Helps

I have something I need to get off my chest.
Remember the spiritual gift of "Helps" that oh-so-many of you women out there have in abundance?
I don't have it.
You won't find me elbowing my way into the kitchen to help clean up after dinner. I won't drop what I'm doing to help a co-worker find a stapler. I won't put your project before mine. It just doesn't occur to me. It's not because I don't WANT to be helpful. I just don't have that gene.
My job poses a serious problem in this area. I am a paid helper. I get worn out easily trying to help create presentations, help find sh*t, help find PEOPLE, help schedule meetings, help organize...
Now, this isn't to say that I won't do absolutely EVERYTHING necessary to help a friend or loved one in need, and that's the truth. Surgery? I'm there. Broken femur? Count me in. Death in the family? You can count on me.
It just probably won't occur to me to do your dishes. I'm sorry.
And that's all I have to say about that.





Other random thoughts:
1. Rich and I are ready for Iron Chef America: VELVEETA!
3. As well as Iron Chef America: SPAM!
4. And Iron Chef America: PEANUT BUTTER AND THE COTTON GIN!
5. Yes, I will be out with the masses shopping on Black Friday. What do I need?
-New undergarments
-A camcorder (or whatever we're calling them in Y2K)
-To spend the rest of my birthday money. (I'm thinking it might be time for another purse. Or some more earrings. Or a camcorder. I just don't know!)
6. I HAVE TO see Love in the time of Cholera if it's the last thing I do!
7. I might ACTUALLY get the laundry done before we leave for Nebraska. RAD!
8. Try Puffs Plus with Vicks even if you don't have a cold. I've never enjoyed a tissue more.
9. Thanksgiving is on Thursday! As said in Corky said, "Get me out of this 'ell 'ole!"

Flip Rolls

Flip Buns?
I made up a recipe tonight. At least I think I did. I can't decide to call them Flip Rolls or Flip Buns.
I guess I'm leaning more toward Flip Rolls because it sounds like a command that would really confuse Pedro. Thoughts?

Turn Hawaiian sweet rolls upside down in a pan.
Don't bother greasing.
Melt 1/2 stick of butter with 1/2C brown sugar in a small saucepan on the stove.
Stir in a dash of cinnamon and a drop or two of vanilla.
Stir, stir, stir.
Pour mixture over rolls.
Sprinkle with a little extra brown sugar.
Bake at 350 for 15 minutes or until you can't take it anymore.
Let cool (if you want) and eat.

I couldn't even get a photo before we had eaten half the pan.





These are very healthy and calorie free.
I swear.
A word of caution: Turn off your burners.
Oops.

My Birthday

I had a wonderful birthday.

I got to sleep in, then Rich and I drove to St. Cloud to watch Mandi play hockey. She was AWESOME! It was St. Ben's first conference win AND a shut out, led by freshman goalie, my sister! What a fun game to watch.

Afterword, Rich, Mandi and I went out to dinner and then to the mall where Richard bought me a pair of aquamarine earrings (the birthstone of our baby) for my birthday. They can be seen here (click on the photo to zoom in).

We came home andd I got to spend two hours reading Love in the time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, my all time favorite author of all time. That's two all times. THE MOVIE CAME OUT ON FRIDAY!!!! I'm trying to finish the book (again) in time to see it before it leaves the theaters. I have low hopes. Anything I like doesn't last long...

Anyhow, could a girl ask for more for her birthday? Really?

Here are some photos from the day:

26

I turn 26 tomorrow.
I'm dealing with it a LOT better than I did with 25.
For my 25th birthday a bunch of us went out for dinner where I proceeded to get veeery drunk. In front of my in-laws.
I feel like I should be embarassed about that, but I think they found it amusing.
The best part of the night?
My friends singing Frere Jaques in rounds instead of Happy Birthday. That will forever remain embedded in my memory of all time favorite things.
The next best part of the night?
The meatball eating contest.

Guess you had to be there.

Singing Frere Jaques and blowing out candles.

This should give you an idea for where I was at...

Drunk face...and flashing the camera. All class, all the way.

Is this going to be one of those things I regret in an hour?

Don't worry--I didn't ACTUALLY show anything. It looks worse than it is because of the crop. I swear.

nope

Warning: This post contains adult language.

I just got asked if I would be willing to work part time while I'm on maternity leave.

Heck no.




Sigh.

5:13

It was 5:13 this morning when Richard woke me up talking in his sleep (this NEVER happens).
The cat quietly crept up and laid on my shoulder (balanced perfectly on my side) with his nose behind my ear. I have no idea how often he does this.
I thought for sure I saw something shadowy moving out of the corner of my eye.
I could hear Pedro growling and whimpering in his sleep.
I heard something moving outside.
All of these things put together totally freaked me out.
I woke Richard up.
"Hi. What are you dreaming about?"
"Autobots." He proceeded to make Autobot noises.
"Really? Do you have to go to the bathroom?"
"Um, no."
"Oh. I think you should. And while you're up, can you check for the boogeyman?"
"Erin, there's no one here."
"There might be."
"Pedro would be going nuts if someone was here."
"Unless Pedro is already dead!" I said.
I knew if I talked long enough Rich would have to go to the bathroom.
My persistence paid off.
Richard checked--no boogeyman.

Turns out, the tarp had blown off the A/C unit.
Period.

Westies

Thankfully, Annie managed to get a photo of my mom's Westie quilt at the retreat last weekend.

I somehow managed to miss it.

Come to think of it, I didn't take photos of much...I wonder why.

Oh yeah! I was sound asleep.

Anyhow...

Won't it be DARLING?!

I can't wait til it's finished. Not bad for a first-timer, eh?

Dears

Dear Richard,
I love you. Thanks for letting me sleep all day yesterday.
I'm feeling a little more normal today.

Dear Brenda,
I tried the gingerbread latte. Yum-O!
Thanks for the recommendation!

Dear Lauren,
I'm glad that you don't read my blog because when I tell you stories your eyes DON'T glaze over because you've already read it. You even laugh! That's fun.

Dear Carla,
Thanks for the movie.

Dear Noonie,
I miss you. I liked it better when you lived HERE.
Can't wait for this weekend!

Dear McClain,
See Noonie's letter.
Can't wait for Thanksgiving!

Dear Friends,
No, there really isn't anything I want to do for my birthday.
If you really want to get together, work with Richard to plan something.
I'll come, but I'm just not too jazzed for my birthday this year.

Dear Bloggers,
Thanks for wishing me well yesterday.

Dear DesvousJunior,
Keep doin' what you're doin'.

All my love,
Erin

Mental Health Day

I stayed in bed today until 2pm.
I'm not sick, but not feeling very well.
I wish I got sick days and mental health days. They are two very different things.

Playwright

I forgot to tell you about one of the highlights of the quilting retreat! I was able to showcase my "talents" as a writer. I had no idea that I could write skits. Forgive me if I don't have the punctuation right.

Mom was thrilled to see me use my degree to write dialogue for Bubba. Go figure.

Bubba: played by Kristi.

Store Manager: Played by Kristen.

Elvira: Played by yours truly.

Dragnet team: Marjie and Dawne.

[Setting: Wal-Mart parking lot near a beat up pick up truck.]

Bubba (looking in truck window): Well dip me in honey and call me a corndog! I'll be codswalloped! My skunk-skin cap! It's gone! Stolen! MY SKUNK SKIN CAP! Ooh...Elvira...!

(Fuming, Bubba walks back toward Wal-Mart.)

Bubba (to store manager): My skunk-skin cap's gone-a-missin' from my truck. Find me Elvira! That low-life, liver-lickin cap thief took it. I just know it. She's always been jealous of my skunk-skin cap!

Store Manager: Sir, Elvira couldn't'a took yer cap! She's been runnin' the registers all day.

Bubba: Nosiree. That elfish, eatin'-everythin' ELEPHANT WOMAN took it! She's been out to get me ever since I spurned her advances!

Store Manager (sighs over intercom): Elvira, report to customer service. (Looks at Bubba.) Immediately. (To self,) Perhaps I should call the po-lice.

[Elvira and Dragnet arrive at Customer Service at the same time.]

Bubba: Good timin'! Officer, arrest this she-devil!

Elvira: What?! What on earth for?! I been here with Jed 'n' Wanda all day. I ain't even had my smoke break yet! (Rubs pregnant belly.)

Bubba: Smoke break! Pah! You got cheez whiz all over yer face! Where you been?! I know! Stealin' my skunk-skin cap!

[All cast members gasp. Elvira wipes at her face.]

Elvira: Well, I was...hungry. But I ain't touched no hat.

Bubba: I know it was you, you cap-keepin, cold-collared, skunk-skin lover. I luhrved that cap!

Detective Marjie: Just the facts sir. Just stick to the facts.

Deputy Dawne: Don't worry, everyone. I'm sure we'll get to the bottom of thi--

Detective Marjie: Just the facts! Stick to the facts! Why don't you take us to the scene of the crime?

Bubba: With JUBLIATION, I will take you to the scene of the crime! (Scowls at Elvira.)

[The group moves toward the pick-up truck where the Dragnet team spots the cap on top of the truck.]

DM: Can you please describe the cap?

Bubba: Oh, I luhrved that cap! I skinned the skunk after I et it. I mean, I skinned it, then I et it, then I tanned the hide to make the most beautiful cap!

DM: Just the facts, sir. Where was the cap last seen?

Bubba: Right thar! In that thar pick up truck. In the back seat!

DM: It sounds to me like you are describing the top of the truck! (Triumphantly grabs cap.)

Bubba: Well ain't it obvious? That pilferin'-plottin' PILL of a woman planted my skunk skin cap on top-a-my truck thar!

DM (ignoring Bubba): Elvira, would you like to press charges for false accusations?

(Deputy Dawne moves toward Bubba to arrest.)

Elvira: No, I don't believe I will. I can forgive Bubba fer hurtin' my feelin's even if he don't deserve it.

[All cast members gasp in surprise.]

Bubba: Well smack my bottom and call me a waitress, I don't believe it.

I take it back.

Now that I think about it, Pedro actually knows several words in addition to "sit," "lay," and "shake," all of which illicit some sort of INTENSE emotion.





Popcorn: Jubilation and tail chasing in the kitchen.
Rollover: Confusion and rollover 10% of the time.
Gitchertoy: Happiness and toy retrieval.
Wheresyerkitty: Head cock and tail chasing.
Didjoodothis: Hiding under the bed.
Outside: Stuffed animal retrieval and nose pressed to the door.
Getdown: Wait one more beat to see if I really meant it.
No: Try one more time to see if I really meant it.
Bath: Cowering fear.

Exploding Kernels of Fun

Pedro knows two words:

1. Sit.

2. Popcorn.

We often refer to popcorn as "exploding kernels of fun" if we don't want our 14-lb maniac to go berserk.

Berserk.

Popcorn is really the only human treat Pedro gets to share with the family, so you can understand his excitement.

The scene:

Richard is sitting on the living room floor watching the Colts lose to the Chargers with a gargantuan bowl of popcorn.

He sets one piece of popcorn in front of the cat and tells the dog to stay away; that it belongs to the cat.

Pedro oh-so-sneakily sneaks AROUND the entertainment center in order to steal the popcorn from the cat, as if Richard might not notice him if he comes at it from a different direction.

As soon as the dog disappears around the other side of the TV, Richard grabs the original piece of popcorn leaving Pedro confused.

Could the kitty have eaten the popcorn? Did he imagine the piece of popcorn? Did he already eat it?

The cat knows exactly what is going on and flaps his tail sassily as if he really did want the popcorn in the first place.

Hours of fun.

Rich says he can't wait to have kids. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing...

I'm glad to be home.

Retreat!

I didn't get much done at the quilting retreat.
I couldn't drag my quiltin' rear out of bed long enough to do anything.
I didn't make it past 11pm any night we were there (nor did I rise before 10am any morning). Last night I went to take a "nap" at 9:30, fully intending to come back to my machine an hour later.
I woke up at 1:30 when Mom and Sarah came to bed, at which point, Mom said, "Don't you wish you could sleep through your whole pregnancy and wake up with a baby, like Rumplestiltskin?"
I said, "I'm not sure if I would rather wake up to a baby or a beard."

I'll show you the quilt eventually. It's gonna be cool. If I can stay awake long enough to finish.

Stuff and more random ideas

1. Look at my new table!

I've wanted a "breakfast table" since we moved in to our house!

Thank you, Josh & Cara for opening up your garage to us! Such a fun night, and really made me thankful for young married friends. You guys are the best.

2. I leave for the quilting retreat TOMORROW!!

3. My mom is going on the quilting retreat!!

As Kristi mentioned, I have not looked forward to a retreat this much in a LONG time. I am VERY excited to get out of here and work on my baby quilt. Expect photos next week.

4. I'm turning off my phone this weekend.

I'm on vacation. Don't try to get ahold of me. : )

5. My book club rules! Meeting every other Tuesday with two AWESOME chicas is better than I expected. Not that I expected it to be bad, but...you know what I mean.

6. A co-worker returned today from maternity leave. I said, "You look so good!! Welcome back!"

I should have stopped there. Instead I went on to say,

"Your face is back to normal!"

What the crap is wrong with me?

I guess The Office phenomenon goes both ways...

7. Happy Birthday, Brandy!! Love you!

p.s. I reserve the right to blog more later today.

For Paul D.

Remember the three-legged chihuahua?

I saw the same dog yesterday walking (slowly) with his owner.

Wearing a sweater.

Dear Mr. Johnson,

Eleven years ago, you were the one who told me I could be a writer. Or, at least you made me think I could really do it.
I adored you, and 232 facebook members in the group
"Oscar Johnson is God"
can't be wrong.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axkIyATNRQQ



How do you put a video in?? I don't get it!

Made Me Smile

U.S. President George W. Bush (L) awards the Presidential Medal of Freedom to American novelist Harper Lee (R) in the East Room of the White House, November 5, 2007. REUTERS/Larry Downing (UNITED STATES)

This brought a smile to my face.

Today's trivia question:
Who is Harper Lee?

Don't let me down, guys.

Poll

Since my smell post has crashed and burned, I've decided to add a poll.
I've been thinking about Hillary a lot lately and how terrifying it is that she could possibly be our next leader. Fearless, perhaps. But trustworthy and honorable? I just don't see it.
Please don't tear me to shreds. I am ABSOLUTELY not interested in a political debate.
Anyway.
Vote in my first poll!

Smells

Have you ever noticed that some people just smell good?
Whether it be body chemistry or perfume or cologne, some people just smell great.
Some days you're walking down the hall on your way to the cafeteria and manage to walk behind somebody who just smells so good you could follow them anywhere. You relax and feel better about life in general. Can you identify?
I am not one of these people.
Unless Eau de Garlic is a soothing, come hither scent.

Boo.

Wa.
Wahhhawaaaa.

That's how I feel.

I don't like anyone.
I don't like doing things.
I don't like helping people with power point presentations.
I don't like going places.
I don't like food.
I don't like anything.
Boo-freaking-hoo.

My neck hurts.
My pants are too short.
I have heartburn.
Angie is crabby.
My mom doesn't feel good.
It's only 10:30, not 2:30.

Like I said.
Boo-freaking-hoo.

I can't even drink wine to go with my whine.
And I'm not supposed to eat effing SOFT CHEESE!
But I'm gonna.

Random Thoughts

These are the things on my mind today:

Is a male receptionist called a "receptioner?"

Somebody left a stack of post-its on the counter in the copy room and wrote "Take me," on each pad. I added "Please."

Tonight is our last Bible Study for Alpha. It's bitter sweet. A stunted period of thought and growth.

Even though now that my dad is retired he'll probably be easier to get ahold of, it seems very strange that he's not an instant message away anymore. Again, bitter sweet.

What the crap happened to my best friend? I haven't heard from her since mid-August.

I got smiled at by three people on my way in to the building this morning. Great big, "Glad you're here!" smiles. Made me wonder if I had something stuck to my face.

I am SO ready for Thanksgiving. I think it's my all-time favorite holiday.

I dreamt that I drove off of a cliff the other night. I woke up before my car hit the water. Terrifying.


Random thoughts are sweet,
but not as sweet as you, dear--
my list of cookies.

Holy Christmas Cookie, Batman!

Somebody sent this to me at work today. I hope the links work. Some of these look pretty fun.

1-2-3 Cookies 7 Layer Cookies Allie Nelson's Famous Snickerdoodle Cookies Almond Crescent Shortbread Amish Sugar Cookies Andies Candies Cookies Angel Crisps Angenets Applesauce Cookies Apricot Fold-Overs Aunt Edy's Molasses Crinkles Auntie Linda's Ginger Gems Bakeless Dream Cookies Banana Drop Cookies Best Chocolate Chip Cookies in the World Biscotti Biscotti Blueberry Cookies Boiled Chocolate Oatmeal Drop Cookies Bronwnies Brown Sugar Shortbread Brownie Cookies Brownie Delight Brownies Buccaneer Snowballs Buried Cherry Cookies Butter Cookies Butter Nut Balls Butterballs Butterscotch Haystacks C.O.P. Cookies Candy Cane Cookies Candy Cookies Caramel Shortbread Cheesecake Brownies Cherry Buns Cherry Crowns Cherry Winks Chewies Chewy Noels Chinese Chews/Haystacks Chocolate Chip Cookie Bars Chocolate Chip Cookies Chocolate Chip Meltaways Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter Cookies Chocolate Christmas Trees Chocolate Cream Cheese Squares Chocolate Crinkles Chocolate Mint Snow-Top Cookies Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies (no bake) Chocolate Snowball Cookies Chocolate Streusel Bars Chocolate Sundae Cookies Chocolate Walnut Crumb Bars Choco-Scotch Crunchies Choose A Cookie Dough Recipe Christmas Crackers Christmas Crunch Bars Christmas Ginger Snaps Christmas Macaroons Christmas Mice Cookies Christmas Shaped Cookies Church Window Cookies Coconut Cookies Congo Squares Cookie in a Jar Corn Flakes Cookies Cornflake Christmas Wreaths Cowboy Cookies (oatmeal) Cream Cheese Cookies with Apricot Filling Crème De Menthe Chocolate Squares Crème Wafers Crescent Cookies Crispy Crunchies Date Nut Balls Date-nut Pinwheel Cookies Diabetic Peanut Butter Cookies Disgustingly Rich Brownies Doodles Double chocolate chip cookies Double-Chocolate Crinkles Eatmore Cookies Eggnog Cookies Elizabeth's Sugar Cookies Elves Quick Fudge Brownies Emily Dickinson's Gingerbread Cookie Recipe Emily's Best Brownies Famous Oatmeal Cookies Firemen Cookies Fluffy Shortbread Cookies Forgotten Cookies Frosted Peanut Butter Brownies Fruit Cake Cookies Fruitcake Squares Fry Pan Cookies Gems Ginger Cookies Ginger Crinkles Gingerbread Baby Gingerbread Cookies with Butter Cream Icing Gingerbread Men Gingerbread Men Ginny's Gluten Free Chocolate Chip Cookies Glory's Golden Graham Squares Glory's Sugar Cookies Gramma Chapman's chocolate coconut drops Grandma Elsie's Zimt (cinnamon) Cookies Grandma J's Butter Cookies Grandma Olson's Parkay Cookies Great Grandmothers Sugar Cookies Gum Drop Cookies Gumdrop Gems Haystack Cookies Ho-Ho Bars Holiday Cereal Snaps Holiday Chocolate Butter Cookies Holiday Raisin Walnut Bars Holly Cookies Hungarian Cookies (Little Nut Rolls) Ice Box Cookies Irresistible Peanut Butter Cookies Italian Cookies Jacob's Peppermint Snowballs Jam Bars Jessica's Famous Brownies Jessie's Chocolate Chip Cookies Jubilee Jumbles Juliet's Peanut Butter Blossoms Jumbo Chocolate Chip Cookies Kentucky Colonels Kiefle (cream cheese cookies with jam filling) Kifflings Kiss Cookies Lacy Swedish Almond Wafers Lemon Angel Bar Cookies Lemon Bars Lemon Cake Cookies Lemon Cream Cheese Cookies Lemon Squares Linzer Tarts Log Cabin Cookies Luscious Lemon Squares M&M Cookies Magic Cookie Bars Melt in Your Mouth Cutout Sugar Cookies Melting Shortbread Meme's Cream Cheese Cookies Milk Chocolate Florentine Cookies Mincemeat Cookies Mincemeat Goodies Molasses Cookies Molasses Forest Cookies Molasses Sugar Cookies Mom Mom's Crescent Cookies Mom-Mom's Ginger Cookies Mom's Nutmeg Sugar Cookies Mom's Old Fashion "Puffy" Sugar Cookies Monster Cookies Moravian Christmas Cookies Nana's Famous Soft Southern Cookies Nitey Nite Cookies No Bake Chocolate Cookies No Bake Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies No Bake Cookies No Bake Cookies No Bake Peanut Butter Cookies No-Bake Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies No-Bake Cookies Norwegian Sugar Cookies Nut Balls Oatmeal Bars Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Nut Cookies Oatmeal Coconut Crisps Oatmeal Cookies Oatmeal Scotchies Old Fashioned Sugar Cookies Ooey Gooey Caramel Chocolate Dunk Ooey Gooey Squares Orange Slice Cookies Parking Lot Cookies Peanut Blossoms Peanut Butter Bars Peanut Butter Blossoms Peanut Butter Cereal Cookies Peanut Butter Chewies Peanut Butter Chocolate Bars Peanut Butter Cookies Peanut Butter Cookies Peanut butter fingers Peanut Butter Reindeer Pe d anut Butter Surprises Peanut Marshmallow Cookies Pecan Puff Cookies Peppermint Snowballs Peppernuts Persimmon Cookies Persimmon Cookies Petey's Yummy Spicy Almond Thins Pfeffernuesse Pffefferneuse Cookies Pineapple Filled Cookies Pizzelles Potato Chip Cookies Potato Flake Cookies Praline Cookies Praline Strips Pterodactyl Nests Pumpkin Bars Pumpkin Bars Pumpkin Chip Cookies Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies Pumpkin Cookies Queen Biscuits Quick Cookies Raised Sugar Cookies Raisin Filled Oatmeal Bars Raspberry Meringue Bars Really Peanutty Butter Cookies Reese`s Brownies Reese's Peanut Butter Bars Rich Flavor Christmas Cookies Rich Lemon Bars Ricotta Cheese Cookies Royal Almond Christmas Bars Rudolph Cinnamon Cookies Russian Tea Cookies Russian Teacakes Samantha & Kelsey's Chocolate Chip Cookies Sand Art Brownies Santa Claus Cookie Pops Santa Claus Cookies Santa's Butterscotch Melts Santa's Shorts Santa's Special Squares Scotch Cakes Scotch Shortbread Scotcharoos Scotcheroos Seven Layer Cookies Short Bread Cookies Shortbread Skor Squares Snicker Doodle Cookies Snickerdoodles Snickerdoodles Snow Balls Sour Cream Apple Squares Sour Cream Christmas Cookies Special K Cookies Spice Cookies Spicy Oatmeal Raisin Cookie Spritz Cookies Stained Glass Window Cookies Stir & Drop Sugar Cookies Sugar Cookies Sugar Cookies Sugar Cookies Swedish Pepparkakor (Pepper Cake) Cookies Swedish Sugar Cookies Sweet Marie's Swiss Treats Taralle (Italian Cookies) Tea Time Tassies Texas Brownies The Best Shortbread in The World Thumbprint Cookies Thumbprint Cookies Toffee Squares Traditional Christmas Sugar Cookies Traditional Gingerbread Men Cookies Triple-Chocolate Chip Cookies Ultimate Chocolate Chip Cookies Vanilla Waffer Balls Walnut Butter Cookies Walnut Crumb Bars White Chip Chocolate Cookies Wild Oatmeal Cookies Will's Famous Apple Jack Cookies Yummy Yummy Peanut Butter Blossoms

Closed for Business

I turned off the lights at 8:57.

When I get 17-year-olds claiming to be "candy collectors," I'm done.

I probably shouldn't have made fun of them. I'm totally gonna get egged tonight.

At least the cars are in the garage.

As I mentioned to Carla, I hate this "holiday." Dressing up is fun, sure, and handing out candy is usually even more fun, but ...I dunno. I miss the days when costumes took thought and planning. Last year Richard and I went as Olive Oyle and Popeye. If you know either of us, you know this was a VERY good costume, considering our perspective body-types.

A mask to make it look like you have a knife through your rubbery vampire head just doesn't trip my trigger. Especially when you're wearing your Roseville Hockey sweatshirt.

I will try to find a photo of our costumes from last year. They really were very good.
I also think it's worth mentioning that the best costumes tonight were Harry Potter and his Vampire friend. I wasn't convinced until they told me they were "Harry and Scary." They were only about ten. I thought they were pretty cute.

* * *

Boy...upon re-reading this, I sound pretty crotchety.

Next year I'll probably be the mean old lady who hands out peanut butter taffy and root beer barrels.

I guess that's still better than raisins.

In the Spirit of Things

I finally found my Halloween dish towels last night. I figure better late than never.

Richard and I also made caramel puff corn last night to get in the fall spirit. Actually, I made it and Richard morally supported me from the couch. Then I had to hide it from him to save myself some for tonight. Remember the Little Red Hen? Anyway...

This morning I decided to try to dress a little bit festive. I'm wearing my peachy-orange corduroy blouse (that I only wear once a year), black pants, and halloween socks. I think I look pretty cute. I thought for SURE that others would dress similarly--you know those appliqued sweaters with pumpkins or SOMETHING like that.

But no.

I'm officially Ugly Betty.

At least I didn't wear cat ears or something like that. Or paint my face. Oh, Lord, how humiliating would THAT have been?

Well, Happy Halloween, everybody. I'm expecting major trick or treating action tonight. I always like to see everybody's costumes.

Can you believe it's almost November? Seems like I was just complaining about changing my calendar to October... : )

Also, if you don't watch Ugly Betty, how can you not watch Ugly Betty?! It's totally one of my favorites.

Baby Shower

It's a girl!
Please join us to celebrate the birth of
Sophia Colette Nourse
Baby Shower Open House
Sunday, November 4, 2007
from 3-5pm
at Faith Community Church

Please let me know if you will be able to attend!

We hope to see you there!

Pinched

One of my co-workers noticed that I am walking stiffly.
I told her about the pain and seizing I've been having in my neck.
"I went to the chiropractor twice yesterday and I have another appointment today and tomorrow," I told her.
She said, "I used to get my neck adjusted all the time until I read an article in a magazine that said that if your adjustment isn't done carefully you can get a pinched nerve...which can kill you."
She looked at me, waiting to see how I would respond.
I waited a beat.
"I guess I'm willing to take that risk."
"Ok..." she said warningly. "I hope you feel better."

Do you ever have days, conversations, arguments. coworkers or friends with whom you just can't win?

ENFP, ISFJ, OREO

Mandi and I may not have a lot in common when it comes to personality, but we both think it's important to tell the world that it's midnight and we both want Oreos.

Still Got It

For one of Mandi's classes, she has to take the Myers-Briggs personality test.
So...we took it together tonight. Click here for a free link.
I thought that maybe I had changed in the couple of years I've been married but it appears that I'm even more of an ENFP than I thought.
Here are some pertinent quotes I found about my personality:
"ENFPs like to tell funny stories, especially about their friends. This penchant may be why many are attracted to journalism. I kid one of my ENFP friends that if I want the sixth fleet to know something, I'll just tell him."
This is the one that made Richard laugh out loud:
"Close enough is satisfactory to the ENFP..."
Oh, so true.
What is it about these personality tests that is so satisfying?
Is it my own vanity? I want to be affirmed by Mr. Myers and Mr. Briggs so badly that I'm willing to sit at a computer and take the test again despite the fact that I can feel my neck seizing up...just to confirm that what I thought was true: I'm an Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiver.
"[For the ENFP], nothing occurs which does not have some deep ethical significance, and this, coupled with their uncanny sense of the motivations of others, gives them a talent for seeing life as an exciting drama, pregnant with possibilities for both good and evil."
That's a lot to think about...
I think this post is almost done.
Close enough.

For the record, Mandi is ISFJ and Richard is ISTJ. : )
According to the Jung Marriage Test, Richard and I are an "unsatisfactory" match. Hmmm...
Mandi and I however would make a good couple. Go figure.
OH! You'll be glad to know that my P-ness is still very strong.

Aaahhhh...Ehhhh...Owww...

The chiropractor helped tremendously.
He spent quite a while with me and about half way through the appointment I felt my body relax and go, "Ahhhh."
I actually feel a little hungover from the pain. Sort of drowsy and dazed now that I'm not in as much pain anymore. He sent me home with a couple trial packets of bio freeze (which will stay at my desk since I'm getting the real deal from Cara tonight). I felt a lot better on my way back to work, but I can feel myself tensing up again. I'm at about a 3 or 4 for pain right now, though, which is a heckuvalot better than a 9!
Thanks for your prayers. I think they really helped. If it comes across your mind, please pray that we will be able to get this under control soon.
Word to the wise--biofreeze under your wedding band is slightly uncomfortable.

Perfect 10

At the risk of sounding like a whiner, my pain level is at a 9 this morning.
I'd say I reached a perfect 10 on Saturday night somewhere around 3am.
I made it through yesterday with ice packs and Tylenol. I have a chiropractor appointment at 11 today.
I think I really hit rock bottom standing in the shower last night crying.
A simple formula:
Intense neck pain + hormones + exhaustion = discouragement and uncontrollable weeping.
(I just fought the urge to write "= priceless," but the truth is that I'm not really in the mood for jokes.)
Please keep me in your prayers today. I'm trying not to be too discouraged about my neck (it's as if I've thrown out my back, but only my neck...make sense?), but. But, what if it's like this when the baby is born? What if I can't pick up my baby? What if I feel this way for the rest of my pregnancy? What if it NEVER goes away?
Anyhow, like I said, at the risk of sounding like a whiner, please keep me in your prayers today.

It is Finished!

Dad,
Congratulations on a job well done.
I am proud of you for the way you have always sought God in your professional life, and even more proud of you for your exciting future.
I pray that God will bring you many more great things.
I love you very much.
There is more to say, but words escape me. My heart swells with pride when I tell people about you.
Congratulations on your retirement.
Love,
Richard and Erin

p.s. GET OVER HERE, so we can celebrate!

Ish

To each her own, but again I say, ish.

If you are a guy, I really wouldn't click on the link. I know that now you will, but don't say I didn't warn you.

Last Meal

While I was waiting at the Chiropractor today (I got a new chiropractor!!! Yay!!!), I read an article in Time Magazine that asked all kinds of famous chefs what they would choose as their last meal.
Mine:
First course: Chop salad with plenty of blue cheese straight from France.
Secound course: Al dente pasta with a spicy cheese sauce of some sort (with blue or gorgonzola cheese as the base). It's gotta be good, though. No Olive Garden BS for my last meal. Nosiree.
Third course: More cheeses and of course, SAUSAGE. Spicy, smoked, maybe even breakfast. Once again--good stuff. No Jimmy Dean for my last meal. Send me Andoullie straight from Louisiana, thankyouverymuch.
Fourth course: McDonald's sausage McMuffin with egg and french fries.
Dessert: Potato chips. Plain.
If a midnight snack is an option for my last meal, it will obviously be Oreos and very, VERY cold Vitamin D milk.


Please note, I have thought long and hard about this list. It is in NO WAY determined by my pregnant cravings. Really. Well, maybe the Oreos. This meal also assumes that I have a bottomless stomach. This is imaginary. Roll with it.
Ha! Pun intended.

What would your last meal be?

Great American Novel

Here's something that will appear in my G.A.N. some day. I'm sure it will end up a lot more polished than this and may not even make its way into the movie, but it was a pretty touching moment for me.
This version has been shortened for blogging purposes.
**Please note, my senior creative writing professor made me swear that I would never write about my grandmothers again.
Oops.
Sorry, Allyson. I love 'em. ; )

- - -

Shortly after Richard and I got married, my great-uncle Charles died.
My dad, another Charles, and I escorted my blind grandmother, Shirley, to Minot, North Dakota by train to attend the funeral.
The ride there was uneventful and we slept the entire way. (Nothing compared to the ride home. Another blog, another time.)
Once we reached Minot, we went to the cousin's house to change clothes and get ready for the funeral which was only an hour or so later.
When we arrived at the church, I held Grandma Shirley's hand and escorted her through the premises. We located all the important rooms: ladies' room, sanctuary, family waiting / mourning room, library, etc.
Then she asked me to take her to see her brother.
Uncle Charles was laid out in his casket looking better than I had seen him in years. I described to her that his hair was very gray, that he was wearing a blue sportcoat with a maroon tie and his hands--those McClain hands--were folded on top of his abdomen.
"Where?" She said. "Where are his hands?"
"On his stomach."
"No, show me."
I took her hands and put them on her brothers.
It was that moment that she began to cry. Gasping, deep, silent sobs.
And then she stopped.
"That was the only time I've cried over him. My brother."

Birthday Cake

Happy Birthday to two of my favorite bloggers!

New mommy, Naomi, and blogging queen, Carla!

p.s. Carla for blogging queen!

p.p.s Kristi for blogging president!

Everybody Else

Have you had the thought, "I'm not like everybody else," outside of blogdom?
Could it be why we blog?
I would be willing to bet that the incidence of feeling unlike everybody else and blogging is relatively high.
I could be making myself intensely vulnerable for no reason, here...
If so, please disregard.

p.s. I'm an ENFP.

Dingbat

I begin this post by singing, "Don't park, don't park, don't park so close to me," a la Sting.
I once went shopping with my Grandma Jean (Nebraska Grandma) and she opened her car door into another car. She said, "I'm old. I can do this sort of thing."
Yeah, well.
I'm pregnant. I can do that sort of thing.
Last week I dinged the door of a pretty navy blue BMW, a black Audi and several other imports in our parking lot. I don't mean to. It just happens. Almost every day.
Seriously. Don't park next to me.

I haven't dinged anything yet today...not a bad way to start the week.

A Halloween-esque Haiku in honor of door dings:

The phantom dinger--
She comes by it nat'rally.
Park far, far away.

Pressure

Remember the cashmere Ralph Lauren sweaters?
Richard wore one of them to church today.
We had a little cashmere lesson on the way to church.
"Be really careful with that sweater. It's cashmere," I said.
"What does that mean?"
"It means it's nicer than anything we have or can afford," I conveniently forgot my purse collection. "And whatever you do--please--don't put it in the washing machine!"
"Are you serious? That's stupid."
"Yeah, but it's a gorgeous sweater."
"Well how do we wash it?"
"We DON'T! We dry clean it."
"Oh my gosh. This is a lot of pressure."


Hey, by the way, nobody ever claimed those sweaters. It's been almost a year. I'd say the statute of limitations on claiming them is up.

Don't try this at home.

Oh, wait. That IS my home.
Richard just sent me these photos from our garage.

That's definitely my little Volkswagon strewn all over the place.

Rich is replacing the timing belt. There was only a LITTLE concern about the fact that all the parts came labeled in German...

Three posts in one day. I should get to work so -V- doesn't get too upset with me.

Saff'ed my @$$

I'm hesitant to call my lips "cured," but the Safflower Oil really seems to be helping.
If anybody's keeping score:
Erin: 1, Universe: 4.
I'll tell you about those four some other time.

Also, to those about to rock, WE SALUTE YOU!

Oh, and, P-ness.

Bathroom Panic

Ok, I might be posting too many bathroom stories, but this one really cannot go untold.

This morning, I was standing in front of the humongous wall mirror in the bathroom here on the second floor. At that time of the morning there is usually a high amount of traffic, but today for some reason things were pretty slow.

I took my time applying my mascara and fixing my hair. (I know, I should be putting on makeup at home, but I say to you--at least I'm wearing makeup.)

When I entered the bathroom, I noticed two feet firmly planted in the deathly silent handicapped stall. I went about my business and didn't pay much attention until ten minutes later when they still had not moved.

This is when I started to panic.

"Oh, Lord," I thought. "She's dead. What the eff am I going to do if she's dead?"

I considered tapping on the door and asking if she was ok, but...come ON! How weird is that? Maybe she just wanted a little alone time and here I am, some freak, tapping on the door and interrupting her morning meditation. (I would be upset if I went in there for a little nap and got interrupted...not that I would EVER do that.) OR I might just tap on the door in time to save her life.

Immediately visions of me running, screaming from the bathroom; talking to the police behind yellow caution tape all red-faced and upset; and then heading home early for the day due to the shock flashed through my head.

Did she kill herself? Did she have a heart attack? Is she narcoleptic? Is she a man who walked in to the wrong bathroom and waiting for a chance to leave?

I was bracing myself for the worst when one of my friends came in. I hustled her outside and told her what was going on. She became very concerned and marched right into the bathroom to check out the firmly planted feet.

She looked at me and shrugged. Oh-so-helpful and reassuring.

By the time my friend had flushed the toilet, the handicapped toilet flushed.

I slammed my makeup back in my purse and ran for the door.

Blogworthy

If anyone in the bathroom with me this afternoon has a blog, I'm pretty sure I probably made it on to their posts for today.
Let me explain.

Last week, I had the joy of getting together with an old friend from my past. She heard about my lip troubles and reached out to me. She had two kinds of cream for me to try and a third as a recommendation. Unfortunately, none of them turned out to be safe for pregnancy, so yet again, I'm out of ideas. At least I WAS. (At any rate, it was AWESOME to see you, Kris!)

I read an article recently about Safflower Oil.

The article said that Safflower Oil is in many high-end and highly effective mosturizers--the kind you find at Saks Fifth Avenue, Barney's, and Macy's. It suggested using straight up Safflower Oil as a moisturizer and can be found in most grocery stores.

Can you see where I'm going here?

In a last-ditch effort to save my lips, I made the trek to Cub today over lunch (with another admin friend who is very interested in the outcome of my chapping) in search of Safflower Oil.

I found it alright. A whole gallon.

Did I let the sheer volume of oil stop me?

Oh no.

From Cub we walked to the Dollar Store (with my gallon of oil under my arm) to look for a small bottle or container so I could keep some of the miracle oil at my desk or in my purse, etc (I'm not too thrilled about putting a bottle of oil in my purse, so we may need to be a little more creative...). {Vonda, did I punctuate this sentence properly? The "etc." threw me off.} We seached literally for 15 minutes before I found a package of small bottles with tight enough seals to risk it.

Then we went back to work.

This is where my blogworthiness comes in.

Imagine what I must have looked like to the other women in the bathroom, pouring my gallon jug of Safflower Oil into smaller containers. Sure, I could have waited til I got home, but I'm starting to get desperate. Actually...I think I crossed over into Desperateville about three weeks ago when I smeared a piece of bacon all over my lips.

Anyway, if I had seen me, I would have blogged about me.

I'm just saying.

I'm trying the miracle oil momentarily.

I'll keep you all posted.

~~~~~~~~~~~

*Update*

This is the article I originally read about it!

The oil tastes...oily, but honestly seems to be helping. I'm trying not to get my hopes up.

Bad Grammar

Bad grammar makes me [sic].

Dear Kristi,

I'm sorry I called you an insensitive ass.
Among other things.
To co-workers.
And strangers.
Really sorry.
Love,
Sort of an Ass

Dear Kristi,

I forgive you.
You are my Numero Uno.
Please don't tell my child when it's born.
Love,
Your Numero Uno

p.s. I'd vote for you over Hilary any day.

Personality Test

Screw Myers Briggs.
Try the Oreo Personality Test.
1. Are you a regular or double stuf? Or 'other flavor'?
2. Milk?
3. If yes, are you a dunker?
4. Can you eat just one? Or one row at a time?
5. When you wake up in the middle of the night craving Milk's Favorite Cookie, do you:
a. Wait til you can run to the store, no big deal.
b. Wake up your spouse weeping and send him/her to the store immediately.
c. Eat something else.
6. How many Oreos are in a row?
7. If your friend has Oreos in his/her teeth, do you:
a. Run out and buy a pack of Oreos immediately.
b. Laugh to yourself--you've been there.
c. Do nothing.
d. Tell them.

I think your answers will be very telling.


Also, I'm an ENFP, if you're wondering.

HAHA--NO! I'm an OREO.
Oh, I kill myself.

Dear Kristi,

You are on my list.
The bottom of my list.
You know what you did.
Sincerely yours,
Your Numero DOS.

p.s. WE. ARE. IN. A FIGHT.
p.p.s. Or, as Micah Gray would say, "LMNOP! I am so mad at you!! LMNOP! You have made me angry! LMNOP! I am a PHILISTINE! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

M&M's

This weekend with the fam, we were discussing food.
Noonie and Aunt Lori don't like it when their food touches on their plate.
Naturally, this led to a discussion about M&M's. Apparently Lori and Mandi also separate their M&M's and eat them by color.
I remember taking road trips to Nebraska and my mom would put an M&M in her mouth and tell us what color it was. To this day, I still don't know HOW SHE KNEW!!!
Anyhow, after our M&M's discussion at the table, I thought to myself, "I'm glad I don't have any weird quirks like that."
So, today I'm eating Dark Chocolate Peanut M&M's, and sure enough, what am I doing?
I dumped them all out and am eating whichever color has the MOST in the pile. I work down the line from there.
I guess we're all a little weird.

They'll bring you down.

I was talking with my sister this morning about a frustrating situation when she said,
"They'll bring you down faster than you can bring them up."
I'll leave the rest of the context up to you.
Then, my daily calendar told me.
"To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life." Romans 2:7

Am I seeking glory and honor--or even goodness--in this frustrating situation?
Now I am.

Gr.

Dear Levis,

I would like to extend a literary handshake to the brilliant mind that came up with STRETCH JEANS.
Which bozo on your board of directors said, "I have a great idea! Let's make all of our jeans 98% cotton and 2% lycra from now on! We'll replace ALL of our jeans with stretchy jeans and make it impossible to find a regular pair of jeans anywhere!!!"? I'd like to meet him.
How do I know it's a "him?" It can't have been a woman. No self-respecting woman looks forward to having a "saggy butt" after two hours of wearing her jeans that fit fine this morning.
If I wanted my jeans to sag and fall down as I walk from the parking lot to work on my FIVE "Nice Jeans Days" out of the year, I would buy them that way.
Yes, I paid $25 to a charity for the priveledge of wearing jeans every Friday between now and Thanksgiving. Yes, this is something I greatly look forward to. Sad? Perhaps.
Not the point.
I want my $25 back. From you.
The joy of "Nice Jeans Days" is smeared all over the pavement like a dead raccoon because I have to pull my pants up all day. All day. A belt does not help. The pants stretch and sag AROUND the belt.
I want my $25 back, because that's at least what it cost me in pride for knowing that my boss saw my ass crack this morning when I reached under my desk to turn on my heater. Not because my jeans were inappropriately low. Oh, no. Because they fit at 7:30 this morning, and by 9, they were three sizes too big.
Thank you very much, Levis.
Please send the check to my home.
Sincerely pissed off and stretched out,
Erin

Prayer Request

My brother is meeting with a Navy recruiter today at 4:30 (right now!), and taking the ASVAB on Saturday.
This is the most exciting news since I heard about Eva Prathiba.
Please, if you are so moved, join me in praying that God's message would be revealed to McClain at his meeting today.
I love him so much--I just can't WAIT to see what God's plan for him is.

New Rule

I got an email from Richard today while I was gone at lunch.
It was one line:

"New Rule - no more eating with dishes..."

In a following email he suggested that someone should invent dish liners.
I will add this to my supersecret list of inventions that will make me very wealthy some day.
Yes, there really is a list. The only person who knows what's on it (besides cyberspace knowing about dish liners) is Lauren. This really could be the one secret she will never tell.

This post will self-destruct in five seconds.

Of Course

Of COURSE I'm wearing khaki pants today.

Of COURSE I spilled guacamole ALL over them.

I'm just saying.

A Blair Witch Christmas

One year for Christmas the fam went to Dauphin Island, Florida to "go somewhere" and celebrate Christmas.
If memory serves, it was our first Christmas "away from home" in Alabama and we were all probably feeling a little lonely. I'm thinking it would have been around 1998. Possibly Christmas of 1999, but I really can't remember. Either way, I was about seventeen.
We stayed at a cabin on the Air Force base down there, where Lauren, McClain and I stayed in one room together with a set of three bunk beds.
Mom and dad were INCREDIBLY sick that Christmas and spent most of the long weekend laying in their own twin beds (in the Master Suite, obviously), and the three of us played Tony Hawk (the first and best one!) for about 72 hours straight on McClain's Playstation.
It was at this time that The Blair Witch Project came out on video and I had recently watched it with a group of friends. Frankly, it scared the sh*t out of me. (Yes, I knew it wasn't real. I'm a HUGE wimp. The last horror movie I watched was the Ring.) I just don't do well with fear--a reaction to some of my spiritual gifts, I think, but that's a different conversation, and not really blog fodder.
Anyhow, I think at this point, it's time to describe the cabin. Please don't imagine a cozy little Northern Minnesota-esque cabin. Imagine a barracks, complete with pleather waiting-room style couches and a 17-inch television. I think there was a kitchen, but I don't remember it at ALL. The kitchen was NOT the highlight of the weekend, as it usually is for most holidays (for me, anyhow!).
Our first night there, all I could think about was the Blair Witch coming to get me. I thought for sure she would steal me away and make me stand facing the corner while she did whatever it was that she did.
I got myself so worked up that I woke my siblings and forced them to move two sets of beds to the middle of the room. Then I made them both sleep with me in our makeshift king-sized bed, with me in the middle, of course.
They were surprisingly compliant with my requests and slept with me all weekend.
Looking back now, of course, it's all pretty foolish, but a very fond memory.
I can't remember anything I got for Christmas that year or which restaurants we ate at. Go figure. : )

Just like mom used to make!

Four things nobody makes as good as Mom:
1. Chili
2. Potato Salad
3. Meatloaf
4. Chocolate chip cookies

Others?

Congratulations, Rankin Family!

Congratulations, Ed & Vonda!!
Praise God for your little Eva!

Midas Touch

What would the opposite be of the Midas Touch?
Because that's what I have.

A Song in Your...Heart?

WARNING: This post contains mildly graphic content.

This morning in the ladies room, I was in a stall next to a woman who hummed the entire time she tinkled.
Talk about keeping a song in your heart. That was one joyful woman.

Sometimes I get so wrapped up in Corporate America that I can't tell what's normal and what's weird anymore.

Just to confirm, humming while peeing is weird, right?

The Office

Yesterday I was talking with one of my co-workers when she said, "Are you growing your hair out?"
I said, "Yes! Do you like it?"
She said, "Um, yeah...it's ok."

This Little Light of Mine

On my mind today:
I went for Chinese food with my dad a couple of weeks ago. (It was a one-shot deal, and I can't stomach the thought of Chinese, once again.)
My fortune cookie said, "Your influence has a profound impact on others."
Sometimes I entertain the intensely self-serving thought that this might be true.
I'd much prefer to think that if it is true, it's the Holy Spirit shining through me.
I have the fortune hanging on my bulletin board behind my desk phone at work to remind myself not to "hide it under a bushel" or "let Satan blow it out."
Some days it's a lot easier than others.

Halloween Candy

There is ONE good thing about this part of the year--leading straight through til Easter.
The candy!
Somebody left me a bag of mixed candy (you know, one of those 5lb whompers that has 15 different kinds of candy?) and I've been eating myself sick on SweetTarts and Laffy Taffy all day.
Here are some gems from my taffy:
A. What does a pig put on his cut?
B. Why was the cat afraid of the tree?
C. What is a fish's favorite country?
D. Why is the baker so mean?

See comments for answers!

October

Many of you blogged
about how happy you were
that fall is coming.

Let me take the chance
to say just how much I HATE
this dead time of year.

I'm happy that you
think this is such a nice time,
let me stay in bed.

The Office

Dear Pat and Carla,
Ok, so...
He hit Meredith with his car within the first 30 seconds of the show.
It's going to be a good season.
Love,
Erin & Richard

It's a Girl!

Welcome to the world
Sophia Colette Nourse!
Sophia Colette was born this morning at 3:12am, weighing 6lbs 13oz and measuring 20.25 inches long.
She has dark fuzz all over her head and dark eyes.
In the time that it took me to call people at 4am and tell them the news, Jared called Richard BACK and said, "Come now!" So we jumped in the car and went off to meet the little Sweet Pea.
Naomi said Sophia didn't cry when she was born, but just made some noises. By the time we got there, she was trying out her lungs and sucking on her fists. I'm exhausted and dreading the work day now, but it was WELL worth it.
Naomi, Jared and Sophia are all doing very well, though very tired.
It was so wonderful to meet the baby. I pray that the Lord will bless her and that she will grow up to be a gentle and Godly woman, wife and mother.
God bless you, little girl. We've been waiting for you!


I was only able to get one photo before my camera died.
If I get over there later today, I will post more pics.

Hi

Highland cow says, "Hi, Sasha."