Sweet Home...

Turns out, you can go home again...but it's weird.
I had the sweet privilege of going to my ten-year high school reunion in Decatur, Alabama two weeks ago. It was fantastic.
Have you ever gone back to a place with which you used to be intimate? It's hard. And strange. Things are very different, but at the same time nothing has changed. More than anything, YOU are changed, which makes everything look bigger, smaller, more beat up, less vivid, more colorful, newer, older...
Overall, I'm very glad I went. It was very emotional--the time we spent in Alabama was pivotal for our family, for my faith. It was very difficult to move down there (especially half way through high school), but absolutely God's plan for us, and I am so thankful for what he had planned for us--for me--in the Deep South. A lot of those emotions came rushing back when I had lunch with my friends, and toured my old stomping grounds. I'm just so thankful that I was able to remember the place with joy and a new understanding, and especially with fondness and familiarity.

Leslie, Kerry, Randall, ME, Leonard, Heather

Turning this corner felt really weird. Our house.

Our high school sign. :)Old friends.

What's mine is mine...and I DON'T share fries!

Erin: Hey, do you want the other half of this waffle?
Richard: Only if you aren't gonna eat it.
E: No. I don't want it.
R: Are you sure?
E: Yes! I wouldn't have offered it otherwise.
R: I'm really fine. If you're still hungry, go ahead.
E: I really don't want it. I don't often offer food off my plate out of the goodness of my heart if I'm still hungry.

Many of you can attest to the probable truth of this conversation based on personal experience.

Hot Dog: An Ethical and Gravitational Crisis

At about 4:00 this morning, I became aware that someone was whining and wimpering. Also, that I had been hearing it for quite a while. Hours, possibly. I listened for a minute to discern which child it was, and determined that it was canine in nature and coming from the dining room.
I shook Richard's shoulder and asked hhim to go check it out.
Pedro was trapped on the dining room table.
When he saw Richard approaching, his fear of punishment outweighed his fear of heights and he launched himself off the table, and bolted under our bed. (Small dog, short legs, tall table. You can imagine how it went...)
How often does Pedro trap himself on the dining room table?
Why did he get stuck last night, and (apparently) never before?
If it has happened before, on average, how long is he trapped? When he hears someone get up in the middle of the night or the garage door opening, does he panic and finally find the "courage" to get down?
Why couldn't he get down the same way he got up?
Seems to me that Pedro was suffering a gravitational crisis, in addition to making some poor moral choices that his walnut-sized brain just couldn't reason out. I am inclined to set up a hidden camera tonight and leave a great, big, steaming bratwurst in the middle of the table. Just to see what happens.

Just try it.

Go to http://maps.google.com/.
Search for “Eleva, WI.”
Zoom in 3 times.
Pan left 2 times.
Pan up 6 times.
Click on “satellite” within the map.

You know you want to.

Carcass

My home is the place watermelons come to die.

Book Review

T is for Trespass by Sue Grafton
Synopsis: Kinsey Millhone is hired to do a background check on her neighbor, Gus's, full-time-care nurse, which she completes and approves. It's not until things start to look pretty bad for old Gus that Kinsey realizes she may have overlooked something.
Readability: In short? I have baby brain, and I didn't have any trouble at all.

Predictability: You know how I love a surprise. We know from the beginning what's going to have to happen in the end...make sense? BUT, it's the bumps and bounces along the way that kept me guessing HOW it would all work out. I'm telling you, Grafton hasn't raised my blood pressure like that in a long time. Probably in the last four "alphabet" books. Really. At about 2am, Richard came out to the living room to find me reading. "Are you coming to bed?" he asked. "NOT! RIGHT! NOW!!!!" I shrieked. Once you get to the last five or six chapters, there's no stopping. For real.
Couldn't Put it Down Factor: Couldn't put it down? I still can't stop thinking about it. I finished it last week.
Recommend it?: I do, but only if you are already a friend of Kinsey Millhone. There were some things in this one that were pretty shocking and a little bit gory. I have a very hard time with violence of any kind, and there was one scene in this mystery that wasn't very palatable. Nevertheless, I really enjoyed this one. You know when you get so involved in a book that you are IN it? That's how I felt. I want to go back and visit...but that seems like it would be silly, since the book isn't actually alive and nothing will have changed since the last time I put it down.
Three and a half out of five stars. For violence and repetitive dialogue. (Come on Sue. Mix it up a little bit.)

Well, that's that.

Erin: I don't GET you.
Richard: Yeah? I don't get you either.

Bedtime

When you're commenting on Facebook, laughing at your own cleverness and wit as if you're the funniest person you know, one of two things is probably true:
1. You ARE the funniest person you know.
OR,
2. It's time to go to bed.

I'm the funniest
person I have ever met.
Sweet dreams, interweb.

Baby Dedication

Baby Richard is going to be publically dedicated to God at our church on Sunday morning, July 18, 2010 during the 10:30 service. We would be honored if you would join us for this very special service.

Steamed veggies, anyone?

Directions: Cut down vegetables (preferably a kind that no one likes) to bite sizes. Fill pan with approximately one inch of water. Place steam tray in pan and pile with veggies. Boil over high heat. Forget on stove.

Curious

Erin: How does this one end? I've seen the beginning like ten times, but never the end.
Richard: Oh, you know. There's a misunderstanding. George gets in trouble. George saves the day.

TECH.NOL.O.GY.

This morning I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth (a rarity in itself) when, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Shirley hoist something up and try to lug it out of the bathroom without my seeing. Yes, it was her potty chair. Yes, my whole life flashed before my eyes when I imagined all the germs she was hoisting along with her potty.
I turned around to remedy the situation with my toothbrush still in my mouth. I got the potty chair put back where it goes and scurried SJ out into the living room and turned back to see my phone--still on--under the running faucet.
I sure hope it turns back on. Richard says he has an old Motorola Razr I can use if it won't turn back on. Talk about the dark ages. Ugh.

The Gormand

Richard: What are you eating?
Erin: Your ice cream.
R: The vanilla?
E: No--the other one.
R: You put chocolate on it?!
E: Yeah...
R: I flavored it so you wouldn't HAVE to put chocolate on it.
E [ignoring]: You know, if you learned how to temper eggs and make a custard, it would really take your ice cream to another level.
R: Oh, don't threaten me.

Total Eclipse of the Heart

During my freshman year of college, N'Sync went on their "No Strings Attached" tour (Bye! Bye! Bye!). At that time, I worked at a TicketMaster location.
As you can imagine, the day tickets went on sale, it was a MADHOUSE. Every time a manager handed tickets across the counter, girls screamed and cried and went crazy--and this was months in advance of the tour!
Now, it's true I had tickets to the N'Sync concert in Birmingham (we didn't get to go--it's a long story), but I had to laugh at the girls. I'm just not the kind of girl who jumps up and down screaming over a celebrity.
I have to admit, though, that when I left the movie theater today with my tickets for the 12:01am premier of Twilight tucked safely in my wallet, I felt a little giddy.

I can feel you silently judging me through the screen. Go ahead and judge. You go right ahead.

I Scream!

I bought Richard an ice cream maker last week on clearance. (The kind with the freezer canister--not the rock salt kind--hel-LO, paininthebutt.)
I was a little nervous that I might have wasted $20, but what I should have been afraid of is that I might have created a monster.
On Friday night Richard and Shirley made vanilla ice cream. (They wanted to start with something "easy.") That night, Richard insisted that I try his creation while he told me all about it.
"I saw you bought some walnuts," he said. "Was that for the ice cream?"
"Yeah," I said. "I was thinking we could make maple nut."
"OR! I was thinking I could make brown sugar ice cream with salted walnuts. What do you think?"

I think I'll have some ice cream.

Mom's Day Off

In regard to Carla's post for today:
I went to Walmart, Target, The Dollar Tree, and Aldi all by myself today.
Now I am completely exhausted.

At least no one threw up.

Technology Test: FAIL

OK, remember how I JUST posted about how hard this mommy job is?
Literally, hours later our computer completely died. Oh, and then my phone died. DIED! I was using my iPhone (that, truly, I didn't think I loved as much as I do (OH, HOW I DO!), until it died) to check my email and facebook and the blogs so at least I didn't have to be completely disconnected over here...on this side of the river, but when it died and I had to go back to the dark ages on my blackberry (gasp!), I truly thought I might die. To say the very least, I felt pretty lonely, frustrated and isolated. And it was only a week. A very dark, rainy week.
I'm not sure what God was up to there, but I did not handle the "test" very well.
I haven't been very pleasant to live with over the last week.
BUT. Things are looking up. The computer is back in working order. Its *new* battery holds a charge longer than ten minutes at a time and it doesn't overheat to the point of buring the tops of my legs anymore!
Hallelujah--I'm back online.


There is no moral to this story.


One more thought: Do you think maybe our phones are getting too smart?

Be Back Soon

Computer is dead.
Blogging from the "smart" phone sucks.
Miss you, interweb.

Secret Confession: A Season?

I confess, being a mother of two children has proven nearly as difficult as I feared during my pregnancy. I am pleased to say that it is not AS difficult as I thought it would be, but close.
Lately I've really struggled with the drudgery and thanklessness of caring for two children's seemingly endless needs. In my heart I complain and long for time to myself. I SO look forward to my moments of "freedom," when I can leave the house sans children and fully expect to come home feeling refreshed and more able to cope with the demands of my new life. Usually my refreshed feeling lasts about fifteen minutes until I'm getting pulled in ten different directions and quickly become overwhelmed. I often feel like I am just barely keeping my head above water in the giant Lake of Too Much (just north of the the bustling city of Overwhelmington--in Canada).
I think that's just how it's going to be for a little while. Emphasis on little. I know this is just a season and that I am serving God by seeking to raise my children in his ways even when I don't think I can deal with potty training or colic or 5am feedings or discipline for ONE. MORE. MINUTE.
Oswald Chambers says this on the matter:
No one is born either naturally or supernaturally with character; it must be developed. Nor are we born with habits— we have to form godly habits on the basis of the new life God has placed within us. We are not meant to be seen as God’s perfect, bright-shining examples, but to be seen as the everyday essence of ordinary life exhibiting the miracle of His grace. Drudgery is the test of genuine character. The greatest hindrance in our spiritual life is that we will only look for big things to do. Yet, “Jesus . . . took a towel and . . . began to wash the disciples’ feet . . .” ( John 13:3-5).
We all have those times when there are no flashes of light and no apparent thrill to life, where we experience nothing but the daily routine with its common everyday tasks. The routine of life is actually God’s way of saving us between our times of great inspiration which come from Him. Don’t always expect God to give you His thrilling moments, but learn to live in those common times of the drudgery of life by the power of God.

If I hope to raise Fishers of Men, I guess I shouldn't complain (whether outwardly or inwardly) about washing my children's feet. I'm not going to get it all right. I know that. But I AM committed to doing my best at loving my children and husband in a godly way...I guess sometimes I just need to remind myself of the ultimate goal.

Remember Haiku?

Trying to get back
into the swing of blogging.
Start small with haiku.

Once upon a time
I was the HaikuLady.
She's still in there. Right?

Wish it weren't so, but
got nothing to say these days.
I'm working on it.

I'm going to start my days like this from now on:

It's all in the attitude.

Erin: Look! There's one of those new Corvettes. Those are so cool. I would look so good in one of those.
Richard: That's a Camaro.
E: Whatever. Same diff.
R: Not "whatever!" There's a big difference!
E: I don't see it.
R [getting upset]: There's a HUGE difference!
E: What's the difference?
R: It's in the attitude.
E [exasperated]: Tell me.
R: The Corvette attitude is like, "Hey! I'm middle aged! I have a lot of money! Look at me!" And the Camaro attitude is like, "I'm young. I can't afford this car, but I bought it anyway because it is so. effing. cool."
E [laughing]: I'm totally blogging this.
R: I know.

Wow.

This is unbelievable. The kind of thing that makes you wonder what you've done with your life.

Spoiled Rotten

Richard typically gives really cool gifts. Stuff I didn't even know I wanted, until I got it.
Over the last five years of our marriage I have recieved an iPod, an iPhone, a Kindle, lots of nice jewelry, a GPS and lots of other fun big ticket items. Oh, and several purses. ;)
After church last night we had to run into Wal-Mart for a couple items, and since it was late we split up to get what we needed. When I met Rich and SJ at the car, waiting for me was a very sweet card, a pink rose that Shirley chose for mama, a chocolate bar and a chick flick.
Richard was sheepish, "It isn't much, but I thought this way we could spend time together doing something you would like."
I tell you, interweb, of all the gifts I've received over the past five or six years, I haven't received anything that made me feel quite so cherished, loved and understood as this.

Second Shift

We are a Second Shift Family.
We do everything a couple hours later than "normal."
We stay up late. We sleep late (well...SJ and I sleep late. Richard gets a lot of work done before we get up in the mornings!). We eat late. We nap late.
I've been ashamed of our schedule for the last two years, but recently a good friend told me that until their oldest child started school, they did everything later than "normal," too. So I've been thinking about it, and I don't think I should be embarrassed anymore.
So we're on second shift. So sue me. We're happy.

THAT IS SO FUNNY!

I'm implementing a replacement for "LOL," which I overuse way too much (and so do you, admit it).
TISF is what you'll find me using from now on.
Kristi started us all on OMS, so I'm starting us all on TISF.
Thanks, Caitlin, for the idea.
Who's with me?

Deadant. Deadant. Deadant. Deadant. Deadant. Deadant. Deadaaaaaant!

Richard: I found some ants this morning in the bathroom.
Erin: I know, I've seen them, too, but I can't figure out where they're coming from.
Rich: I found their base camp.
Erin: Gross!!! What did you do?
Rich: I did what any boy would do. I sprayed them with bathroom cleaner til they DIED!

Top 40

My sister works in the catering industry as a banquet server. The other night she was working at a prom in Minneapolis.
Funnest game ever? Texting my guesses for songs played at the prom.
Believe it or not:
-I got about 50% right.
-Sweet Home Alabama was not on the play list.
-I've been listening to a lot of Top 40 radio lately.

It's always nice to have a reminder.

Single Ladies Devastation

Thanks, Heather, for sharing this video first.

Can there be too many?

Erin: I'm reading this book right now that seems SO familiar I feel like I've read it already. But when it comes down to it, I can't figure out who "did it."
Richard: I think that probably means you've read too many books.

Stupid is...

It's a Boy!

Richard Joseph

born March 29, 2010
8 pounds, 6 ounces;
22 inches long.

Check out HaikuBabies for more info!

Christ is Risen!

Still Watiting...and all too pleased.

My doctor appointment could not have gone better this morning!
We did a non-stress test on BittyWee where we determined that s/he is very comfortable in his/her current environment. We measured his/her heartrate and my (non-existent) contractions for almost an hour. For the first twenty minutes or so, BittyWee was sound asleep and his/her heartrate hovered around 130bpm until Fern made me move around and drink some cold water. Then we got to watch it soar to 160bpm and down to 120bpm as s/he moved around and "woke up." Fern says full-term babies really do have sleeping and waking schedules. I have to say I was pleased to learn BittyWee was sound asleep at 7:45. :)
The surprise of the morning was that my blood pressure actually went down! I couldn't believe it. It never occurred to me to ask God to lower my blood pressure! I just asked Him to take care of our baby.
I am so pleased that BittyWee is happy and stress-free in his or her still-hospitable environment and that no induction methods were needed this morning. I am perfectly happy to stay uncomfortable in lieu of inducing. Call me crazy. My next appointment is on Monday morning...if I need it. Fern says she may be seeing us this weekend because I'm a "stretchy" 3cm.
We shall see!
Thank you, Lord, for hearing my prayers.

*Excerpted from HaikuBabies.*

Waiting

Waiting
Dear baby, here beneath my heart,
I thought that you might come today;
The timing just seemed right.
But the stars are out
And the moon is high
And sheepishly I wonder why
I try to arrange the plans of God.
For now I know
You will not come until the One
Who holds eternity rustles your soft cocoon
and whispers in tones that I will not hear,
"It's time, precious gift.
Now, it's time."

-Robin Jones Gunn

A very sweet friend sent this poem to me today, on MY DUE DATE! :) It brings tears to my eyes.
Fern is still worried about my blood pressure, so we are going in tomorrow morning, early, to do a non-stress test and re-check my BP and cervix and to discuss whether or not we need to take some sort of action. I covet your prayers about this, my friends. I am conflicted as to what the best thing is. Obviously, we will do what is best and safest for BittyWee, but making these decisions is hard on this hormonal mommy.

Excerpted from HaikuBabies.

Spring has Sprung

VS

Have you guys seen these Victoria's Secret ads where the models tell us how much they love their bodies?
As if this is a revelation in female empowerment.
If I had Gisele's body, I'd love it, too. I'd love it right up.
::EYEROLL::
I mean, it's just offensive.
Marketing Department at Victoria's Secret: FAIL. Epic fail.

Per Laurie's Request...

My good friend, Laurie, suggested sharing some snapshots of Gram with Shirley Jean. I love this idea! Here are a couple of my favorites:

April 2008 - We took SJ to the farm to meet Gram for the first time.

Back at the farm in July 2008.

Here we are chatting with Gram.Five Generations - July 2008

The whole fam--even Pedro.April 2009 - Playing with Gram's walker.

Obituary

Many of you know, my Gram died last week. I thought a fun way to honor her might be to share her obituary. Truth be told, I learned things about her that I didn't know at her funeral on Thursday.

Helga Amalia McClain, 104 years of age from the Balsam Lake area, passed away on March 8, 2010 at the St. Croix Regional Medical Center in St. Croix Falls, Wisconsin.

Helga was born on February 28, 1906 in the township of Johnstown, Polk County, Wisconsin to William and Concordia (Hoppe) Mohwinkel. She grew up in the Pipe Lake area and attended the Pipe Lake Public School from which she graduated in 1920. From then on she attended and graduated from Cumberland High School and in the spring of 1923 she moved to St. Paul with her parents where she finished her education at the Rasmussen Business College. On March 21, 1925, she married Charles “Cliff” McClain and when he graduated from the Medical School of Technology as a Biologist and Laboratory Technician. In January of 1926 they moved to Chicago where Mr. McClain had employment in a hospital. Helga worked as a bookkeeper at Marshall Fields and also did some modeling for Marshall Fields as well. While in Chicago, both of their children were born, Charles William in December of 1926 and Shirley Anne in July of 1928.

When the Great Depression set in, and salaries got too low to continue living in Chicago, families started to double up. They moved to a big farm in Indiana where several others of the family joined them. By 1933, they returned to the Balsam Lake area and bought the farm where she now lived. They moved to St. Paul for a few years to earn enough money to get established in the home that became hers until her death, living there permanently since 1953.
Helga’s Christian teaching started in her parent’s home and in Christ Lutheran Church at Pipe Lake. Later when they moved to Chicago, on January 2, 1927, she accepted Jesus Christ as her personal Savior. She kept her faith all these years, working in many churches wherever they went, sang in the choirs, trios and duets. Music was her greatest pleasure, along with her family. She enjoyed cooking and feeding friends and neighbors, embroidering, crocheting, and driving children to Sunday school. She was a member of the East Balsam Baptist Church and was the oldest member.
Helga had a special dedication and commitment to exposing children to the gospel.
Helga leaves to celebrate her memory: daughter, Shirley McClain-Duffert of Balsam Lake, grandson, Charles Duffert and his wife Kathleen, one granddaughter, Elizabeth Roberts and her husband Dennis, ten great grandchildren: Erin Desvousges and her husband Richard, Lauren Krebsbach and her husband Ryan, McClain Duffert, Daniel Roberts and his wife Kami, Aaron Roberts, Sarah Roberts, Elise Roberts, Matthew Roberts, Amy Roberts and Jesse Roberts, two great-great grandchildren: Shirley Jean Desvousges and Kohlee Anne Roberts, many nieces, nephews and other loving family and friends.

She was preceded in death by her parents, husband, Charles "Cliff" McClain, her son, Charles William McClain and her daughter-in-law Raenell McClain and five brothers and two sisters and their spouses.

Helga will be laid to rest next to her husband Cliff at the Balsam Lake Cemetery.

. . .

Gram truly had a heart for children and the spiritual gift of hospitality. I'm not sure that I would be a Christian today if not for her. I know God calls us each, but I believe he used Gram as a tool to call me.

I will miss her.

Dear Non-English Speaker who Started Calling at 5 this Morning,

I AM NOT ESSIE!!!
STOP SPEAKING WHEN I'M SPEAKING!!!
YOU HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER!!!
It's like you're waiting for me to speak before you start speaking. What gives??
You would think by the third try you would FIGURE IT OUT.
STOP. CALLING.
Sincerely,
NOT ESSIE.

**Update**
I just dialed the number back: it's a prison. Of COURSE it's a prison.

Vitamins and Minerals: Need MORE!

I have great luck with skinny little guys who cut my hair.

To wit:

Hair Cutter Guy (while combing out my wet hair): So, how often do you swim?

Erin (looking down at GI.GAN.TIC. belly): I don't do much swimming these days.

HCG: Oh, really? You totally have the body for it.

E (looking down at E.NOR.MOUS. belly once again): Yeah, I look a lot like Michael Phelps.

HCG: Well, you have a lot of mineral build-up in your hair.

E: Oh. My secret is out.

What the WHAT?!?

Dog for Sale. Cheap.

What, dear interweb, could possibly be going through my dog's walnut-sized brain at 4:30 in the morning that would make him not want to come back inside out of the below-zero temperatures after I oh-so-graciously let him out against my better judgement?
I hate him.

This is how rumors get started:

Erin: Richard! Biggest Loser isn't recording! We're missing Biggest Loser!
Richard: Isn't it on the same channel as the Olympics? It won't be on til next week.
Erin: Are you sure?!?
Rich: Yeah--remember? They had the athletes on the show last week to promote the Olympics?
McClain: Wait. The biggest losers are Olympic athletes? They must have lost a TON of weight!
Richard: That would make them the Biggest Lugers.

Dance for Jesus

For those of you who still visit my blog (I just typed bog by accident. Ironic? I think not.), I've been missing for a while because my Great-Grandmother, Helga, is dying. I've spent the week riding up there with my dad to sit by her bed and offer help where I can.
Last night it struck me: waiting for a loved one to die is not unlike waiting for your best friend to have a baby.
It's longer than you expect it to be, arduous, tedious and stressful.
If you are very, very blessed, though, both end in a homecoming and hopefully, a celebration.

Feed My Starving Children

Alicia and I were the only ones willing to wear our hairnets for the photo. I think we look good!

Today I had the privilege of going to Feed My Starving Children in Coon Rapids, Minnesota to pack meals with the gals from my Bible study to send to Haiti. Together with the approximately 100 people there, we packed 18,900+ meals to send to Haiti, and all in under two hours!
The meals consist of chicken flavoring (that is actually vegetarian), freeze dried vegetables, soy protein and rice. The meals have important vitamins and minerals that starving children have no other way to get. The meals don't look all that appealing, but we got to sample some and it actually didn't taste too bad.
This is exactly the same thing we did at Faith Community Church this summer to send meals to Serve India.* (Different organization, same concept. I can't find a link for them...can anyone help?)
It was such a joy and a humbling experience to make meals for families and children who may not know from where their next meal is coming.
If you want to help pack meals to go to Haiti, please feel free to visit FMSC's website. They told us that they have lots of help right now because Haiti is in the headlines every day, but things will probably slow down later this summer, even though the need won't disappear. FMSC is a Christian group that is already well-established in Haiti. They told us that before the earthquake they had sent something like 3 million meals to Haiti and since the earthquake they've sent 3 million more. Before March 1, they intend to send 5 million more meals into Haiti. Isn't that awesome?!? Other countries who have been promised meals from FMSC are willing to postpone their shipments so that Haiti can have what they need right now, because the need is so great.

*Incidentally, the meals we made to go to India in August are currently "held up" by the government and have not yet made it to the families who desperately need them. If it crosses your mind, please pray both for the meals that are on their way to India and Haiti and the children and families who will eat them.

Nerd Party

Just a random memory from going to a (gasp!) state school:
In college, my roommate and I hosted a Halloween WOP party. (If you don't know what WOP is, find a 21-year-old. They'll tell ya.) It was just a bunch of English Lit and Psychology nerds getting together to drink cheap vodka spiked kool-aid out of a Rubbermaid bin. (We were all class, all the way.)
Anyway, the party was a huge success. One of our guests came dressed as a member of the marching band. Actually, I think he WAS a member of the marching band (nerrrrd party), either way, his costume was FANTASTIC. He wore everything from the little white cap down to the spats on his shoes. The only problem was that he brought along his own trombone, which he did not hesitate to play--badly. Do you have any idea how LOUD a trombone is when blasted in a two-bedroom apartment? Take my word for it: it's unbearably loud--even at the rowdiest of Nerd Parties.
Well, someone must have elected to take it from him because two days later, I found it under my bed.
I have no recollection of ever giving it back to him. I wonder what happened to it.

Zilch

So, if you guys have something for me to write about, I'm all ears. (Eyes?)
I've got nothing to say. Well, nothing worth saying.
Check out Lauren's blog for a few wedding snapshots.
That's all I've got. I'll take your writing prompts via email, comment or text message.

I'll be back. I promise.

The Wedding is tomorrow.
...Actually, it's today.
I'll get back to you on Tuesday.

The Bachelorette

Florida 2010 - Family Photos

Richard was in his Dad's wedding last week in Florida. We had a wonderful time!

Here we are at the beach in Sunny Florida. Sunny, yes. Warm? NO!

Thankfully the weather warmed up beautifully in time for us to visit the Magic Kingdom.

What a wonderful day!

SJ passed out in the stroller so we took the opportunity to take a Mommy&Daddy photo.

It seems like a lifetime ago Richard and I celebrated our honeymoon at DisneyWorld.

SJ woke up in time to ride the carousel two more times!
One last family photo on Winnie the Pooh!

Previous experience not required.

Several times in the last six or so years I've really gotten slammed by other Christian women with regard to my new (to me) roles as wife and mother.
I remember very distinctly an excited conversation I was having with a "more experienced" sister-woman-friend about shopping for engagement rings with Richard. Another "more experienced" woman piped up, "Shopping for rings? Yeah, that's when life really begins."
Now, she's not wrong, shopping for rings isn't exactly life and death, but it was a big deal to me--it marked a major change in the path of my life. Could she not identify with this? I believe she supports the institution of marriage and was once a young bride herself. So, would it have killed her to congratulate me? Wish me luck in my future marriage? Offer to support me in some non-offensive way?
I've endured a LOT more criticism now that I'm a mommy. I'm sure you know what it's like (if you're a mother)...snide, passive-aggressive comments about my and Richard's choices with Shirley Jean, you've all been there. "If you think you're blank now..." (I'm breaking out in hives just typing it.)
One memory that comes to mind was when SJ was just about six months old. I was joking with a "more experienced" sister-woman-friend about how wonderful it would be to sleep all the way through the night in a bed all to myself (a pipe dream that makes me salivate even now). A mother of four or five or seventeen whom I had never before met chimed in, "How many children do you have?" "Just one," I said. "Oh, poor you!" she rolled her eyes.
This is a relatively mild example...I've heard and read some downright nasty things about myself since Shirley was born, but the point is, REALLY???
Aren't we supposed to be building each other up? No, wait. Scratch that. Aren't YOU, "more experienced" sister-woman-friends supposed to be building ME up? Helping me to become a better wife and mother? Dare I say it: A Titus 2 Woman? Offering wisdom in a kind, non-humiliating way? The scrutiny and criticism I've endured, mostly from Christians, truly, is the reason I hardly blog any more. I know I'm not alone on this, and I'm probably (Edit: Probably?? I'm sure of it.) guilty of hurting someone's feelings inadvertently by trying to make a joke, etc., but I really do make a conscious effort to NOT put somebody to shame.
Speaking of shame, the truth is, I've enjoyed more praise and encouragement from my non-Christian friends than most of my "more experienced" sister-woman-friends. This isn't right.
I guess what I'm learning is that in ten or so years when I'm done bearing my four or five or seventeen children, I really don't want to be the kind of "more experienced" woman who is too proud to NOT say to a young wife and mother, "I hear you. I've been there. I'm praying for you. You're doing a GREAT job! How can I help?"

Slavery

Mommies don't get vacations.
They get to work harder...in the sun.

True Love

My Children

"Every night, I prayed for you, my special child. I prayed that your bones would be straight and your heart would be strong. But most of all, I prayed that someday you would love God."

-God Gave Us You

Book Review

American on Purpose by Craig Ferguson

Synopsis: The auto-biography / memoir (what's the difference anyway?) of Criag Ferguson, host of The Late Late Show. He starts by talking about his parents' lives in Glasgow at the end of World War II, and takes us all the way through his own birth, schooling, and career as a Scotsman. Intertwined through each fantastically depicted memory, he ruefully describes the way alcoholism affected his life.

Readability: Not hard to read at all. Very enjoyable, in fact. Be warned: this book contains colorful language and grown-up content relating to drugs, alcohol and sex. It was not gratuitous, though, and not necessarily written to shock, which I appreciate. It reads like a journal entry, though it is very intro-spective, well-thought-out, hilariously funny and at times very emotional. In short, I laughed, I cried, I empathized. The only down side is that there are a lot, A LOT of names to keep track of. Other than that, no complaints.

Predictability: Well, I knew going into it that Ferguson currently hosts a late night television show, so I wouldn't exactly call it a shocker. I learned a lot about Ferguson's life as a Scot, and why he became an American (which, incidentally, I did not see coming--I don't want to spoil anything for anyone, so if you want to know his reasons, shoot me an email.).

Couldn't Put it Down Factor: I really couldn't put it down. I thoroughly enjoyed it from word one. I don't know what I expected, but it is very well-written.

Recommend it?: I DO recommend it! It's like talking with a friend. Like I said, though, Ferguson is a true Scotsman and as such enjoys using the f-word and enjoyed (past-tense) whiskey and women.

Four out of five stars. Really loved it. Really, really.

(I just re-read this post. Could I gush any more??)

Merry Christmas!

Snow, snow, snow.

It's all I can think about.
We're now in a Winter Storm Warning.
This storm has the potential to wreak havoc on our Christmas. I'm sure I'm not alone here.

!!!!*&^$@#%!!!!

Silent Monks A-Singing

Santa

I don't think we're probably going to "Do Santa" at our house (though I'm not too stressed about it), but I have to say, the temptation to take Shirley to have her picture made with Santa at the mall is almost overwhelming, just because I'm pretty sure it will go SO BADLY.
You KNOW what I'm saying:

Now and Then

10 years ago

1.) How old were you? 17.
2.) Where did you go to school? Austin High School, Decatur, Alabama.
3.) Where did you work? Ha. At the carousel at the mall.
4.) Where did you live? On Ramona Drive in Decatur, AL.
5.) Where did you hang out? We had people over at our house a LOT. We also hung out at Books-A-Million. That's really all I remember.
6.) Did you wear glasses? Yes. Sigh.
7.) Who was your best friend(s)? Lauren. Ten years ago is when Lauren became my best friend.
8.) How many tattoos did you have? None. I was 17.
9.) How many piercings did you have? Ears.
10.) What car did you drive? A 1983 Volvo 240, four-speed. Her name was Daphne. She had no radio so we sang. We sang a lot.
11.) Had you been to a real party? Haha, no.
12.) Had your heart broken? I thought I had. Boy was I wrong.
13.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter: Single-ish.


5 years ago


1.) How old were you? 23
2.) Where did you go to school? University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire
3.) Where did you work? Five years ago today, I don't believe I had a job.
4.)Where did you live? Eau Claire, Wisconsin.
5.) Where did you hang out? Baldwin, Wisconsin. My fiance lived there. :)
6.) Did you wear glasses? Yes. I will forever wear glasses.
7.) Who was your best friend(s)? Jenna and Bia.
8.) Who was your crush? Richard.
9.) How many tattoos did you have? One.
10.) How many piercings did you have? Both ears and I think belly button. I was WILD!
11.) What car did you drive? Whatever Richard happened to own that week.
12.) Had you had your heart broken? Yessssssiree. Badly.
13.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter: About to be married.


December 2009


1.) How old are you? 2-ahem-8.
2.) Where do you work? I am in human relations and nutrition. I moonlight as a maid.
3.) Where do you live? Minnesota.
4.) Where do you hang out? The couch.
5.) Who is your best friend? I have a lot of best friends.
6.) Do you talk to your old friends? Many of them. There are a few who are missing, still, but I have not lost faith in Facebook. When you go to two high schools, it's easy to lose people. This is one of the greatest sadnesses in my life. Truly.
7.) How many piercings do you have? Two.
8.) How many tattoos? One.
9.) What kind of car do you have? I choose not to answer this. I still have some friends who think I'm cool.
10.) Has your heart been broken? It has. But it was only really applicable for the 5-year set of questions.
11.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter? Forever married.


Your turn (if you want)!
Naomi
Kristi
Lauren
Carla
Jessie
If anybody else wants to do it leave a comment so we are sure to come read yours!

75 Feet

If you've ever wondered how long your kitchen is, just lose control of the Reynolds Wrap.
As it turns out, my kitchen is NOT 75 feet long and as such I only had to re-roll about 20 feet of aluminum foil. Color me thankful.

Ode to a Toddler

My pre-two year old can not come play,

she has not got her way.

There are not enough cookies

what happened to all the nookies?

A hurricane in my house

she is never quiet as a mouse.

Publicly humiliating mama

who needs TV drama?

If I say no more Nemo

she gets all sad and emo.

Shirley Jean will see you at kindergarten

and not a moment before then.

Sainthood?

Gives new meaning to "Saint Nick."

Icky Christmas

Today I stopped at The Home Depot to pick up some air flow directors for the air vents in our FREEZING house. Basically, they're a little bandshell for your heat vent, that, incidentally have already made a big difference.
Anyway, on my way in the door, I stopped to smell some candles. As I was sniffing, a very normal-looking man cornered me against the display with his cart. He picked up a candle, sniffed it, and said, "You smell good."
My first inclination was to think that I must have misunderstood him, but when he kept staring at me with a dumb grin on his face not unlike THIS:













I knew I had not, afterall, misunderstood.
Without another word, I squeeeeeezed out of the tight spot he had me in (literally and figuratively), and made my purchases.
Icky. Icky Christmas. Not Merry.




For what it's worth, I'm still seeing spots from taking this picture.

Equations for Keeping House

Vaccuum Cleaner + Space Heater = Blown Fuse.*
Baby Hangers + Paper Bags = Barrell of Monkeys

*The bedroom clock (even though I have not reset it since I blew the fuse two days ago) is currently closer to real time than it was before the vaccuuming incident. Why bother resetting it? I can't see it from the bed anyway and Richard doesn't use it. Whatever.

Stuff that doesn't last forever that while you're in it seem endless:

-Broken hearts
-Puberty
-Trials
-Winter

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

Book Review

The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown
Synopsis: Robert Langdon once again finds himself in the middle of a Symbologist's scavenger hunt where time is of the essence. This time, in our nation's capital.

Readability: Easy--very wordy, though. I found myself skipping entire paragraphs.
Predictability: I was surprised on this one--I didn't really know how it would all turn out. There were a couple twists and turns I didn't see coming, and a handful that I did.
Couldn't Put it Down Factor: As usual, Dan Brown delivered a real page-turner. Toward the end, it lost me, though. Once the mystery was solved, there were three or four more chapters to wrap up all kinds of loose ends. It was hard to stay awake for the finish.

Recommend it?: Well...that depends. In Dan Brown's other books, he has a lot to say mostly about the Catholic church. I feel like he works really hard doing his research so that nothing he says is absolutely WRONG, so it's hard to put your finger on it. Well...in The Lost Symbol, Brown has a lot to say about Christianity and religion as a whole. He's right on the money about a lot of things, but then he starts talking about how "God is in all of us," and that if we can each just elevate ourselves to one-ness, blah, blah, blah. He's missing the crucial point: As Christians, we have a savior. Remember? He missed it completely. Anyway, would I recommend this book? Sure...if you aren't offended by that sort of thing.

p.s. I felt like this was the most poorly-written book by Dan Brown yet. He repeats FULL SENTENCES from one page to another. What kind of editor did he have? Do they really think I'm so stupid that I can't follow the story? Really?

Two out of Five stars. I am disappointed.

Christmas Cutthroat

Christmas lights get ONE chance this year.
If they don't light up on the first try, they go straight in the trash.

Ruthless? Maybe.

I'm not messing around here. I learned my lesson last year.

Merry Christmas.

Any way the wind blows...

From our house to yours...

Happy Thanksgiving!

I just woke up from my turkey stupor, and am finally able to blog...

My mom made all the chefs and sous chefs matching aprons for the big day. Don't we look great??

Shortage

We've been on a closet-cleaning kick at our house lately.
By virtue of the fact that Richard is a man, three things are true about his wardrobe:
1. It is MUCH smaller than Shirley's or mine.
2. His clothes get dirtier, faster than Shirley's or mine.
3. His laundry turnover is faster and more important than Shirley's or mine because of #1 and #2.

It seems as if there is always a shortage of clean clothes for Richard to wear to work. To be fair, his requirements are not much--he only needs a pair of "nice" jeans and a shirt bearing the name of his company. By my last count, he had three shirts that work for work.
As you can imagine, this sometimes adds stress to our Sunday nights, trying to locate a clean shirt for Richard.
So...imagine my surprise and happiness when he found FOUR of them stuffed at the back of his closet this morning!
Just four more reasons to put off doing laundry!

Would you like fries with that?

I've been craving coffee lately, in a big way. It tastes so good to me that I will even drink decaf, which until previously, I didn't see the point in, but that is neither here nor there.
Since I usually have the Shirl in the car with me when I want coffee, I've been utilizing the drive through window more frequently than ever. I love it when I get a drive thru guy with a sense of humor...

At Caribou
Erin: I'd like a small, decaf white chocolate raspberry mocha, please.
Barista: Ok, so that's a small raspberry latte?
E: No, a small, decaf white chocolate raspberry mocha.
Barista: Oh, sorry. A small white chocolate mocha.
E: No, a small, decaf white chocolate raspberry mocha.
Barista: Ok. A small white chocolate raspberry mocha.
E: Decaf!
Barista: A smal, decaf white chocolate raspberry mocha?
E: I know how to party.
Barista: Yeah you do.

At Mcdonald's
Erin: Ooh! Can I try one of these new caramel frappes? Small?
Order Taker: A small frappuccino coming up.
[At the wondow]
OT: Here's your frappuccino.
E: Are you supposed to be calling them that?
OT: Fine, here's your FRAP-PAY.

Snob with a capitol SNOB.

Tonight I had the SUPERFUN (!!!) pleasure of going to see a midnight screening of New Moon with Masha. Remember ol' Masha?
The theater we were at sold out fourteen theaters! FOURTEEN THEATERS!
So, as you can imagine, things were a little crazy, and the girl in front of us was using her very beautiful purse to save a seat for a friend.
Out of my love for all things with handles, I tapped her on the shoulder and said, "You'd better guard your bag--I'd hate to see it get stolen!"
She replied, "Oh, NO one is touching my bag. This is a $500 purse. If anybody touches it, they're leaving. the. theater."
"Oh, right," I said.

Quietly, to Masha I said, "That's not a $500 bag."
She said, "I know, right??"
I said, "What do I look like? Some kind of schmuck?"
Masha said, "It's not even from this season."

Child #1 and Child #2

Richard and I are making practically zero headway in the Naming Baby #2 Department. Richard tends to be a more traditional, where I tend to like more unusual names, so we're having a very hard time agreeing on almost anything this time around.
Since time has flown by, and I expect the second half of my pregnancy to FLY by as well, I'm starting to feel the pressure, so I decided to take my concerns to Rich last night.
I started by saying, "Rich, we have to start getting serious about picking some names for the new baby. I don't want to give it a run of the mill, average name, because our kids are special. We both liked the name Shirley because it's so unusual, interesting and a little old-fashioned--"
"Yeah, but don't you think it would be confusing if they're both named Shirley?"


I guess I walked right into that one.

Can I just say?

If you want to pierce your eyebrow, it's your business. I really don't have a problem with it. In fact, on some people, many people, it can be very cute (read: Hannah N.).
BUT.
If, Nordic guy, you're going to pierce your eyebrow, maybe--and this is just a recommendation--you could take the time to tweeze? Just a little? And most importantly, more important than anything, in fact, DON'T choose the green earring / hardware. Next to your bushy blond eyebrow, it just looks infected and makes me very uneasy to drink the coffee or eat the meal you've just made for me.
I'm just saying.

Crisis Averted

Rich and I were faux-arguing tonight about who would go pick up dinner (today has truly been a day off), when I said, "Do I really look like I'm fit to go out in public?"
Richard, in his sweatpants and t-shirt said, "I'm not dressed any different than you! You should go."
I said, "No way, man. I'm not going anywhere."
He said, "Are you wearing a bra?"
I said, "Yes..."
Rich said, "See? You're more dressed than me. You should go."
I said, "Do you usually wear a bra when you go out for the day?"
Rich said, "Well...no."

Thank goodness, I say.

How do you know when you're really a grown up?

I know I've blogged about this before, but I just had to share a conversation I had with my cousin (who is the same age as me) this afternoon about what we are going to ask for for Christmas.

Erin: I dunno. Everything I want is really expensive, so I might just pool my Christmas money and buy one of them.
Nick: I asked for socks.
E: Oh, I always ask for socks, too. And pajamas.
N: I also asked for The Best of Genesis.
E: We're old.
N: Yeah...

Quilt Retreat: A,B,C; 1,2,3; Baby, you and me.

You know that feeling you get when you slowly realize you're into a project that's WAY over your head? That's how I started to feel around letter G.

It took me all weekend, but I managed to finish all the letters of the paper-pieced alphabet for the new quilt I'm working on.

And this is a picture of the baby quilt I started for Shirley Jean about two years ago when I was pregnant with her. Thanks, Kristi, for helping with the binding!

This ABC Quilt is brought to you by the number four.