Smart, intriguing, suspenseful and rich.


The Nanny Diaries by Emma Mclaughlin and Nicola Kraus
Readability Factor: Easy
Predictability Factor: I suppose it wasn't very predictable because I was so infuriated by the ending. Sososososo freaking mad about the ending. The romance, however, was too easy and predictable. To be honest, I'm not sure what this novel was really about. A nanny? A child? A romance? I'm still not clear.
Couldn't Put it Down Factor: Four stars (out of five).
Recommend it? Nosiree. Don't waste your freaking time. If you want to know how it ends, shoot me an email. My guess is that the movie has a much better ending than the book. How else would they even get the funding to film it? It was really THAT bad. I'm still stinging.
Overall Rating: Two stars. Cleverly-written, but an unprecidented waste of my time as someone getting closer to death every day.

Noble Character

I was trying to look something up on eBible.com when I came across The Wife of Noble Character.

Proverbs 31:15 reads:

"She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls."
This verse has always been a source of spiritual consternation for me. I am not that woman, and it bothers me. Don't get me wrong. I work hard at being a good wife and mother, but I often wonder if I'm working hard enough, if I could be working harder.

I was mentally debating whether to commit this issue to God or not (read: Do I want to work on this or ignore it for as long as I can and only address the issue when it becomes absolutely necessary?) and decided to click on over to my old buddy Mr. Chambers.

The first line of today's devotion reads, "A [Christian] is not to take the initiative toward self-realization, but toward knowing Jesus Christ."

Self-serving? Perhaps. But it was a nice reminder of what my FIRST priority is, and, better yet, how God sees me mired in all my imperfections, through the loving eyes of a father. This is, quite possibly, the closest I have come to understanding who I am in Christ in a very long time.

I actually screamed out in frustration in the kitchen today.

I have had 3 hours of sleep. The baby has had 10. Does that seem fair to you?
Last night, I stayed up late to finish The Nanny Diaries and was so PISSED OFF by the ending that I couldn't sleep. Really. It was that bad. (Incidentally, I'm never reading again. It seems impossible for someone to write a book with a good / original ending, so I quit. I can't bear to invest myself in another book only to be disappointed AGAIN.)
I was still awake (fuming) at 3:30 when it started storming outside and Richard woke up long enough to say, "The cat's outside."
So, feeling like a TERRIBLE mother, I got up to look for him. Finally, I woke Richard up and asked him to help. The storm instantly stopped and the cat came home.
He raced downstairs presumably to eat, which he promptly threw up all over the living room floor. We, of course, had just started to drift off.
We both whisper-swore so as not to wake the baby. Together we cleaned up cat barf at 4:30, and woke the baby up. I put her plug back in her mouth, praying that she would just go back to sleep...which she did.
Yesterday was worse. We spent FOUR HOURS at the mall doing pictures and came home with a baby so tired that she couldn't sleep. The coffee I bought in the morning and worked on all day couldn't have helped either. She finally crashed around 8, but not before she cried for 4 hours straight. One hour of crying for each hour we spent at the mall.
Today, I've been trying to be productive, but I SWEAR if I step in ONE. MORE. CINNAMON. TOAST. CRUNCH. I. AM. GOING. TO. LOSE. MY. FREAKING. MIND.
Where are they coming from? I have swept, vacuumed, sicked Pedro on them.
WHERE ARE THEY COMING FROM?????

* * *
The baby is finally napping now, and what am I doing? Blogging.
I have to go.
I have to nap on my sheet-less bed. Am I in college again?
Don't tell me how sorry you are. It's ok. Just one of those nights. Who knows...maybe after my nap I'll find it amusing.

He was so ugly, I nearly cried. I nearly cried, y'all. You ever seen a silverfish? I nearly cried.

Mr. Silverfish on my wall,
I don't like you; not at all.
Yes, I'm nearly six feet tall,
but you have more feet than them all.

Just stay where you are, you nasty little creature.
You spawn of satan.
Product of the Fall.
Purposeless filth.
Stay where you are and I won't touch you, and you won't get out of my kleenex and crawl (faster than a Nebraska cockroach) up my arm.
Deal?
In fact, stay where you are until morning so that you can get out of Richard's kleenex and crawl up Richard's arm. I think Richard would handle that a lot better than I would.
Deal?
Mkthanks.

The Animals

Dear Pedro,
Please stop pooping under the clothesline. I mean, I don't want to punch a gift horse in the mouth, but...please.
Love,
Mommy

Dear Kitty,
No more midnight romps for you.
The driveway is a long way away from the house when Mommy is in her nightgown.
If you can't be quiet when you are outside, you won't get to go outside anymore.
Love,
Mommy

Family Ties

BlogFriends, Richard's grandmother is having surgery tomorrow to have her spleen removed. Please, as you think of us, pray for her safety and speedy recovery.

Heavenly Father, I pray that your hand would be on Joyce tomorrow as she heads into surgery. Make your spirit known, Lord, with your peace and grace. I pray that you would allay any fears that Joyce may have and build Dick up in your sovereignty and faithfulness as he cares for his wife. I pray also that you would build up Brenda, Lori and Kevin as they serve their parents in caring for their physical and emotional needs. I pray, too, that Your peace will be palpable to our family.

In Jesus' name, amen.

p.s. THIS IS MY NEPHEW!!! Is he not the most beautiful creature you've ever laid eyes on???

Congratulations, E&V!

You are a beautiful family. God's many blessings on all of you. Little Eva, I pray that you will grow to be a towering woman of God, that you will turn to Him in all things and trust His son as your friend and savior.

Welcome, little girl.

Competition!

Tuesday.
Doorbell rings.
Erin: Hi, Gertrude!*
Gertrude: Does Richard like heavy bread?
E: Sure!
G: We bought this bread and we don't like it, but I thought Richard might like it.
E: Well, thank you, Gertrude!!

Wednesday.
Doorbell rings.
E: Hi, Gertrude!
G: Can you get me Richard?
E: He's not here, he's working.
G: Oh, well, will you see if he can fix my alarm clock? I can't make it work.
E: Here, I can help you.
G: No, give it to Richard.

Thursday.
Doorbell rings.
E: Hi, Gertrude.
G: Can I ask Richard if he likes shrimp?
E: I'm sorry Gert, he's not here, he's working.
G: Well, I got you some frozen shrimp for your holiday weekend.
E: That is so thoughtful of you! Thank you.
G: When will Richard be home?
E: Oh, not for a while now. It's just me and the baby. Do you want to come in?
G: No. Cute kid.

If old Gert was about 50 years younger, I think I would be worried. I'm hoping tomorrow she'll bring some of HER MONEY.

*Names have been changed.

Who says we don't know how to party?

Kitty came in this morning VERY dirty. Who knows what he got in to, but let's just say that he's in the basement now, plotting our deaths.

Dear Richard's Professor,

I hate you.
I don't know what you're looking for.
NO ONE writes memos anymore.
We have email in the real world.
Your grading scale is preposterous.
This class isn't even related to our...uh, Richard's...major!
I'll get you, my pretty.
Very sincerely,
Erin
p.s. Does this memo follow your freaking outline???